Let’s be blasphemous.

SEVEN DEADLY SINS
Sin 1: Lust
1. Who was the last person you checked out? Did they check you out too?
I couldn’t tell you the last time I purposefully, consciously checked someone out (at least in “real life”). That’s not one of my priorities.

2. Who was the last person you desired, but they didn’t feel the same?
Hahahaha. I don’t know the last one, but the most…prevalent one in my life was Lead. So…5th grade through 12th grade.

3. Ever cheated on a significant other? If so, have you learned from it?
This is a more complicated question than it should be. There were…circumstances and a lack of communication. It’s a long story. 2008 was an absolute disaster zone, let’s just leave it at that.

4. Do you watch porn?
Ew. No.

5. Do you masturbate?
Ew. No.

6. Best physical features on your preferred sex?
I’m apparently really influenced by nose shape. I love “weird” noses. Noses that stand out for some reason or another or are the most prominent feature due to their size and/or shape. Think Pedro Pascal. He’s got the best nose, nnnf.

7. Who are some celebrities that you think are totally hot?
Didn’t I answer this question in a previous survey?

8. Did you ever lust after a best friend’s significant other? How did it turn out?
Nope.

10. Ever pursued someone, even though they were taken?
Nope.

Sin 2: Gluttony
1. When did you last eat at a restaurant? What restaurant was it?
Hahaha, MAN, it’s been a while. The last time I ate in a restaurant was pre-Covid, so…December 2019? I’ve been in some fast food places to pick up food since then, though.

2. When did you last have fast food? Where did you get it?
Whenever my mom was last up here, we either went to Dairy Queen or McDonald’s. I think it was McDonald’s. If so, I got fries and a cheeseburger.

3. What was the biggest meal you had all day?
I’m currently making my one meal for the day, so nothing so far.

4. Do you have too many clothes? How often do you go shopping?
Oh my GOD I have an issue with clothes. I definitely have too many and buy too many. I can go months without buying anything and then want to buy ALL THE THINGS in the span of like three days.

5. What’s something you have a LOT of?
Clothes.

6. Do you eat a lot?
More than I should.

7. What was the last thing you splurged (spent a lot of money) on?
Do Kinvaras count?

8. What do you spend most of your money on (besides bills and anything necessary like that)?
See above.

9. Last time you ate candy? What was it?
I goddamn love candy, friends. It was a handful of those mini Reese’s cups.

10. Last thing you ate too much of?
Again, see above.

Sin 3: Greed
1. Do you share things? How often?
I share when I can. I’m not often in the position to, though, because a) I have no actual friends to share things with and b) I try to stay away from people in general, so I’m not often given the opportunity.

2. Someone asks you for a piece of your cookie. You break it in half, but the pieces aren’t equal. Who gets the bigger piece?
The other dude.

3. When you see change on the ground, do you pick it up?
Yes. Once I found $50!

4. How often do you lend money to people?
Again, I’m not often asked, but I’d lend it to anyone I trust.

5. Do you loooove money?
Not obsessively, but it’s nice to have!

6. If someone offers to pay for you, do you decline or readily accept?
Depends on who it is, what they’re offering to pay for, and how expensive it is.

7. Which of your friends is the wealthiest?
I don’t have any friends.

8. Would you take a high-paying job that you didn’t really like just for the money and benefits?
That sounds miserable.

9. Ever stole from anyone? What about stole from a store? What happened?
Never intentionally.

10. Do you ever have enough money?
Yes.

Sin 4: Sloth
1. Last thing you procrastinated on?
Some prep stuff for class.

2. When you’re at a strip mall and the next store you want to go to is at the other side, do you drive over there instead of take a short walk?
Walk!

3. What’s a typical day off of school and/or work like for you?
I try to be productive, but I’m usually so burnt out that it’s tough. It’s also been a while since I’ve had a true “day off.”

4. What’s one talent you have that you don’t really work on, even though you have the ability to be good at it?
Anything art-related. I feel like I could get decent at drawing/painting if I just took (or had) the time.

5. How many hours of television do you watch a day?
Like one? Two?

6. What about the amount of time you spend on the internet a day?
HAHAHA a lot.

7. How many hours of sleep do you get a day? Do you sleep in late?
I’m one of those weirdos that doesn’t need too much sleep. Or at least, I’m one of those weirdos who can break up their sleep time into smaller chunks rather than sleep all at once. Four hours seems to be pretty standard, though I can function on three. I have to get up relatively early to walk/run in the mornings.

