Today was ASS and I must cleanse my soul with a survey.

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen?
“Earthlings.” I still have nightmares.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t?
MAN WE’RE NOT GOING THERE TODAY, OKAY? Evil Grandma is dead and must remain dead in my mind as well.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base?
Swifties can be…scary.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t?
The history of calculus.

If you were given a PhD degree, but had no more knowledge of the subject of the degree besides what you have now, what degree would you want to be given to you?
But…but I want the knowledge.

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement?
I’d like there to be some way for the facial recognition thingy to recognize you with a mask on. Or at least make it so that if it detects a mask, it automatically goes to the passcode option to unlock your phone.

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis?
I don’t quote a lot of movies out loud, but phrases from Mystery Men pop into my head more frequently than you’d think they should.

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents?
Worse. We’ve murdered the planet and they’re going to get the brunt of it. It’s too bad people don’t realize that because they KEEP POOPING OUT KIDS

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart?
I can recite huge swaths of Brian Regan’s stand-up, so anything from him.

When was the last time you felt you had a new lease on life?
Maybe when I moved up here to Calgary?

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having?
Erik Erikson’s got to be up there.

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money?
Any charity that deals with animals. Especially cats.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?
Everything from my childhood is cool now. Nostalgia bait is a thing, especially for my generation.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do?
Ew, I wouldn’t want to possess anyone.

What game have you spent the most hours playing?
Either Quake or Half Life. The Sims is up there, too.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in?
Nate’s parents had this SUPER SOFT mattress on their bed in the basement of their old house. You’d lay on it and it would just envelope you.

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation?
Coldplay!

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose?
I’d love to see the Parthenon. Does that count?

If animals could talk, which animal would be the most annoying?
HUMAN!

What’s the most addicted to a game you’ve ever been?
I was SUPER into modding The Sims back when I first started college. I would spend hours downloading new skins, textures, general game mods, etc. and then only play for like five minutes, haha.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been?
There was that time I went walking in -22 weather (plus wind chill) and I got superficial frostbite on my nose. I had to go into the one open public bathroom and shiver for about half an hour before I felt like I could keep going.
Or that time I was so cold that I thought my toe fell off in my shoe due to frostbite and I didn’t know what to do other than keep going, as it wasn’t going to fall off any further, haha.
Maybe those were the same walk, I can’t remember.

Which protagonist from a book or movie would make the worst roommate?
Augie March.

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine?
I try not to, seeing as I can’t smell, but I’m far less careful with expiration dates than said lack of smell would suggest.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten?
Probably my breakfasts during my time at UBC. I’d get a frozen Eggo waffle and put it in a baggie. By the time I got to campus it was mostly thawed and I’d just eat it then.

What’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?
Blackfish was interesting.

What was the last song you sang along to?
Peace of Mind!

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up?
We’re not going there today, either.