<rant>

Three (or four?) of my friends on Facebook have posted this picture within the past 5 hours. Posting it here to rant.

The thoughts that went through my head, in order, when I saw this:

1. Oh yay. A guilt trip. There’s nothin’ quite like a guilt trip from Facebook.
2. Wait a minute. Facebook shouldn’t be giving me guilt trips, period. Stop it.
3. Ugh, there are so many things wrong with this message, though!
4. So to look like that I can only eat in public (under a shroud of shame, of course)? Is that all I have to do? No like, you know, exercise or weight training or steroids or tanning lotion?
5. And if I desire food when I’m alone, I’d better make damn sure it isn’t anything more than lettuce leaves and the microbes that live on them! Is that right?
6. Fuck. I could do that—I could eat only lettuce and lettuce microbes—and still not look like her. Have these people ever heard of genes? Specifically those that say “you’re going to grow up short and stocky and no matter what you do you won’t turn you into a model”? ‘Cause I’ve heard lots of people have that gene.
7. Is it wrong that I’m offended by this picture/caption, seriously? Does that make me one of “those people”?
8. At the same time, is it wrong that this makes me feel guilty?
9. I don’t think I’m alone in this sort of contradictory thought process, though. Please tell me I’m not the only one.
10. I think things like this are the reason why Americans can’t have normal relationships with food/body image/reality. “You’ve got to look one specific certain way and we’re going to oversimplify the steps you need to get there. You’ll feel worthless after you don’t get the same result in a short period of time. You’ll have  a donut. You’ll feel guilty. You’ll realize how dumb that is. You’ll feel guilty about feeling guilty. You’ll stop caring because it doesn’t matter anyway, now does it? You’ll realize that it does matter if you want to be taken seriously in this society. So you’ll seek out some medium that will tell you what you need to do to look that one specific way.” Rinse. Repeat.
11. If I actually “wore” what I ate I’d have a broccoli wardrobe.
12. I’d be okay with that.
13. And what about the stuff I eat in public? Does that only appear in private? Does the reverse side of this horrible, horrible logic apply in Horrible Horrible Logic land as well?
14. Also: yes, she’s pretty, but not every guy/girl/whatever finds that particular body type attractive. When will people learn this agsdhslksdfjaldkjgalkfdlkjsfaisea.

Put us all in pretty little boxes. That’ll make us happy people.

</rant>