I’m cold and bored, LEAVE ME ALONE

1. What is a normal thing that took you an embarrassingly long time to learn?
I don’t know if this counts at all since it’s not really something you “learn,” but it took me a long time to understand what a lot of people in movies were actually saying when they spoke. This was especially true in Disney movies. I focused much more on the intonations and “sing-songiness” of peoples’ voices and phrases and not really much on the actual words they said. Even today when I watch movies I first saw as a little kid, the memories of the “song” of the speech comes back to my memory much quicker than the actual words.

Maybe a more appropriate answer to this one would be the fact that it took me quite a long time to learn that sounds like “th” and “ch” and “sh” did not have their own letter of the alphabet but instead were comprised of multiple letters. I remember sitting in kindergarten trying to spell the word “chair” and freaking out because I couldn’t figure out which of the 26 letters in the alphabet made the “ch” sound.

2. In what ways are you old-fashioned?
Ways that would probably make me enemy #1 for some of my friends, so I won’t mention them. Don’t worry, I’m not a closet republican or anything like that. I’ve just got some old-fashioned views about a few sensitive subjects that I’d rather not express.

3. What is the best sandwich you’ve ever eaten? Where did you get it? What made it so delicious?
My mom’s grilled cheese. I got it from my mom. It’s delicious ‘cause of mom.
(It’s Colby-Jack cheese on potato bread. Try it. It’s so much better than your standard American cheese on white bread.)

4. What are you currently not bragging about that you should totally brag about?
The fact that I walked 5,100 miles last year. Because, you know, I haven’t mentioned that in the last five minutes.

5. What food have you never tasted and are most interested in trying?
None. None foods. I don’t like new things, they’re scary.

6. What history facts were you surprised to learn because it was never covered in school?
Pretty much any math facts or facts about those who came up with mathematical techniques and theorems. I think I would have enjoyed math more if we had gotten some human context to it, you know?

7. What is something that you waited entirely too long to start or stop doing? What made you say “Why did I wait so long?”
Walking for pleasure/exercise/the sake of my sanity. I used to shun it and thought it was boring. Now it’s my life.

8. What socially expected thing do you hate doing the most?
All this germophobe garbage. “Don’t touch the dirt!” “Sanitize everything!” “Ew you touched a worm that’s gross so many germs better saw off your fingers so you don’t get C O N T A M I N A T E D!!!!!1” This is why the superbugs will win.

10. What do you miss most about childhood?
Having so much time and potential ahead of me to do things right. Too bad I screwed it all up.

11. What “fact” did you learn in school that is not true or no longer true?
Christopher Columbus is a planet and Pluto discovered America.

12. What’s your favorite piece of useless trivia?
The kilogram is the only SI unit that is still defined by a physical object rather than by a physical constant. The kilogram, “Le Grand K,” is a platinum alloy cylinder stored in France.

13. What’s your best go to homemade “lazy” meal
Handfuls of shredded cheese straight from the bag. You’re not an adult until you’ve snarfed down half a cup of cheese while watching Vine compilations on YouTube.

Actually, my typical “lazy” meal is “pass out on the couch and forget to eat.” That happens more frequently than I’d like to admit

14. What’s the title of this current chapter in your life?
“LOL You’re a Still A Failure”

15. What is a habit or practice that you learned from your childhood that you didn’t realize was “weird” until you were an adult?|
Uh…let’s not talk about that one. It’s private.

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