So lately I’ve been hearing a lot of comments/discussions about shyness. This is not a bad thing; I just think people would benefit from understanding some things about people who are really rather shy and inhibited in social situations. Like me (believe it or not, I don’t much care for social situations, mainly because I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do to interact “correctly”).

So here we go! An exposé on shyness.

1. Small talk
I’m not a big fan of people who automatically assume that people who make small talk are “stupid” or “superficial.” I do not think this is necessarily the case, especially when shy people are involved. I made this point in my psych class a few days ago: maybe shier people have grown accustomed to making small talk in order to fill the awkward silences (see point 2) that may result from their being shy. I don’t know if this is the case in all situations, but it certainly is the case with me. I’ve become a partial expert on small talk recently in order to fake my way through college social life. I suck at it still, though—I just use it a lot. The best advice I can give you here is to put up with the small talk until the shy person is comfortable enough to open up to you. Even better, suggest a deeper topic that both of you can elaborate on. Again, I don’t know about anyone else, but a deep topic can get me rambling for months on end.

2. Awkward silence
This is a big one. Without small talk, this can overtake a conversation. At least in my case, this stems not from a lack of things to discuss (in other words, it’s not a lack of random topics flooding the brain) but rather a fear of saying the wrong thing to those in the immediate vicinity. What’s better to avoid total humiliation than to remain silent? However, this silence is often misconstrued as stupidity or dullness. I disagree. It’s just a lack of confidence. Best advice? Again, either accept that the silence can go on for a little while, or try to find a topic that is interesting and deep.

3. The damn giggling
I don’t know about you, but this drives me nuts (mainly because I do it myself). It’s the constant throaty “huhuhuhuhu” that results after the non-shy member of a group makes a comment or suggestion to a shy person. This is typically the shy person’s response. While stupid-sounding, I think it’s just a case of, again, not knowing exactly what to say so as not to offend or confuse anyone. If it amuses you, laugh. If it annoys the hell out of you, sing a happy little tune in your head to try to drown it out. After time, as a sense of familiarity and comfort enters the equation, it will diminish. I promise.
Yeah, so that’s about it. I thought this was going to be a really long blog, but it turned out to be rather short. I think it will benefit many people to understand the shier people and their actions through the eyes of a shy person. So here you go. Enjoy.