So what brilliant person decided which countries were which movements in that song we’re playing in concert band? Seriously, they’ve got like a 60% failure rate. Observe:
The Introduction Thingy
This doesn’t count. It’s the introduction thingy.
The First Movement—Destination: France
Status: FAIL!
This song does not strike me remotely as French. France does not jive to the 3/2 time signature. France is waltz. France is stuff composed by Ben Charest for The Triplets of Belleville. This is French. Crappy, slow, “I’ve-dropped-le-baguette-in-le-Riviera-and-I’m-le-tired [obscure “The End of the World” reference]” is not French. Bulgarian at best. But not French.
The Second Movement—Destination: England
Status: WIN!
This song captures perfectly London on a cold, foggy morning. All we need is the ominous tolling of Big Ben in the background and I feel like I’m back in London being swarmed by pigeons. Success.
The Third Movement—Destination: Italy
Status: FAIL!
Italy? Italy?! No, no, no…three words: IRISH, DRINKING, and SONG. Further evidence that this should be a drinking song is produced in the 40 measure-long rests that are in place as to allow the clarinet sections to go to the pub before continuing with their parts.
The Fourth Movement—Destination: Spain
Status: FAIL!
Things conjured up in my mind when I think of Spain: castanets, running with the bulls, Ernest Hemingway, “Toro!”, and…well yeah, that’s about it. Nowhere does this list say anything about “depressing, funeral-esque music.” We decided the song was after a fatal goring during a running of the bulls, and we were mourning.
Still…where are the castanets, freaking people?!
The Fifth Movement—Destination: Germany
Status: WIN!
*singing along with the 2nd clarinet part* “AH! YES! I’m a German male!” (more lyrics with which to annoy Torrey to come).
This is a mighty powerhouse of a movement. The Germans would approve.
Yeah, that’s all I’ve got for today.
