Well that was a distressing dream
So y’all remember Captain Planet, right? My chill and completely non-murderous succulent plant?
Well last night I dreamt I took him out of his little water catcher plastic thingy and a huge mass of roots broke through the bottom of his pot. Nate’s watching this and I tell him, “I bet all those cramped roots are painful!” and as I say this the roots start bending upwards and growing up the outside of the pot.
Before I can react, one of the thick roots basically rips off the end of my fingertip and starts going inside my finger. And it’s SUPER PAINFUL and SUPER BLOODY and I start freaking out because I can feel the root going up my hand and arm via one of my veins.
I start telling (or screaming to) Nate that it hurts and that we need to call an ambulance because I’m pretty sure once the root gets to my heart it’ll strangle the muscle and it will die, but Nate’s pretty calm about all of this and basically says that we don’t need an ambulance for this kind of thing.
I woke up before the dream got too gruesome, but there was a lot of blood and a lot of pain and I seemed to know in the dream that I was going to die no matter what happened.
So that’s fun.
Do re mi fa so OH GOD NO
Y’ALL I keep forgetting to introduce you to my new succulent buddy, Captain Planet.
His name was originally Captain Spiny, but in one of my many COVID dreams, I’d named him Captain Planet and I had the actual Captain Planet bust through the ceiling of the condo and tell me that his name was copyrighted and how DARE I name a plant after him ANYWAY, ‘cause WHAT DO PLANTS HAVE TO DO WITH THE PLANET SLDFJSAFDKFJFJFJFJFJF
So I decided to change his name in real life.
But yeah, he’s my new buddy. I got him from Safeway because he looked super sad and lonely in his little planter. He needed love.
Eigenblogger 