This blog is a supplement to Maggie’s blog, posted several hours before. Maggie, I must thank you. WebMD’s Symptom Checker is an amazing time-waster. And really hilarious, too.

Here are some other fun symptoms:
Hunger
“I’m hungry, do I have Chlamydia?”
“No, you haven’t had food in 48 hours!”
This symptom is way too general.

Giddiness
Because happiness is a disease that must be cured.

Trembling associated with cannibalism in Papua New Guinea
What the hell?!?!

No menstrual periods
“Doctor, doctor! I’m not menstruating!”
“Mr. Johnson, get out of my office.”

Fear of air
Hahaha, oh crap! Isn’t that, like, a phobia? Or OCD…I didn’t check if OCD showed up in the “possible conditions” list.

Blinking eyes
We’re all sick then, aren’t we?

Choking on food
Bahahaha…I probably would not want to be checking WebMD if there was some dude choking on his dinner in the middle of my living room.
“Dude, hang in there…stay conscious until I diagnose you! Now I need you to give me a “yes” or “no” sign here…they’re asking if you’re also afraid of air…okay…good…now, have you noticed a lack of menstrual periods?”

Pulling out beard
Trichotillomania! YAY!
…but why specify the beard?

Fun times. This website is great, thanks, Maggie!