TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:
10. What else do you say about me behind my back?
9. You’re such a show-off. Get over yourself.
8. Through all the crap that’s happened between us, we’ve somehow stayed very good friends. Thank you for that.
7. Get out of our house. You’ve overstayed your welcome by about 6 months.
6. Whatever happened to you? I’m curious.
5. Get over it. It happened, it’s done, stop blaming me every time you talk to me.
4. If you were alive today, I’d be stalking you (you all probably know who this is)
3. You and I have the perfect blend of humor. Our messenger conversations are gold, and I’m going to save them forever. You’re awesome.
2. You’re one of my closest friends, and I’m so glad we both decided to participate in that exercise in Psych 101. You’re hilarious, and I’m going to miss you a lot.
1. I love you. So much.

NINE things about yourself:
9. If I wasn’t a coward, I’d be a math major.
8. I adore the sound of cathedral bells.
7. When I was a kid (first-fourth grade, mainly), I had this wild ambition to remake movies with my peers—to direct them and star in them and film them so that they would be shown to millions. I had all these plans, I wanted the remakes to be famous (this first happened with Toy Story, then Star Wars, then Anastasia, then Mulan, etc.). I don’t know what ever happened to that desire and why I don’t have a burning passion to go into the movie business.
6. I think men’s fashion from the 18^th century is astoundingly gorgeous.
5. The color red-orange makes me physically ill. Even the sound of it makes me kinda queasy.
4. I still am passionate about Antarctica. I’m going to go there before it all melts away.
3. I couldn’t spell the word “their” correctly until I was like 16. I always wanted to spell it “thier” because that looks better.
2. I write gay erotica in my spare time. No, you can’t read it.
1. I love statistics. I mean, I really love statistics. They fascinate me, and I want to unlock their secrets.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:
8. Let me ramble. You don’t have to listen, just let me do it.
7. Understand that my love for Leibniz is of no threat to you. Odds are he will never be brought back to life.
6. If you’re pudgy, show it off.
5. Have an unhealthy obsession with something. I don’t know why I find that so attractive, but I do.
4. Pants. Don’t wear them very often.
3. Trust me.
2. I can take a lot of disrespect before I even mention that I feel slighted. Please treat me with a little kindness. I don’t take much, really.
1. Let me be there for you. Rely on me.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
7. How much I miss certain things in the past.
6. “That would make a really good Flash!”
5. “How can I make a stupid pun about this?”
4. Grades.
3. The free will/determinism debate.
2. “What would Leibniz/Hume/Berkeley/Kant/etc. think about this?”
1. “How can I statistically analyze that?”

SIX things you do before you fall asleep:
6. Listen to music to wind down.
5. Brush my teeth.
4. Change into jammies.
3. Open the window.
2. Turn on the fan.
1. Turn on my alarms (all four of them).

FIVE people who mean a lot to you.(friends only)
5. Maggie.
4. Matt.
3. Nick.
2. Sean.
1. Aaron (friend version, haha).

FOUR things you’re wearing right now.
4. Bra.
3. Shirt.
2. Undies.
1. Um…glasses?

THREE songs that you listen to often.
3. Farewell by Apocalyptica.
2. Lights and Music by Cut Copy.
1. Sleepyhead by Passion Pit.

TWO things you want to do before you die:
2. Write something. Something good. Something for which I’ll be remembered.
1. Make notable strides in the field of statistics, preferably by coming up with a better method for measuring non-normal data.

ONE confession:
1. I’m a college graduate with honors and I can’t add single digits in my head.