Some stuff I found on the internet (the wonderful, glorious internet…) that made me laugh:

HOW TO GET THROWN OUT OF THE CHEMISTRY LAB
~Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?”
~Consistently write three atoms of potassium as “KKK”.
~When it’s very quiet, suddenly cry out, “My eyes!”
~Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid

NEWEST POPULAR CHILDREN’S BOOK
~The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer- Hey! Let’s Go Ride our Bikes!

THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY
~”Checkmate.”
~”I’ll take ‘Shakespeare’ for 100, Alex.”
~”Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?”
~”Give me the small bag of pork rinds.”
~”I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.”

I love that…”Checkmate.”

Hehe.