Random blog about Twilight ‘cause I heard some people talking about it at the rec center.

I admit that I want to read at least the first book (or at most the first book…from what I’ve heard I’d probably shoot myself if I had to read more than one of them), mainly because it’s such an anti-intellectual dumping ground of stupidity, stalking, dependency, and just overall “what the fuck is this?” that reading it would probably be pretty hilarious.

I watched the first movie on Netflix last summer to see what exactly everyone was adoring/hating. I couldn’t catch if there was a plot or not ‘cause it moved at the pace of a semi-paralyzed snail trying to crawl through molasses, so by the time Edward had taken off his shirt and sparkled like a glitter factory I was half asleep. The only “action” came in like the last fifteen minutes, I’m not even kidding. The rest played out like an instructional video of how to properly stalk in teenage relationships.

I’d like to know what makes people go freak-crazy over Twilight. I remember discussing it briefly at one of our little grad school get-togethers and a few of the ladies were like “oh my god, are we talking about Edward?! HE’S SO FREAKING HAWT!” and it was at that time that I realized that Twilight was essentially like some sort of literary plague.

And that’s pretty freaking depressing. What happened to the desire to read good literature? How is Candide, which is FORTY THOUSAND TIMES AS EXCITING as an emo vampire and his dull girlfriend, not going viral?

Bah.

Today’s song: Cobrastyle by Robyn