Have I read this before: Technically, yes. I read it in either 7th or 8th grade because the kid I liked was reading it and I wanted to be like him. Or with him. Or better than him. It was complicated. Anyway, I finished it and he didn’t but I’ll be damned if I remembered anything other than one of the characters being named Pierre. Note that I discuss my history with this book in this blog post, so you may want to read that first. You know, if you actually care.

Anyway.

Review: Where do I even start with this? Do I start with how there are about 80 characters but they’re all written so distinctly and thoroughly that you truly get a sense of their different personalities and backgrounds? Do I start with the fact that I knew approximately NOTHING about the Napoleonic Wars going into this thing but now all I want to do is read about that period in history in even more detail than it’s described in War and Peace? Do I start with the way Tolstoy portrays how the war effects everyone – especially the young people – is simultaneously so subtle and so blatant that you get both the “during” and “after” perspectives of this chunk of history? Can I talk about how great this particular translation is, because it certainly doesn’t even sound like a translation and sounds like you would suspect Tolstoy wrote it to sound?

WHERE DO I START

I loved this book, friends. Absolutely loved it. It’s been quite a while since a book was that engaging for me (probably not since Lonesome Dove, and before that it had been even longer). I know it’s a massive tome, but if you haven’t read it yet, READ IT.

READ.
IT.

It will capture your soul.

Hell, I don’t even know if I want to read another book for a while. What could compare to this, honestly?

Favorite Part: Again, where do I start? I just checked my Kindle and I have a ton of pages bookmarked for quotes, incidents, and descriptions that I especially liked.

Some are funny, like Bilibin’s discussion of the generals:

“Except for your man Kutuzov, every single column is commanded by a non-Russian. Look at the commanders: Herr General Wimpfen, le comte de Langeron, le prince de Liechtenstein, le prince de Hohenlohe, and then there’s Prshprshprsh-all-consonants-and-no-vowels – like all Polish names.”

Or Pierre thinking he’s destined to destroy Napoleon single-handedly because he did some stuff with numbers and found out their names were the same numerically.

“If you use this system to write out the words l’empereur Napoleon numerically, the sum of the letter-numbers comes to 666 (allowing 5 for the e omitted from le), which makes Napoleon the beast prophesied in the Apocalypse.”
…
Once he applied the system to his own name in its French version, ‘Comte Pierre Besouhof”, but the total was miles out. He changed the spelling, substituting z for s, added de and the article le, but he still couldn’t get what he wanted. Then it occurred to him that if the answer he was looking for was to be found in his name, surely his nationality ought to be mentioned as well. He tried Le russe Besuhof and this came to 671, only five too much and 5 was the value of e, the letter dropped from the definite article in l’empereur Napoleon. Dropping the e again (quite unjustifiably) Pierre got the answer he was after in the phrase l’russe Besuhof – exactly 666! This discovery shook him.”

That’s hilarious.

Many of them are the beginnings of long stretches of philosophical discussion about war (way too long to type here). Especially near the end, Tolstoy interjects every several chapters or so with a chapter dedicated to some sort of philosophical examination of some aspect of war, the character of man, history’s interpretation of events, etc.

There are also parts that I wouldn’t have gotten as much out of if I wasn’t learning French:

“He kissed her hand and called her vous and Sonya. But their eyes when they met were on tu terms and they shared a tender kiss.”

Also, a completely unintentional hilarity was included since the translator (or Tolstoy himself, I’m actually not quite sure) included a “Summary of Chapters” section in which every single chapter gets a one- or two-sentence summary. Some of the summaries are hilarious just because they make no sense unless you know how the chapter is structured (is it part of the plot or is it a “Tolstoy Philosophy Power Hour” section? Or both?). Best example: “Alexander renounces power. Why do bees exist? For no single reason.”

Rating: 9/10. This is in my Top Five.