Today entailed driving across South Dakota and part of Minnesota.

Riveting, eh?

We also crossed into Central Time and thus my schedule is all crazed out. It’s technically 10:27 PM as of my writing of this, but it feels either way earlier or way later (can’t tell). So my answer to this problem?

A survey, of course!

1801. How many smurfs can you name?
Papa, Smurfette, Brainy…Grouchy? Is there a Grouchy Smurf? Hahaha, there should be a Grue Smurf that’s like a figment of the imagination of half the smurfs while the other half don’t ever see him. That would be fantastic.
Anyway.

1802. Do you keep track of your life using a planner or calendar book? Would you be lost without it?
I surprisingly don’t use a planner. I keep it all in my head.

1803. Have you ever fully eradicated a bad habit that you had?
I’m working on that.

1804. Where do snowflakes come from?
God forgot to buy Head and Shoulders at Walmart last time he went.

1805. What do these latin phrases mean?
Et tu Brute: “You too, Brutus?”
Congito ergo sum: “I think, therefore I am.”

1806. You’re writing a story.
The super hot (guy or girl?): Giraffe
is about to kiss (who): the lead singer of Kiss
Just then they get interrupted by (what): Old Faithful
and somebody screams, (what): “GEYSER HO!”
but it is too late. Fortunately (who): Dr. Phil
walks by and (what): does a jig
and they all live (how): surprisingly adjusted (for a giraffe and a rock star) in Yellowstone National Park
ever after.

1807. The radio is playing U2, The Defects, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Pointer Sisters, Staubkind, and Dr. Dre. on different stations. Which band are you most likely to listen to?
Pointer Sisters!

1808. How do you feel about the tsunami that killed over 100,000 people in December 2004?
I remember that. I did a piece of art regarding it.

1809. What is the difference between madness and brilliance?
Not very much.

1810. Write any random sentance here:
“any random sentance [sic] here”

1811. Say the sentence you wrote out loud. Did anybody answer?
Nope.

1812. Turn on your TV if it’s not on already, what channel is it?
I’m not sure what channel this is. Lifetime, my mom said.

1813. If you were to hit redial on your phone right now, who would it call?
Sean!

1814. Hit edit paste on your browser and paste the last thing you copied here:
Haha, not going to, ‘cause it’ll duplicate the survey.

815. Miracle on 34th street, original or remake?
I never saw the original.

1816. Have you ever been in a parade?
Marching band FTW.

1817. Why don’t people just walk up to each other and become friends?
I think that would creep people out too much nowadays.

1818. Do you turn the base up all the way in your car (or would you if you had acar) and blast the music?
If by “base” you mean “bass,” no, I don’t crank it all the way ‘cause it hurts my ears.

1819. Do you care if what you do annoys others?
Yes. Most of the time.

1820. What keeps you from being happy?
Myself.

1821. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself five years ago what would you say to yourself(You can only stay in the past for FIVE MINUTES so make it COUNT!)?
For the love of all things holy, DON’T GO TO GRAD SCHOOL I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH CAN’T YOU SEE HOW I’M NOT USING PROPER PUNCTUATION AND HOW EVERYTHING IS IN CAPS LOCK IF NOT I’LL SAY IT AGAIN DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T DON’T GO TO GRAD SCHOOL YOU SILLY FOOL!!!!! (I would repeat this for the whole five minutes)

1822. Write a surreal (Having an oddly dreamlike quality) sentence:
“GAVAGAI!”

1823. Can you talk for one hour without using the word ‘like’?
Yup.

1824. Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.

1825. Say something nice about:
yourself: no.
me: you’re my hero for writing this survey.
your dad: you help me out financially a LOT, and it’s appreciated.
your mom: I love you more than any other human being ever. That includes Leibniz, so you know it’s serious business.
the one you love: you’re such a gentle, compassionate person, dude. If the whole world were more like you, life would be better for everyone.

1826. Questions from random movies:
Why is it that a fly can’t bird but a bird can fly?
Because fortunately the internet has yet to turn “bird” into a verb.
You know what people are liking at night?
Is this from the Facebook movie? It sounds like a quote from the Facebook movie.

