LOOK WHAT I DID.

Give me a break, I feel like crap.

Ultimate Survey (I’VE SEEN LONGER, OH YES I HAVE)
time started: 11:51 PM.
full name: Dr. Farty McFartFart.
nickname(s): Steve.
birthday: February 2.
where were you born: Moscow.
zodiac sign: Aquarius.
height: I will beat the crap out of you.
weight: I have no idea. I had a scale at the beginning of the year, but I dissected it to see how it worked.
hair color: BLACKER THAN THE BLACKEST BLACK TIMES INFINITY
eye color: Greenish hazel
shoe size: 6
ring size: 7? I dunno, I don’t wear rings.
skin type (freckles, tan, albino, etc.): White as hell.
blood type: O-
grade: Um…second year MA?
GPA: Somewhere between a 3.98 and a 4.0 (too lazy to recalculate since grad school grades have happened)
siblings: NEGATORY
tattoos: NEGATORY
piercings: OVER 9,000
hobbies: statistics, philosophy, living in the twisted little world in my head, drawing, thinking, blogging, answering surveys in all caps
color: ORANGE (see?)
food: Pasta
candy: M&M’s
type of cheese: Feta
pizza topping: Olives
salad dressing: Caesar
sandwich: tuna from Subway!
cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
fruit: Apples?
vegetable: Broccoli or carrots.
berry: Raspberry
cake: German chocolate
book: The Caine Mutiny is still holding top spot.
movie: Apollo 13 rocks.
magazine: Mental Floss is pretty rad.
newspaper: BAH.
tv show: Metalocalypse!
website: Wiki is fantastic.
radio station: I listened to the Vancouver opera station when I studied for calc…
font: Times New Motherfucking ROMAN.
cartoon character: Tough one…
artist (painter): Escher
actor: Don’t have one.
actress: Don’t have one.
cd: I haven’t bought an entire CD in a LONG time…though I can listen to Deep Forest’s CDs straight through with no problem.
song: If you people don’t know the answer to this one, you don’t pay attention when I talk.
music group: Battles is great, just because they’re snazzy.
music type: Electronica
day of the week: Tuesday
month: Not October. Fuck October.
season: Summer.
holiday: Christmas
shampoo: Herbal Essence
conditioner: See above.
number: 11
phrase: “Oh crap!”
store: Goodwill. I MISS Goodwill.
weather: Anything but rain. Seriously.
restaurant: Shari’s. I MISS Shari’s.
channel: I don’t have cable.
teacher: DR. O’ROURKE! Oh yes.
weekend activity: Lately it’s been studying for calculus, but now I don’t know what it will be.
hangout: My apartment?
house color: Orange never fails.
sport to watch: PFFT.
sport to play: Again, I say “PFFT.”
animal: Elephants are snazzy.
flower: Sunflowers? I’m not much of a flower person.
board game: Scrabble.
party game: Hahaha, Apples to Apples.
story from childhood: A Fly Went By!
body part: Stomach. :D

HAVE YOU EVER:
been on a train: Indeed.
been on a plane: Ahoy.
been in a car accident: A small one.
caused a car accident: Nope.
run into a wall: Probably.
burned a potato chip: I don’t like potato chips
almost burned the house down: Hahaha, yeah.
smoked: Nope
been drunk: Nah.
broken the law: Nudity is NATURAL and SHOULD BE SUPPORTED BY CONGRESS
kissed someone of the opposite sex: Indeed.
kissed someone of the same sex: Nnnnno? I don’t think so.
made out: Hahaha, I miss that.
gotten engaged: Pfft, like that will ever happen.
had an online relationship: Nope.
been rejected by a crush: Welcome to my universe.
loved: Very much so.
made yourself cry to get out of trouble: People think I do this, but I don’t mean to cry all the time.
cried in public: Do you know me?
cried over a movie: Maybe a little.
fallen asleep in a movie theater: Nope.
given someone a bath: No.
been to a boarding school: I almost did for high school.
been home-schooled: Nope.
lost a valuable item: I hope that bastard that stole the iPod I got from my mom got bitch-slapped by Karma.
bungee jumped: No and I wouldn’t.
skied: Nope.
met the president: No, but my flight from LA was delayed by like half an hour ‘cause Air Force One was taking off and apparently needed all the runways to do so.
met a celebrity: I met Dan O’Brien, does he count?
gotten a cavity: Nope.
shopped at abercrombie & fitch: Haha, no.
made a prank call: Nope.
skipped school: Nope.
faked sick to get out of school: I did that on Valentine’s Day once. I was an emo little thing.
climbed a tree: Yes indeed.
fallen from a tree: Surprisingly not.
broken a bone: Nope.
sprained anything: Nope.
passed out: Haha, yup.
made yourself pass out: No
been to disney world: No
been to a theme park (not disney): No?
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative): Indeed.
made a model volcano (working model): Haha, that was the same night I almost burned the house down.
made a clover leaf with your tongue: Say what?

