It’s 4 in the morning. I hate life right now. You get a survey.

Hi, my name is:
Claudia

But you can call me:
Sir.

My fav color is:
Orange FTW.

My high school was:
Not too bad. The best part was lunchtime with all my dorky friends. And that one teacher who liked me. And that cranky old guy who didn’t.

My hair is:
STILL FREAKING RED! What the hell, that was supposedly a temporary dye. I want my black back.

My birthday is:
The same day as Groundhog’s Day.

My middle name is:
The most popular female middle name in the United States.

When I look down I see:
A blanket.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’:
I’d probably be freaking out, ‘cause I would be like “what the hell, I was just sitting in my chair at home and now I’m on this crazy set?”

By this time next year:
I’ll have graduated. Twice. And preparing to leave for grad school.
Or I’ll have shot myself because I didn’t get into grad school.

I have a hard time understanding:
Why I’m doing this survey. ‘Cause for some reason, I’m thinking I’ve done this one before.
And math. I’m a failure and a quitter when it comes to math. And a failure and a quitter in general.
I have a hard time understanding why I even bother, how’s that?

If you spent the night at my house:
You’d never speak to me again, most likely.

The one person who can drive me nuts is:
Myself. I suck.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself:
METALOCALYPSE season 1 on DVD, bitch! I’m so excited for that to get here.

Most recent thing someone else bought me:
Dinner at Winger’s. Thanks, Rob.

In the morning I:
Hope that this will be the day that I’m better in the head. The optimism is fading, though.

If I was an animal I’d be a:
Bird of some sort. Maybe. I dunno. You’d best watch out, or I’ll crap on your car.

What’s your top friends name:
Rob!

Do you get along with this person all the time:
We fight over stupid little things. Usually my idiocy.

How old is the person:
Twenty.

Has this person ever cooked for you:
Nope.

Have you ever kissed this person:
Yup.

Are you really close to this person:
No, not really, I don’t like him that much.

Could you live with this person:
He doesn’t know what he’s in for.

How long have you known this person:
Since college started. Sort of. It’s complicated.

Have you ever had a sleepover with this person:
I don’t think the fishbowl night counted as a sleepover, seeing as how sleeping failed to occur.

If you ever moved away would you miss this person:
Of course.

Do you know everything about this person:
Nope.

Have you ever made something with this person:
We’ve constructed opposing arguments for the free will vs. determinism debate, does that count?

Ever been in love:
Yeah.

Believe in love at first sight:
Eh.

What is your bed size:
It’s an aero bed…I don’t know what size it is, we just threw some random blankets on it and called it good.

Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil:
Pen!

What’s your favorite season:
Blazing hot summer. What the hell is this rain and 50 degree weather in June? 

Favorite radio station:
106.3

Coke or Pepsi:
Neither.

Favorite subject in school:
TESTS AND MEASUREMENTS!

Last book you read:
Good question. I haven’t read anything outside of textbooks for quite awhile. I’m reading Faust now, though.

Do you prefer cats or dogs:
Cats. Totally.

What’s your dream job:
Psychometrician. Plus Leibniz scholar. Plus Leibniz’ wife. Yes, that would be a job.

What kind of car do you drive:
A Subaru, but it’s my mom’s. And I’m learning to drive stick on my dad’s 22-year-old Jeep.

Are you a better talker or better listener:
I’m pretty good at both. I just wish sometimes that people would let me talk. I’ve got things I need to express, and nobody will listen. It sucks.

What do you miss most about childhood:
Not being old enough yet to recognize how crappy a human being I really am. Or was. Or whatever.

How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test:
UNO!

How many kids do you want:
Kids suck.

Can you cook:
Bahahahahaha…

Have you been to Disney World:
Nope.

How many TRUE best friends do you have:
I dunno.

Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth:
Cry over the truth. This “I lied to protect your feelings” stuff is crap.

Who’s the last person you got into a argument with:
Rob. Yes, I call that an argument.

If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move:
I’m not telling. Leave me alone.

How much do looks matter to you in a guy:
A bit. I can get past it, though.

Whats the best feeling in the world:
Success. I’ll probably never feel that again, though.

Are you close with your mom and dad?
Yeah.

Do you tell your parents everything:
Not as much as I used to. When I talk it pisses them off because I’m so damn down right now.

What’s your favorite color to wear:
Orange. Or lime green.

Who was the last person in your bedroom:
My mom, probably.

What’s something that someone can do that really bothers you:
Tell me “it’s okay.” It’s not okay. Go to hell.

What are you freakishly obsessed with:
Oh god…psychometrics, Leibniz, Voltaire, color, MySpace, blogging, and techno.
And Metalocalypse. I’m way too obsessed with that show. I think I have a problem.

What piercings do you want:
I want my nose pierced. Maybe I’ll do that right before band camp.

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass or fail:
Pass, bitch!

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
Doubt it.

Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in:
Before, ‘cause it’s ice cold here.

Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower:
Haha, no.

Your favorite sport to watch:
Sports suck.

Ever had stitches:
Just internal stitches.

Have you ever given money to a homeless person:
Yup.

Would you kiss someone of same sex for $100:
Doesn’t that kind of border on prostitution?
Prostitution Lite?
Oh man, that would be an awesome band name!

More of a coffee or alcohol drinker:
Neither.

Ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire:
Nope.

Do you snore:
Probably.

What are you afraid of:
Failure. Commitment. TV screens.

All together, how many people have you kissed?
Two.

Are you comfortable with your body:
It’s a piece of shit. I guess that suits me, though.

What’s your stand on gay marriage:
What the hell is everyone so uptight about? Let them get married and STFU.

What about abortions:
See above. Except replace “married” with “have an abortion”

How do you like this quiz:
Oh shit, that was a quiz? Did I get an A?