1827. What is your favorite movie that Denzel Washington has been in?
I have no idea.

1828. What websites are addictive to you?
WordPress. NaNoWriMo. xkcd.

1829. Who do you love so much that you would clean live maggots out of their garbage pail just so that they didn’t have to?
Haha, I’d pretty much do that for anyone.

1830. Who do you think will read all 5,000 of your answers to this survey?
I wouldn’t be surprised if my readers skipped these entries, honestly.

1831. Out of everyone reading your diary, how many people know your first name?
All of them, if they pay attention.

1832. When you die and your tragic story is a human interest spot on the news will you want your friends and family to say you were the greatest smartest and kindest person ever…or tell the truth?
Tell the truth.

1833. Have you filled out an organ donor card?
Yes.

1834. Who do you never want to end up like?
Someone who shall not be named.

1835. How many oxymorons can you think of?
A fair number.

1836. How many years old is your diary?
A bit over five years.

1837. How could today get any worse?
My M&Ms could suddenly disappear.

1838. What will you never ever do again?
Go to Vancouver.

1839. What’s the most terrible lie someone could tell you?
They could lie to me about how they perceive me, I guess.

1840. Would you ever wear vinyl pants?
Hell yes.

1841. What was the last thing that you printed out?
My funding info for Western.

1842. What would you say to Flavor Flav if you saw him walking down the street?
Who?

1843. What are you dependant on?
The internet. Haha, sad day, isn’t it?

1844. What do you look forward to each day?
Thinking. Music.

1845. What did you think of the Columbine shootings?
I barely remember that. I was in 5th grade at the time.

1846. Did you take lessons as a kid? what?
Piano lessons, yes. I hated them.

1847. What’s the best song to listen to after a break up?
Haha, mine was “Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon.

1848. The radio is playing Poison, Inxs, the Psychadelic Furs, Dio, and Matchbox 20 on different stations. What do you listen to?
I’ve only ever heard of Matchbox 20.

1849. Do you know what it’s like to take care of someone else?
Yup.

1850. Would you rather take care of someone or be taken care of?
Take care of someone else.

1851. What is the worst 80’s song in your opinion?
Not sure, haven’t listened to all the 80’s songs.

1852. What song makes you so happy that just want to dance and dance and DANCE?
Factor analysis. I am so not kidding.

1853. What has been your most beautiful magical memorable cloud nine manic ecstatic incredibly happy bouncy air-light moment of this life???
This is ridiculously pathetic, but it was when I saw my final grades in the fall of 2008 and realized I’d finished college with a 4.0.

1854. According to Depeche Mode, “Everything counts in large amounts.” According to the Crow, “Nothing is trivial.” Do you believe this is true?
Yes.

1855. Are you enjoying this thrilling luscious roller coaster ride of a life as much as I am?
I think my little safety bar is broken.

1856. Do you know how improbable it is that life exists at all?
Life is a pretty fantastic thing.

1857. Are you kind to strangers?
Yes.

1858. Do you go out of your way for other people?
Unless I’m in a hurry/rush, yes.

1859. Make a promise:
I promise to try to be a good person.

1860. Will you keep it?
I’ll certainly try.

1861. What do you think of the author of this survey?
I think he or she is pretty awesome.
What’s my gender?
Female?
What’s my age?
Late teens, perhaps?
What bands do I like(you must have SOME idea by now)?
You seem to like a lot of contemporary stuff, but stuff that’s not necessarily too mainstream.

1862. What makes something “literature”? Also, what makes something “art?”
Things become “art” if they’re appreciated by at least one person (or the artist), in my opinion. I think “literature” is  a bit more of an objective label; it takes the opinion of more than one person to say that something deserves the “literature” label.

1863. Why are you even doing this survey?? Doesn’t it TELL you something that you have NOTHING BETTER TO DO than fill out a 5,000 question survey???
I like surveys. I DO have better things to do, but this is enjoyable, so why not do it?

1864. Has answering these questions been a learning experience for you (writing them certainly has been for me)?
I’m surprised there are enough unique questions to answer, actually.