PAST
what did you do yesterday: Took my calc final and had a panic attack. Unfortunately, these were not mutually exclusive incidents.
memory you miss the most: There are a few.
memory you want to forget: My entire time going out with Rob.
something you regretted after it was done: Hahahaha, see above. I regret how it ended more, though, for reasons that will remain unsaid.

THE LAST
song you heard: Blow Up by Gooseflesh is playing right now.
cd you bought: Hell if I know.
thing you said: “Goodnight.”
time you cried: Yesterday night.
movie seen in a theater: Watchmen?
thing you ate: A Rice Krispy square.
person who called: My mom.
nail polish shade worn: TEAL! Surprising, eh?
time you showered: about six hours ago.
person who complimented you: Pfft.

AT THIS MOMENT
what are you listening to: Music
what are you wearing: Too many clothes for this hour.
what are you thinking: “Who wants some FUCKING NESQUIK!?”
what are you scared of most: Failure. My mental state.
how many people are on your buddy list: Like MSN? 36, though I talk to about 4 of them.
future
occupation: Statistician!!!! Oh please, oh please…
marriage site: Not planning on marrying anyone.
honeymoon: Flatland.
place to live: Antarctica? Can I be a statistician in Antarctica? CRAZIER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.
kids: Kids suck.
car: I like VWs.
what are you doing tomorrow: Going to campus, attempt to be sane.
will there be a WWIII: Likely.
will politics ever be truthful: Unlikely.
will humanity snuff itself out: We can only hope.
can the gov. be changed: I’m in Canada. I don’t know a thing about their government except they like taxing stuff.

FRIENDS
best friend: I  have a few.
closest friend: Physically? I actually think I live closest to Michael.
funniest: Nick.
silliest: Nick.
loudest: Sean’s pretty loud.
quietest: Kharah?
craziest: Aaron, holy crap.
calmest: I don’t think any of my friends are particularly calm.
skinniest: Meanne?
best secret keeper: No idea.
worst secret keeper: Again…
smartest: They’re all smart in their weird little ways.
hottest: Oh, we all know the answer to this one…
weirdest: Hahaha, Lanky.
biggest pervert: Can I just say the Marching Band?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
heaven: Nah
hell: Nope
angels: No
devil: Negatory
god: Nope
buddha: I believe the Buddha existed…
aliens: Sure
ghosts: Why not?
spirit (soul): These questions are reminding me that I’m across the street from a giant cemetery.
soulmates: Meh.
reincarnation: Sorta
love at first sight: Nah
karma: Yes
love in general: Sure
luck: Sorta
yourself: BAH

CRUSH
who and when was your first crush: That bastard of a fart, Patrick. That all started back in 5^th grade.
any now: Nope.
a celebrity crush: LEIBNIZ TOTALLY COUNTS
who do you want to be with right now: My psycho awesome friends in Moscow.
whos number do you want: No one’s, phones suck.
who do you want to kiss: :D
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex: Why do they have to wear pants?
if you could go on a date with anybody, who would it be: Leibniz. I mean, come ON.
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you: 7? I’m shy.
first thing noticed about the opposite sex: Probably hair.
what do you look for personality-wise: People who aren’t assholes. So essentially the anti-Robs.
biggest turn on: Open-mindedness. Or pudginess, if we’re going for the physical.
biggest turn off: People who are too judgmental. Everybody’s different, so shut the hell up.
something they wear that turns you on: Nothing. ;)
something they wear that turns you off: Nothing I can think of.
the most romantic thing you want to happen to you: Haha, I am not sure.
the most romantic thing that has happened to you: Aaron was super romantic a few times.
what do you wear on a coffee date: haha, I only went on one “coffee date,” and I didn’t drink any coffee, and Sean laughed at me. I don’t remember what I wore.
is cyber cheating: Only if it’s not on Omegle.
are eyes the passageway to the soul: I thought the butt was?
who would you like to take to the prom: Prom sucked.
do you want to hug somebody right now: Oh yes.
do you know what an aphrodisiac is: Indeed.

