I have a lot of music. Because of this (and because Apple’s shuffle is not truly random), there are a lot of songs that I haven’t actually heard in a long time.

One of which is this song, which came up for the first time in YEARS when I shuffled my music:

And I was immediately transported back to 2009 when I’d downloaded this song. I was at UBC, still in the office in the psych building (instead of that god-awful botany annex) and spent a lot of time listening to this song loudly over my headphones.

It just…ugh, it just sent me back there so easily. And the whole song just aches of despair because that’s the emotion I most strongly associate with the time I’d downloaded it.

I often wonder if my memories that are tied to music are actually stronger than most peoples’ music-based memories since I am missing the most “memory-connected” sense and thus I have to compensate.

Now I have to go cry in a corner and convince my brain that UBC didn’t really happen, because OH MY GOD I had the worst time there.