Have I posted this on here before?
I don’t know. And I don’t care. Today has sucked and I have no blog content.
BYE
Bah, what’s with me?
This is going to sound like a super emo post, but I don’t have anything else to say today so you get to hear me bitch about pseudo problems.
I suck at being happy.
It’s not that I can’t be happy. It’s true that I haven’t been truly happy in like three years, but once I started teaching stats and taking classes, I finally felt that elusive joy you feel when you wake up knowing that you have a purpose (or at least can pretend to have one).
But whenever I get to that happiness stage, there’s always a little (often big) voice in the back of my head saying, “why the hell are you happy? Happiness = complacency, complacency = stagnation, stagnation = you’re not trying hard enough you fool.”
Stupid? Yeah, welcome to my world.
But that’s how it goes.
Now I have to find something to fret over obsessively to bring things back from “obscene happiness.”
‘Caaaaaaaaaaaause I suck.
Good stuff
Ah, test anxiety. I’ve forgotten how you feel. I’ll bet you $20 that I’ll be throwing up all morning tomorrow before I get to campus.
But aside from that…
I’m experiencing a feeling that I haven’t genuinely felt in a long, long time: happiness. Sure, obviously I’ve had SOME little bits of happiness, but for the past three years or so I’ve felt like I haven’t had a purpose or haven’t had a goal worth working for.
But now that’s gone. And I’m…I’m happy. For the first time since like 2009, I’m actually genuinely happy.
I don’t really know how to handle this.
Because it’s my blog and my post and I want to
25 Things that Make Me Obscenely Happy: A Subjective List in No Particular Order
- Statistics.
- Color.
- A song with a good beat.
- Puns.
- Leibniz.
- Graphs. Of pretty much anything.
- Philosophy and/or philosophical discussions.
- Band.
- Writing.
- Metalocalypse.
- Unexpected romantic moments (I know, I know, gag).
- Memories.
- Knowing that, whenever I want to, I can walk into a room of farts and not have any clue about the horrible stench.
- Rock Band. Especially when it’s taken way too seriously.
- Ostentatious clothing.
- M&Ms.
- The twisted fantasies playing out in my head.
- Putting googly eyes on inanimate objects, thus making them animate.
- Getting nude with friends.
- Finding patterns in things.
- Obsessing.
- Organizing stuff.
- Lists.
- Getting super hyper, starting about 5 Flash projects at once, and not finishing a damn one of them.
- Playing my clarinet.
Yay.
I am SO going to karmic hell
This is gonna bite me hard in the butt somewhere down the line.
But as of this moment, I care not.
Eigenblogger 