1865. Have you ever been so happy you could cry?
Yup. Several times.

1866. Do you know that the one you love is the one you will spend the rest of your life with??
I seriously doubt I’ll spend the rest of my life with this person, but things change. Who knows.

1867. Have you ever asked yourself, ‘Is there any more to life than this?’
All the time.

1868. What did you answer yourself?
The good ol’ cliché: “life is what you make of it.”

1869. Do you let the restrictions of society restrain you?
BAH.

1870. Or are you just too full of life to be stopped??
I’m full of craziness and Red Bulls.

1871. We are spinning on a bright blue bulb that is bursting with life. How could you possibly feel alone?
It’s surprisingly easy sometimes.

1872. Is there something you’d like to try?
There are lots of things I’d like to try. I’d most like to try to get a book published, but who knows.

1873. What makes your heart smile and your skin get all tingly-ish?
Statistics.

1874. How long has it been since you danced the night away?
Way too long. Dancing = win.

1875. Are you willing to do EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to get the most out of life?
Sometimes. Other days I just want to play Fallout till my eyes bleed.

1876. Are you willing to give the very best most beautiful part of yourself to the world?
Meh.

1877. Is there love in your heart?
Indeed.

1878. Do things tend to go your way more often when you’re happy?
No, actually, it’s quite the opposite.

1879. What do you do while everyone sleeps?
Haha, that’s usually when I’m at my most active.

1880. What is one thing you will you never ever ever get any more of?
Seconds of my life. They’re ticking down, my friends.

1881. What’s your favorite short story?
I’m not sure, actually. I really like The Death of Ivan Ilych, but that’s not very “short,” haha.

1882. Have do you feel about beauty pageants?
I think they’re creepy when they’re done with kids, but if adults want to partake, hey, whatever makes them happy.

1883. If it ain’t broke (say anything but ‘don’t fix it’):
It ain’t from the U of I.

1884. What is your favorite DIY related website?
No idea. I’m not much into DIY.

1885. Do you bruise easily?
I never used to, but I do now.

1886. In William Shakespeare’s play, “All’s Well That Ends Well,” the character Parolles makes an interesting speech about virginity, saying that “Virginity by being once lost may be ten times found; by being ever kept, it is ever lost…To speak on the part of virginity is to accuse your mothers; which is most infallible disobedience…virginity murders itself; and should be buried in highways, out of all sanctified limit, as a desperate offendress against nature. Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese; consumes itself to the very paring, and so dies with feeding his own stomach. Besides, virginity is peevish, proud, idle, made of self-love, which is the most inhibited sin in the canon. Keep it not; you cannot choose but lose by’t…” What do you think of this?
I disagree. It’s a view of virginity as a selfish act, while I think maintaining virginity can be a very selfless choice.

1887. Would you prefer to stay in a motel, hotel, inn, lodge, or resort?
Hotel.

1888. Have you ever gone scuba diving?
Nope.

1889. What kind of bread do you like?
The kind with a bunch of seeds in it.

1890. Do you usually behave the way you want to?
Eh…mostly.

1891. How does the idea in your head of what you want to be like match up to the reality of what you are like?
Not very well, unfortunately. I suck.

1892. Do you realize that in 111 questions this survey will have more questions than there have been years since Christ was born?
Old survey is old.

1893. Are your air and water as pure as you want them to be?
Sure. No complaints.

1894. Would you ever visit an insect zoo?
That’d be pretty cool, actually.

1895. Can you enjoy life without stimulants (coffee, ciggarettes, drugs, alcohol)?
I need my M&Ms, if they count. And Red Bull on occasion.

1896. How many hours do you sleep every night?
Four or five.

1897. Is this survey your friday or saturday night date?
Well, it IS Saturday…

1898. I go crazy when I’m without _______.
Something to think about.

1899. Can you do the robot dance?
Haha, nope.

1900. How much thought do you put into your dance moves?
A fair amount. Enough so that I’m not a total spaz.

1901. Are you able to recognize patterns, habits, routines and break out of them?
Why in the world would I ever want to break out of a routine?