Y’ALL I keep forgetting to introduce you to my new succulent buddy, Captain Planet.

His name was originally Captain Spiny, but in one of my many COVID dreams, I’d named him Captain Planet and I had the actual Captain Planet bust through the ceiling of the condo and tell me that his name was copyrighted and how DARE I name a plant after him ANYWAY, ‘cause WHAT DO PLANTS HAVE TO DO WITH THE PLANET SLDFJSAFDKFJFJFJFJFJF

So I decided to change his name in real life.

But yeah, he’s my new buddy. I got him from Safeway because he looked super sad and lonely in his little planter. He needed love.