So today sucked royally and I have nothing I want to say about it. So you get this nonsensically-answered survey. Deal.

This survey is entitled: “I’m sleep deprived and want to die”

1: What do you put on hotdogs?
More hotdogs!

2: Do you say “anticlimatic” or “anticlimactic”?
Antiderivative!

3: Do you check flyers before grocery shopping?
I used to in Van. I don’t here.

4: Blue, black, or some other colour pen ink?
RED LIKE BLOOD HAHAHAHAHAHA

5: Do you use your parking brake?
If I had a car I would.

6: Look to your left. How many framed pictures are on the wall?
None.

7: Do you know how to play chess?
No, unfortunately.

8: How often do you clean the interior of your car?
No vehicle for Claudia!

9: Do you ever read the last few pages first?
Dude, I just accidentally typed “Cclaudia” for the last question. That looks so cool.

10: Ever fallen in the shower?
HAHAHA I read that as “have you ever fallen for the shower?”
…the answer would still be “yes.”

11: On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to swear at other drivers?
Infinity.

12: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?
I try not to call people I care about hurtful things.

13: Do you have a Snuggie?
Nope.

14: Are you allergic to anything?
Wednesdays.

15: Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
Futurama. Metalocalypse.

16: How many times do you hit the snooze button before finally getting out of bed?
Snooze is for LOSERS!

17: Ever driven away in anger?
Nope.

18: What’s your favourite freezie colour?
Freezie? You mean Otter Pop? I LOVE OTTER POPS! The blue ones are the best.

19: Are you a vegetarian?
I EAT SOULS

20: Do you have a garbage receptacle beside you? What’s on top?
I don’t. I have a couch.

21: Do you cross out your mistakes or erase/whiteout them?
Erase. Unless I’m writing in pen, of course.

23: Do you think that things will get better?
I really hope so.

24: Do you have an unpopular opinion? What is it?
Yes, and I’m not telling.

26: Did you/are you going to go to prom?
I did indeed go to prom.

27: What’s the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
I haven’t really experienced much physical pain.

28: What’s the most emotionally/mentally painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
Grad school.

29: Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?
Nopers.

30: What’s your favourite book genre?
Does “classic” count? If not, then I guess historical fiction.

31: Did you like “Gigli”? Be honest.
Never saw it.

32: Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?
Isn’t that the traditional first step to get back home?

33: Do you peek between your fingers during the scary scenes?
Who said I hide behind them? YOU CALLIN’ ME A COWARD?!

34: What was your reaction to Tatum getting killed whilst stuck in the pet door in Scream?
That sounds disturbing.

35: Do dogs like you?
Haha. No.

36: Would you say that you project an air of authority?
I seriously doubt it.

37: Do people listen when you speak?
I like to think the listen when I teach.

38: How are your elbows? Are they okay?
They’re touched that you would ask their current state.

39: What is one thing that you do exceptionally well? Be honest.
Fail.

40: What historical figure would you like to have sex with?
Leibniz. INTEGRATION BY PARTS okay I’ll stop.

41: When was the last time you paid for music?
1976.

42: Are you addicted to technology?
Oh dear, yes.

43: Pick a person (you don’t need to give their name). How do you feel about them? Be as honest as you can get yourself to be.
I love ’em.

45: How heavily to you rely on spellcheck and autocorrect?
Neverr! I’im a prefect speller!

46: Have you ever gotten into an argument on the internet? Did you win?
Yes and yes.

47: Do you pause movies/TV shows if you have to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, or do you just let them keep playing?
I just keep them playing. If it’s TV I just go during the commercials; if it’s a movie I’ve probably already got it memorized, so missing a few minutes is no big deal.

48: If you use a regular alarm clock, do you have it set to music or that obnoxious beeping?
The beeps, THE BEEPS!

49: Peter Pan?
Wendy?

50: How often do you fall up the stairs?
I don’ t think I’ve ever done that, as uncoordinated as I am.

51: Do you pronounce “anti” as ant-eye or ant-ee? (Example: “That scene was very anticlimactic.”)
Ant-eye.

52: Do you pronounce “via” as vee-uh or vie-uh? (Example: “We can get there via Tremont Street.”)
Vee-uh.

53: How often do you forget to close your parentheses?
NEVER! (Well, almost never (ha you see what I did there (oh god it doesn’t stop (FOR THE LOVE OF JEEBUS MAKE IT STOP