8. Do you drive to places that are less than three blocks away?
Nope.

9. When was the last time you exercised?
Today!

10. Ever copied and pasted your homework from a website on the internet?
Nope.

Sin 5: Wrath
1. If you could kill one person and get away with it, would you do it?
Nah.

2. Is there anyone you honestly and truly can say that you hate?
Just myself.

3. Is there anyone you want revenge on, whether you want to get them back big-time or just play a little prank on them for hurting your feelings?
Nope.

4. Are you fighting with any friends right now? Why?
Zero friends.

5. Last time you were really angry? What happened?
I’m always angry.
(That’s my secret, Captain)

6. When you’re angry, what do you do to calm yourself down?
I have a really hard time calming down. I have to burn out on the anger in order to calm down.

7. “Hate is just the fear of loving someone.” true or false?
False.

8. What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone?
I have no idea.

9. Was there any hard feelings after your last break-up? On whose end was it on?
Nope! It was mutual and we were still bros afterward.

10. Ever been cheated on? How did that make you feel?
Yes. I kind of figured it was happening as we were apart for a few months, but I tried not to think about it.

Sin 6: Envy
1. Is there anyone you’re jealous of? Name a person and tell us why.
[Are we conflating jealousy and envy on this survey? Really? Alrighty.]
Yes, there is someone I am actively jealous of right now, but I’d rather not go into it.

2. List three physical features some other people have that you’re envious of (no need to get specific and name people; you can just say something like “brown eyes” or “having perfect eyebrows”).
1) hair that is actually manageable, 2) people that actually have room between their lowest ribs and the top of their pelvic bone and thus actually can have a defined waist, 3) people who have a nice face. Even an average face.

3. List three personality features that other people have that you’re envious of.
1) genius, 2) charismatic, and 3) witty

4. Are you a jealous significant other?
To an extent, yes.

5. Could you date someone who was really jealous?
We’d have a jealous-off and probably just murder each other. So no.

6. What celebrity’s looks do you envy the most?
I always thought Michelle Trachtenberg was gorgeous. Scarlett Johansson, too (I love her lips).

7. Do you think anyone is envious of you? In your opinion, what characteristics (physical and mental) do you possess that you think someone might be envious of?
I have nothing others could be envious about except for the “comfortable” things (that is, I’ve got a stable job, I’m not wanting for money, and I’m in a good relationship).

8. What are a few things you wish you were good at?
I wish I was a better writer. A better artist. A better singer.

9. Did you ever date someone, break up, and then see them dating someone very attractive a few days later? Were you jealous of that person?
Nope.

10. When looking at a love interest’s exes, do you often find yourself jealous of their good-looking exes?
I’ve never done this, mainly because I’ve always assumed that said exes were all so much better looking than me anyway and I didn’t want to go down that hellish rabbit hole of comparison.

Sin 7: Pride
1. What’s something you brag about a lot (be honest–we all brag sometimes)?
I probably brag about my walking/running too much.

2. What physical features do you take the most pride in?
Uh…I have nice eyelashes?

4. Be honest… when someone is telling you something, do you often change the subject so it’s about you and your accomplishments instead?
I do this all the time. I think I always assumed this was how you were supposed to show you were interested in what the other person was saying (relay your own story/experience about whatever they were talking about), but now it always sounds super narcissistic to me. I try to make a conscious effort to not make it about me.

5. Do you like talking about your achievements?
It gets awkward.

6. Do your parents tend to brag about how well you came out?
My mom certainly does, haha. Even though I’m not anything like I should be.

7. Do you strive to be better than others? Do you think competing with others is healthy?
I try, but I know I’m worse than everyone else.

8. What do you do better than most people?
Fail, haha.

9. Do you believe in taking pride in things you can’t control (ex. being proud of your heritage, being proud of your skin color, being proud of your natural artistic ability)?
Sure. People are often proud of their families and that’s something you can’t really control, right?

10. Who are you competing with right now (it could be anything–classmates for a grade, co-workers for a position, other girl for a guy, etc.)?
Everyone.