Mother Nature: Gentle humans, I bestow upon thee the Hawkeye apple – a beautiful red apple with a delicious, appealing taste.

Humans: Yum! Let’s call it a red delicious!

Mother Nature: Marvelous!

Humans: But it’s ugly.

Mother Nature: U…ugly? It’s a gorgeous naturally red apple.

Humans: It’s got some yellow stripes on it.

Mother Nature: Ah, but that’s part of its beauty! Each apple is unique!

Humans: Yellow stripes are unappealing. We want a perfectly red apple. Let’s start selectively breeding these bad boys to get rid of the yellow and make them red as a gaping flesh wound.

Mother Nature: K that’s gross but do you realize that a lot of the genes responsible for flavor are on the same chromosomes as the genes responsible for the yellow stripes?

Humans: I WANT UNIFORM FACTORY FRUIT SO HELP ME GOD LET’S GET ON WITH THE INBREEDING TO MAKE THESE SONS OF BITCHES LOOK LIKE THEY WERE SPRAY-PAINTED WITH BLOOD

Mother Nature: Alright, alright, whatever.

*decades pass*

Humans: ???Why do red delicious apples taste like ass???

(True story).