I’m sorry, but I’m easily amused by my own antics and find my answers to this strange survey absolutely hilarious. You say “egotistic,” I say…well, yeah.

Touché.

 1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was behind you?
Drew Carey? WTF are you doing in my room?

2. How much cash didn’t you spend yesterday?
THIS QUESTION BLOWS MY MIND!!!

4. Favorite planet, which you would live at, if you could?
I’ve surveyed Uranus from afar and have found it a suitable habitat for a pervert who enjoys the silly connotations of the word “Uranus” on a daily basis.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with mist?
Cyst. Or lasagna.

5. What is your favorite tone on your phone?
“AAAAAAAAAAAH PUSSY!”

6. What is the last band shirt you wore?
Marching band! Ha, that totally counts.

7. What do you think of yourself?
AAAAAAAAAAAAH PUSSY!

8. Name the brand of your shoes you’re currently wearing.
OH MY GOD I’VE NO FEET!

9. Night light or pitch black?
I refuse to answer for religious reasons.

10. What do you think about the (previous) person who took this?
Pat Buchanan is awesome. Yeah, Pat Buchanan totally took this before me. And if you’d have seen his answers…well…you’d see why he never had a chance in any election.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Wouldn’t YOU like to know? Hehehehe…I’m a filthy human being.

13. Where is the nearest Valero?
Is that anything like Velcro? If it is, it’s in the drawer behind me.

14. What’s something that you say a lot?
“Holy crap!”

15. Who told you they loved you last?
My mumsy.

16. Last furry thing you touched?
I’m sorry…I have to…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH PUSSY!

17. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days?
Why, The Same Drugs You Did, Dear Survey Creator—The Ones That Make You Capitalize Every Word Of A Sentence!

 19. Favorite age you have been so far?
The same number as this question. How handy!

20. Your wurst enemy?
Sausage (ha! Get it?)

21. What is your current desktop picture?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH PUS—okay I’ll stop.

22. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“Hey, I’m not in grad school yet. I have excuses.”

23. How do you like your eggs?
Ostrich-esque.

24. Do you like someone?
I would take this man, throw him up against a wall, and start making sweet, sweet love to him (preferably in the psych department building, maybe in the lab in between subject runs) if there was any hinting at all that it would be mutually enjoyed.
So yeah, I guess that constitutes liking.

25. The last song you listened to?
Larger Than Life…
…by…
…the Backstreet Boys.