Tag Archives: yes that can be my next tweet

I am Cantor Dust

By Claudia on | Leave a comment

Okay, so I know I’ve posted a bunch of examples from That Can Be My Next Tweet, but I think the results are hysterical, so here are some more. Please ignore the fact that I have a Twitter account. I hate myself for it, if that’s any consolation.

  • Wow brain, thanks for rocking. Here’s hoping 2013 is like the Oxford comma. LAWL.
  • I automatically start every written comment with the keyboard does not allowed to Shut Up. What logical!
  • I’m not to analyze the audience. Mock teaching/training day! Probably should be damned! Party time!
  • Hitting 500 miles soon; hitting 1,000,000 steps sooner. In related news: I am 10,000 days old today. Love.
  • I get way too emotionally invested in my grades! The solar flares are BLOWING MY MIND!
  • The universe works in the first few paragraphs of the “Bird” Wikipedia page.
  • My thoughts are coming! Happy birthday, Leibniz! 750 miles! One final left asffsdfhghdfhsdkfsdfafghfff 7.
  • It’s a Fjord? HAHA SCREW SLEEP I’M MAKING C++ JOKES MAKE IT STOP Calculus, could you marry calculus?
  • Stealth dust devils? Not quite sure, but I just had a dilapidated casaba? Photoshop just told you I didn’t?
  • My life is trying to recover after a picture of sleep deprivation. I was defective. Um… Shoutout.
  • Is it inappropriate to jive? The weather is you two days into depression mode. Dude, l’Hôpital? —?
  • I am a large sample size. I supposed to be tired? HELL NO, I’M MAKING C++ JOKES!
  • I HAVE 69 TWEETS AND oh I think it’s confused. Why is my eardrum to my toe. Also, happy birthday?
  • I just spent 30 minutes laughing at a migraine. SORRY BODY, SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS! The universe works!
  • Apparently I’m supposed to jive? The solar flares are with the 1,000 mile mark! That’s resume material.
  • HaHA, Visual Basic is a Rubik’s Tesseract. What. Amazing scientific discoveries > sleep. Sorry, brain.
  • I’ve walked 180 km exploring the Tweet window like a French-Canadian version of a superhero.
  • I automatically start every written comment with half an adult. Tonight I am the “Bird” Wikipedia page.
  • Forecast, you go home, open your fridge, and think. Wow, it’s only the wake of angst!
  • Had Lord Kelvin done nothing with a large sample size, I think I feel very, very alone. I feel very, very.
Posted in: Internet | Tagged: , , , ,

My nonsense sentence is better than your Tweet

By Claudia on | Leave a comment

ALRIGHT so I know I just went on this huge rant about Twitter like three weeks ago or whenever that was.

But this thing is the greatest Twitter-related thing ever. It’ll take your Twitter username (handle?) and then generate a few sentence-like Twitter-sized phrases out of the words you’ve used in your past tweets.

I don’t know what it does with anyone else’s tweets, but my results are hilarious. I did like 40 of them in a row and these are the best ones:

  • I believe in fictional characters. Woo, Canadian taxes. Dude. Infinite series are just…right. Walk?
  • You liiiiiied! Walk into the Imperial Unit. Somebody needs to laugh at a tree. The internet!
  • My fridge is the Oxford comma. LAWL, I don’t think it’s confused. Why not use it for a picture?
  • If I can’t concentrate on a large sample size, I prevent turning into depression mode. Dude, l’Hôpital?
  • Why can’t I concentrate on my tongue? Rage Quit mirrors my birthday. Descartes! American taxes are BLOWING.
  • Broccoli: My thoughts are just…right. Walk into famous photographs. This infomercial is increasing.
  • My thoughts are BLOWING MY MIND! Can I think it’s warm in front of the character limit?
  • Why I am so much funnier after that? HOW?? I regret nothing. Claudia, you expand the Oxford comma. LAWL.
  • I am a tree. The solar flares are coming! The internet is trying the Oxford comma. LAWL could I marry?
  • Do ghosts enjoy Boo-lean algebra? CALGARY!!!!!! Happy birthday, Leibniz! And Red Bull. I ruined it.
  • I am so much more than Canadian taxes. Dude. Infinite series are the semester before.
  • Adshfdlagdaf NONE of July! Go blow stuff up watching Sunshine. Make Descartes absolutely hated.
  • I am an aggressive list of Sleepyhead remixes. Now this is going into depression mode. Dude, l’Hôpital! (this is like my life summary in tweet form)
  • Dear Brain: it’s time to handle an adult. Tonight I marry calculus. Just finished reading. Worst. Ending. Ever.

I still hate Twitter, but this is great. I wonder if it utilizes a Markov process of some sort to make the sentences.

Posted in: Internet | Tagged: , , , ,