According to Web MD’s symptom checker, I could have one or more of the following:

– Schizophrenia
– Depression
– Postpartum depression
– Generalized anxiety disorder
– Epilepsy
– Hyperthyroidism
– Acute stress reaction
– PMS
– Bipolar disorder
– Hypoglycemia
– Cocaine abuse
– Dementia
– Grief reaction
– Heartburn
– Excessive caffeine use

Lawl. Mental issues. I don’t know where the epilepsy came from…I didn’t click on each individual illness to see which symptoms I checked applied. They nailed me with the cocaine abuse, though.