Nonsensical survey responses are nonsensical. You poor fools asked for it (well, Matt did. Hi Matt!).

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand?
I put it in my hair. Shampoo is for hair.

When you take a drink of something, do you hold your pinky up?
Hahaha, I actually do this all the time. I was doing it with the Guinness last summer and Aaron called me on it.

What’s the most dominant color in your room?
Probably me.

How many times do you knock on a door?
Three.

What form of homework do you have to do today?
SCHOOOOOOOL’S OUT! FOR! SUMMER!
I should probably be doing research.

Do you write the way you speak?
My vocal cords are incapable of holding a pen. At least, I think they are. I don’t feel like swallowing ink (or dying) to find out.

Do you understand football?
I understand “scream enthusiastically when the U of I team isn’t falling on its ass.” If that counts.

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Vancouver has nothing for me now that Johnny Weir’s gone.
Love that man.

Do you ever think “what if” about anything?
What if I say yes?

In the past week have you cried?
Has a week of my life gone by in which I HAVEN’T cried? Haha, god, I’m so emo.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week?
My mommy.

Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now?
I miss my roomies insanely.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Mom.

Do you say sorry first?
I say sorry all the time.

Has someone promised you something and broke it?
It required Crazy Glue.

Do you like anyone?
Does “every time I’m back in Moscow we do dirty, sexy things to each other” count? If so, yes.

What were you doing at noon today?
Panicking.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now?
My SOUL!!!!

Is there someone you will never forget?
Indeed.

Looking forward to the next couple months?
Summer calculus class? HELL YES!
Not sarcastic. I have a serious problem.
Calcoholics Anonymous.
(Calcohol tastes like Choco Leibniz, by the way).

What are you saving your money up for right now?
RENTandpossiblyaguitarbecauseI’mboredandclarinetistooloudforapartmentlifeandIneedmusicbackinmylifebeforeIdie.

If you had enough money, what would you buy?
Antarctica.

Are you shy?
Indeed.

Are you a talkative person?
On occasion.

Can you live a day without TV?
Been there, done that.

Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
It freaking better be.

How’s your heart lately?
It seems to have acquired a drum set and won’t stop playing it in my chest. At least it keeps good rhythm.

Do you think age matters in relationships?
Only if you’re a ffflalkjeirocrp.

Have you held hands with anyone in the past week?
Nope.

Do you use chapstick?
I use Carmex. I’m addicted to it. I think my death will be Carmex-related.
(Carmohol tastes like tingly).

Do you have friends you can tell stuff to and you’re sure they won’t tell?
Fartfartfartfartfart.

Has anyone ever told you that they like you more than as a friend?
Fall 2008: The Semester Claudia was Hot Shit and Everyone Wanted Her.
The Sequel (Spring 2009: The Semester Claudia Married Factor Analysis and was Never Sane Again) was not so well-received by critics.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Very much so.

Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
I do that with everyone.

Do you like your name?
It sounds like a little kid’s name. It also means lame, which is quite descriptively accurate of me.

How many months until your birthday?
Like forty.

Do you hold grudges easily?
Little buggers are prickly.

Can you handle constructive criticism?
In Soviet Russia, constructive criticism handles YOU!

In this world, what makes you the happiest?
Factor analysis.

Are you a private person?
BOOM!

Do you fall in love too quickly?
I’ve only done it twice, I don’t think either one was too fast.

Do you catch yourself running from situations?
I catch myself mentally breaking down in front of situations.

Last person to comment you?
MAGGIE!

Ever been to a bonfire party?
Solstice fun times with mom and G.E.!

Is it easier to forgive or to forget?
It’s been statistically proven that it’s easier to have loved and lost than to either forgive OR forget, χ²(4000) = 0.9, p < 0.0000001¹.

Is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now?
I embrace all insanity.
Which is probably why I’m screwed up.

Do you wear makeup every day?
I wear foundation.

What are you listening to?
Hippos.

1Source: me.

Today’s song: Battling Go-Go Yubari in Downtown L.A. by edIT