Okay, I know I did a blog post on emojis not too long ago, but holy hell. Now I have a smart phone and I can see the insanity firsthand.

I mean, I get it. Some of these are actually useful and/or sensible. Like the regular smileys. I use regular smileys over Skype and Facebook and whatnot to indicate sarcasm, mood, good-natured jesting, whatever.

But then it gets weird.

It’s an eye. One eye. It’s not even a “generic cartoon round shape” eye. It’s shaped kind of like a normal eye. But there’s just one. Why?

I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE POOP WHY IS THE POOP A THING

A pager, a fax machine, a floppy disk, and a VHS tape. ‘Cause LOL 90’s, right?

I don’t even know what this is. What the hell is this?

Yup. Them’s shapes.

I think this last page is Android saying, “we don’t know what the hell category to put this stuff in, so here are drugs, a gun, an Easter Island head, and a toxic barrel, you goddamn Millennials.”

WHY DO YOU NEED ANY OF THESE IN PICTURE FORM. Why would I ever want to text message someone the high density polyethylene plastic recycling symbol? Why would I ever want to text someone die faces? Or chess pieces?

Or whatever the hell this thing is?

OR THE POOP?

Ugh.