Dr. Seuss for clouds: “Oh, the Places You’ll Snow!”
Oh my god, I want a Subway tuna sandwich so bad right now. It’s 3 in the morning, but hell, that’s when I usually have dinner anyway. Too bad the closest Subway is like 3 miles away (and is probably closed).
GOD, DELIVER UNTO ME A SUBWAY TUNA SANDWICH.
IT’S BEEN THREE MINUTES. I HAVE NO SUBWAY TUNA SANDWICH. ERGO, THERE IS NO GOD.
Logic.
(Sorry, I’m really hyper tonight.)
Quiz Factory
Because my head’s being a noisy mess tonight.
“Your vision of the divine is similar to your view of a happy home. As long as everyone knows his or her place, all will be fine. If they step out of line however, you are the first to apply tough love, not with fire and brimstone, but with an unending torrent of guilt-inducing invective and non-stop lecturing.
“You tend to view the world as a generally benign creation that needs a little guidance to keep going in the right direction. Having created the world, you would then spend most of your time as a spiritual cheerleader, giving hope and guidance to those who never quite live up to your expectations.
“You tend to view your creations as unruly children who need a series of chores in order to keep their minds out of trouble. In service to this, you would probably create a religion full of complex ritual and repetition. It is only through a strenuous and exacting course of discipline that your followers can come to know you. If they don’t tow the line, you won’t send them to eternal damnation but rather an eternal boot camp where they can slowly and tediously come to a greater understanding of what it means to fit in.
“You are the god of bureaucrats and politicians, and your afterlife would be one of endless corridors and levels, each one leading to yet another duty that must be fulfilled, yet another loyalty to be proved. As a God, you are just never satisfied.”
Sorry, today’s been boring/long/blah.
Pastor vs. Lawyer: Metaphysical SMACKDOWN!
Stuff I do on the night I’m supposed to be packing for Seattle: pretty much everything but pack for Seattle.
Tonight I went to see a debate about God between a lawyer and a priest. Surprisingly, the priest made an almost convincing argument. I recorded the audio, and one day I may write it out in one of my blogs. But since that probably won’t happen for awhile, just ask me if you want to hear it.
Tonight I also hung out with my roommates (mainly Aaron and Lanky). Let’s just say a lot of weird stuff went down and we all kind of went insane for awhile. I think we’ll have to make this a Friday night ritual.
I didn’t start packing until 4 AM.
Clean sinks and heater grates? No thanks, I’d rather discuss metaphysics
For once, something of real interest came out of the U of I’s incompetence and disorganization.
As you may know (if I’ve told you over Messenger), my lovely little stalker and I discuss metaphysics (mainly the existence of god) during lunch. Well, we did so today—rather loudly, because he was attacking me ‘cause I’m not a theist. After lunch, my partner Mike and I were up at GSR. We cleaned the unlocked rooms pretty fast, so we sat down in the last one, prepared to wait a good hour and a half for Roy to come pick us up.
We’re sitting there in silence for a few minutes until he asks me what stalker boy and I were talking about over lunch; apparently he’d heard us debating but couldn’t catch what we were talking about. So I told him, and what do you know, he’s a Christian, so we start debating.
We debated for three hours. It was awesome. I must say, Mike did a pretty damn good job of defending his beliefs—in fact, I think it was the best theist argument I’ve ever come across. But from the directions his reasoning/evidence pointed, I’ve decided that if there is a god, he pretty much sucks. Best evidence for this: if we are striving to be like god in our virtues, universal compassion is NOT something we should be shooting for.
And God said…
Okay, so here’s the rundown:
Day 1: God created light.
Day 2: God created water/oceans/sky.
Day 3: God created dry ground and plants.
Day 4: God created seasons, the moon, etc.
Day 5: God created the birds and sea creatures.
Day 6: God created land animals and humans.
Day 7: God created—oh, wait! He didn’t create anything today! He FLIPPIN’ TOOK A NAP.
What the crap…? God needed a NAP?? He’s God! You don’t need a nap when you’re the almighty! What possible wonderful things could we have had if God hadn’t been so lazy and had created something on the seventh day?
We could be missing out on fajita trees or something!
How on earth will we solve this crisis?!?!
Eigenblogger 