DESCRIBE
mellow: Yellow
melancholy: I used to think this was a disease.
the perfect date: We’ll see when it happens.
the perfect mate: Someone with whom the conversation never dulls (and when it does, we take our clothes off and dance around), someone who will let me take care of them, someone who will be themselves, someone who won’t be jealous of my Leibniz obsession. Bonus points if they know R.
why manhole covers are round: ‘Cause they can’t fall in the hole that way.

ONE OR THE OTHER
coke/pepsi: NEITHER
sprite/7-up: Ew
boxers/briefs: Briefs
gold/silver: Silver
vanilla/chocolate: Vanilla
flowers/candy: CANDAY
book/magazine: Book
tv/radio: TV
glass half empty/half full: Philosophy!
democrat/republican: Dem
colored pencils/markers: Colored pencils
coffee/tea: Tea, but only green tea
sun/moon: Sun
day/night: Day
hot/cold: Hot
dog/cat: Cat
button/zipper: Button
cotton/feather pillow: Cotton
blue/purple: Blue
plumber/trashman: Trashman
jeans/shorts: Ew, neither
long distance relationship/none: Long distance
mechanical/regular pencil: Regular
romantic comedy/thriller: Thriller
nsync/bsb: Nsync, bitches!
peanut butter/jelly: Peanut butter
waffles/pancakes: Waffles
letter/email: Email
florida/california: California
pizza/burgers: Depends on what type
hat/visor: Hat
football/rugby: Rugby
iceskating/blading: Iceskating

FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR:
yellow: Submarine
red lipstick: BOOBIES
socks: Sexy
cowtipping: Hahaha, high school
moulin rouge: Que?
greenland: Iceland
iceland: OH SHIT! GREENLAND!
harry potter: Blah
red: Ruby
blackberry: Blueberry
rose: Posey
rooster: chickens!
taxes: Refund
bill clinton: Sax (no, not sex…)
whipped cream: SEXY PARTY TIME!
george w. bush: Oh god
lollipops: Mika
dreams: REM
love: Happies
boy bands: Haha, childhood
penguins: Macaroni
thong: Ew
death: Dark
spoons: Spooning
junk mail: Delete
dairy: Awesome
your father: Drew Carey
pizza: Yay
vitamin: B12!

are you
happy: Sometimes
sad: Sometimes
religious: Nope
crazy: Probably
messy: Negatory
mad: I probably get more mad than sad nowadays
slacker: In some respects
nerd: Probably
bookworm: Oh yes
jock: Nope
preppy: Nope
selfish: Sometimes, unfortunately
giving: I certainly try
obsessive: Hahaha
violent: No
calm: Pfft.
peaceful: Rarely
mellow: These words are getting anti-Claudia
eccentric: Oh wait, never mind.
caring: I try to be
untrustworthy: Maybe?
loyal: I try
patriotic: Yup. I miss the States
perverted: Hahaha
colorful: HAHAHA
artistic: I wish

miscellaneous
what color is your jacket: Black and powder blue
do you shave: Indeed
where: MANLY PLACES
what color is your razor: Pink
what size is your bed: Twin
what color crayon would you be: Radical Carrot
what are the last four digits of you phone number: Hell if I know
feelings on abortion: Pro choice
how long does it take you to shower: 10 minutes?
what does your screenname mean: On MySpace? It’s my name.
is cussing a necessity in life: I quite enjoy it.
how about coffee: Ew.
is the world screwed: Probably
what something you cant live without: My fantasy world.
what time did you fall asleep: Like 3 AM
can you live without a microwave: I use it to steam broccoli.
what do think about death: Hi, death!
where and when do you want to be married: No marriage for Claudia
do you want to drop out of school: God yes
why is the sky blue: “Why does the shun come up? Are the starsh just pinholesh in the curtain of night? Who knows, highlander?” (random RAB reference is necessary for this survey to count).
what is a good trait about yourself: I have none of these
what do you always think about: You would probably be surprised.
what is wrong with your school: This double tuition thing is pissing me off. I JUST WANT MY STATS CLASSES
what is right with your school: It’s not the U of I.
how do you react to change: I use it to do laundry!
do you talk to yourself: Oh god, do you know me?
what is your opinion on love: It’s all you need if you’re a Beatle.
can you afford to lose weight: Probably
what color would you dye your hair: I’d dye it orange, but I’m scared of hair dye now.
best thing anyone’s told you: God, I don’t know
does being psycho appeal to you: I refuse to answer this.
if you wrote a book, what would it be about: Butts.
what would you change your name to: Butts McGee.
longest crush lasted how long: 8 years. Good lord.
time finished: 1:52 AM (shut up, I got distracted by The Sims)

Today’s song: American Slang by The Gaslight Anthem