You’re mad, I tell you, MAD!

(Approximately half of this is answered seriously. The other half is answered either nonsensically or hyperbolically. TAKE YOUR BETS ON WHICH ONES FALL INTO WHICH CATEGORY!)

1.] What age is your youngest aunt?
I have absolutely no idea. I barely know how old I am.

2.] Do you miss someone right now?
My mom.

3.] What can you see North West to you?
North West the person?

4.] Do you like bowling?
IT’S GOLFING FOR HANDS

5.] Can you pronounce Italian words?
Not well.

6.] Do you prefer black or beige colored jackets?
Black, if I had to choose between these two options.

7.] Do you own a hoodie?
Who doesn’t?

8.] Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire?
Only if they are eventually being put into s’mores.

9.] Do you like cheesy puffs?
Only if they are eventually being put into s’mores.

10.] What’s your name without vowels?
Cld. It looks Welsh, haha.

11.] How many layers of clothing are you wearing?
What counts as a layer?

12.] When was the last time you got a take away? What did you have?
Uhhhhhhhhhh McDonald’s?

13.] If you could climb any mountain or range which would you choose?
K2: When One K Can’t Cut It

14.] Do you alphabetically arrange anything in your room? What?
No, surprisingly. My books are ordered by height because I’m a monster.

15.] Have you ever visited fat-pie [dot] [com]?
That sounds the shadiest of shades.

16.] Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits?
Fruit blows.

17.] Do you like Flo Rida? Which song of his?
My House is good.

18.] How are your dancing skills?
Lacking.

19.] What is your favorite number?
i

20.] Describe your best friend to me?
Non-existent. Or Sean.

21.] What is your favorite alcoholic drink?
I don’t drink.

22.] Do you do any sports or have you done any sport professionally?
I did T-Ball as a wee lad.

23.] What is your ringtone?
I actually have no idea.

24.] Do you like chilli flavoured chips/crisps?
Ew.

25.] Do you curl or straighten your hair?
Ew.

26.] What’s the nicest smell of shampoo?
FUCK OFF

27.] What smell turns you on? How about turns you off?
FUCK RIGHT THE HELL OFF

28.] Who’s your favorite comedian?
Brian Regan.

29.] RnB or Reggae?
RnB.

30.] What brand of batteries do you usually get?
Whatever ones make the electronics go blingy-blingy and activate the happy chemicals.

31.] Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids?  
I don’t have any friends.

32.] What is in your medicine cabinet?
I don’t have any medicine cabinets.

33.] What’s your favorite aspect of the natural world?  
ORGANIC LIFE

34.] What’s your favorite man made thing?  
Pitas

35.] Can you whistle properly?  
How do you whistle unproperly?

36.] What song do you think is the most widely heard in the world?  
Happy Birthday and its variants?

37.] Where’s the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located?
There’s a McDonald’s on Mars (isn’t that a song? If it’s not, it should be)

38.] What states surround your state? Or are you not land locked?
HA, joke’s on you, I’m not even in a state.
Except in a state of constant panic.

39.] Do you own binoculars or monoculars? What do you use them for?  
I do not.

40.] Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze?  
Eh.

41.] What’s your favorite chocolate bar?  
Mr. Goodbar.

42.] Do you fall asleep easy in cars? How about planes, trains and boats? 
If there is the slightest motion, I’m asleep instantly. Ask Nate.
Or I’m puking, one of the two.

43.] Would you rather live a year of your life in every major country or stay in the same place you live forever without vacations?
Same place forever, please.

44.] What will you not tolerate in a person?  
Hating cats. Don’t like them? Then I don’t like you.

46.] How was God made, if he exists?
Maybe god is the universe.

47.] Have you ever done aqua aerobics or polo?  
Nope.

48.] What age were you when you learned how to swim?
I have no idea.

49.] What shows or characters scared you as a child?
That freaking red thing that chased Bugs Bunny around. Gossamer. Jesus Christ.

50.] Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am?  
I stay up most of the night.

51.] What’s something unusual currently in your fridge?  
A head.
Of cauliflower.

52.] How about your freezer?
A head.
OF MY ENEMY.

53.] What could you be doing now that is more productive?  
HAHAHAH ANYTHING

54.] Give me some lyrics from the song that’s stuck in your head?
I’ve got freaking Happy Birthday in my head now, THANKS, SURVEY

55.] What’s your favorite type of firework?
The ones…that…go boom?