I swear to god, I don’t know how she put up with me. From the time I was a very small kid (Kindergarten) I was absolutely fascinated by this camcorder she had, and I always had her tape me doing the most mundane things. Examples:

• I had a row of about 40 small rocks and made her tape me reading off their names, then giving them prizes for being rocks.
• Me reading out of the Troy phonebook.
• Me using a stencil to draw circles (FOR LIKE AN HOUR).
• Me writing in my journal.
• Me naming every freaking item in the house.
• Me counting to 100. Twice. I’m not kidding.
• And then she made the biggest mistake of her life and decided to let me have a shot at using the camera. I claimed it as mine and proceeded to make tons of ridiculous movies, including quite a long series involving a pair of gay grandpa sock puppets (no joke). I thought I was Steven Spielberg or something, I don’t know.
• Also, 24 + 7 = 20, apparently. I’ve obviously stayed at this math level my whole life.

Hooray for growing up in hick town Troy. I really don’t know why I didn’t go into directing or something after seeing all this.