I’m way to freaking sick to do anything productive today. Therefore, you get random MSN Messenger quotes from me. Because all I did today was reread the histories of my conversations. Note the surprising amount of times I say “spaghetti” and “orgasm” in the same sentence.

Haha, I’m listening to the Bloodhound Gang and I’m at the part in Three Point One Four where he’s singing “VAAGIIIIIIIIINA!” and my dad’s upstairs yelling “what the hell are you listening to?!”

“Mobius strips always have one-sided relationships”

“Mobius strips: they’re never two-faced”

You didn’t have to watch Roy (my supervisor) suspiciously mouth an Otter Pop this afternoon, so you’re lucky in that respect

Haha, that’d be a great slogan. Welcome to the U of I, where the education system is backwards and plastic expands without reasonable cause

Microsoft: helping you fudge percentages 102% of the time

CNN: where obscure news headlines make you go “WTF?”
“Hundreds of Dead Fish Trap Residents”
“Snake Slithers into Reporter’s Pants”
“Asst. Principal Arrested for Pimping”

*nom nom nom* “Where’s your director’s cut now?!” *nom nom nom*

When all else fails, play Rock Band

But now I have spaghetti, and it tastes orgasmic

U of I Don’t Know What the Hell We’re Doing

Scandinavia produces amazingly hot people
Hot as in “sexy,” of course, ’cause it’s cold up there

I’m orgasming over this freaking amazing spaghetti

AAAAAAAAH SYMBOLIC LOGIC ON WIKI MY HEAD EXPLODE
Damn you, Godel!

Unless he’s (Aaron’s) drunk, in which case he’s fallen out of the drumming chair and is on the floor giggling
And Sean’s shouting “GET THE HELL OFF THE FLOOR, WE’RE NOT FAILING OUT ON BOSTON!!”

Fuck the comma!
(Quite different from “fuck, the comma!”)

SPAGHETTI ORGASM!

Sean says: you should play this game
This is Not a Screen Name says: I can’t, I’m writing a gay love scene
Sean says: …
This is Not a Screen Name says: Wanna read it?
Sean says: …
Sean says: …
Sean says: …maybe

I need someone else to dress as Newton so we can have some sort of dramatic calculus duel or something

Can I put up that one where you look like you’re taking a crap on the bus?

“Let’s go see what’s going on on my page OH MY GOD MY EARS!”

Also, that zeppelin game has consumed my soul

Let’s hope Ross had an influx of short dude’s pants malfunctions

Well yeah, but Newton was a bitch

My limbic system blows

I guess I’ll just have to love my dead sexy intellectuals on my own

Descartes has laser vision

You’ve guilt-tripped me into thinking I guilt-tripped you
How’s that for a Claudia moment?

Gee, it sure would help if I had my FREAKING NOTE
S*
SO ANGRY CANNOT TYPE

How in the world do you make a professional-looking collage?
Spellcheck the freaking magazine word cut-outs?
I seriously have much better things to do with my time than make a collage for a 300-level class
Like bitch about making a collage for a 300-level class, for example

Haha, at least the logic final will make sense, nothing like “from no premises, prove that love is universal”

So…you’re saying you’ve never wanted a dead guy down your pants?

 Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if popular American books and movies were made in England instead
“The Green Kilometer”
“The Colour Purple”
“Celsius 233”
Hahaha, “The Tony Blair Witch Project”

I don’t know who Tukey is, but he and his W test can die

Did you have one that was as grammatically incorrect as a sentence could be?
It was like, “shame is emotion you feeling when failure to live up to __________________”
I should have written in “shame is emotion you feeling when failure to write good proper” or something

It’s got rainbows on it, so it can’t be all bad

“Funeral Home Assistant”
“Job entails: moving bodies, lawn maintenance”
WTF?
“Move this body over here, then go get the weed-whacker”

Oooh, and then my floppy disk turned into a hard drive and I RAM’ed you so hard up your USB drive that you ejaculated a CD