We’ve all seen the posts on Tumblr/Facebook/wherever that say “You are more than your grades.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For most people, that’s true.

But not for me.

I get a lot of crap for putting so much importance on my grades. “It really doesn’t matter what grades you get,” people say. “Past college, no one gives a crap.”

I know that, okay?

But I still put practically all of my self-worth into the grades I get. Why? Because I have no other redeemable qualities as a human being.

I suck at pretty much everything. I’m not pretty. I’m not funny. I have major anger issues. I’m not a good conversationalist. I have no original thoughts. I’m lazy. I’m messy. I have no close friends. I can’t even make friends anymore. I doubt I’ll ever be in a relationship again. I have horrible, self-destructive habits that also hurt others. I’m selfish. I’m negative. I’m uninteresting. I’m just…not a good person. But I’m pretty damn good at school.

So that’s where I focus my attention. That’s where I put all my worth, because that’s the only thing I’ve really got.

So yeah.

I don’t know why I had the sudden urge to make that declaration. Probably because I’m having yet another “stupid night” and I needed to either vent or go run into traffic.

Either way. I really don’t care anymore.

We’ve all seen the posts on Tumblr/Facebook/wherever that say “You are more than your grades.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For most people, that’s true.

But not for me.

I get a lot of crap for putting so much importance on my grades.

“It really doesn’t matter what grades you get,” people say. “Past college, no one gives a crap.”

I know that, okay?

But I still put practically all of my self-worth into the grades I get.

Why?

Because I have no other redeemable qualities as a human being.

I suck at pretty much everything. I’m not pretty. I’m not funny. I have major anger issues. I’m not a good conversationalist. I have no original thoughts. I’m lazy. I’m messy. I have no close friends. I can’t even make friends anymore. I doubt I’ll ever be in a relationship again. I have horrible, self-destructive habits that also hurt others. I’m selfish. I’m negative. I’m uninteresting. I’m just…not a good person.

But I’m pretty damn good at school.

So that’s where I focus my attention. That’s where I put all my worth, because that’s the only thing I’ve really got.

So yeah.

I don’t know why I had the sudden urge to make that declaration. Probably because I’m having yet another “stupid night” and I needed to either vent or go run into traffic.

Either way. I really don’t care anymore.

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