I need a life.

TEN random things about me:
1. I have the immune system of a god.
2. My favorite thing to do with my feet is to take off my shoes and socks, point my big toe at someone, and yell, “Uncle Sam wants YOU!”
3. Existentialism blows my mind.
4. Some days I just want to yell, “fuck it!” to the whole damn system.
5. I can fold my entire outer ear into my ear canal (wee!).
6. Popular people/people with social skills fascinate me (it’s not jealousy or resentment or anything like that…they just fascinate me).
7. I like big butts. I cannot lie.
8. When I walk under lit streetlights, 70% of the time they turn off.
9. I don’t belong in this era. Seriously. I feel very out of place.
10. I can’t do simple math in my head. Never been able to. I can recite movies verbatim after I watch them just once, I can remember the exact working to a report on Samuel de Champlain I did back in fourth grade, and I can rattle off 100 or so facts about Antarctica, but ask me what 7+6 is and I’ll sit there for an unnaturally long period of time before I eventually fart out an answer.

NINE ways to win my heart:
1. Make the first move. I’m shy. I’m also pretty damn clueless when it comes to social cues, so it would have to be a pretty obvious move.
2. Let me rant. I need to rant. If I rant, I’ll get it out of my system (most likely). If I don’t, haha, watch out!
3. Understand that I am not a people person. I like my space (and MySpace. Haha, I’m full of it tonight!). I have utmost respect for those who respect my space.
4. Let me touch you (not THAT way, sicko…unless, of course, you like it that way).
5. Smile. I like smiles. Especially if I cause them.
6. Make obscure references to Millard Fillmore.
7. A large vocabulary’s always good…wordplay is better than foreplay!
8. No stalking. Leave that to me.
9. I cry a lot. A LOT. Understand this. Accept this.

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
1. Win the Nobel Peace Prize
2. Win a Pulitzer Prize (implying the want to write and publish at least one book)
3. Build a successful perpetual motion machine
4. Can anyone say, “time travel?”
5. Establish a utopia. Observe it. Watch it fall into dystopia. Write a book about it.
6. Be the father (mother?) of a Mahler’s Effect/Syndrome/Theorem/Law (yet to be determined exactly what this is, obviously)
7. Become an Internet phenomenon (I’m on my way! It’s what I keep telling myself!)
8. Be assured that I will live on in the memory of others (and by “others” I mean “a butt-load of people”)

SEVEN things I believe in:
1. My own opinions
2. Logic
3. Hard work
5. Quality over quantity (thus rendering my blogs completely worthless)
6. Independence
7. Solitude (and how good it is for a person)

SIX things that get me mad (or annoyed/paranoid/frustrated):
1. Fake people
2. Stupid people
3. Pseudo-intellectuals
4. Cell phones and people who constantly use them
5. Little kids (we’re talking ages 3-7 here)
6. Can I just say people in general?

FIVE things I’m afraid of:
1. Failure
2. Touching TV screens
3. Dragonflies
4. Sex (yeah, believe it or not)
5. Crowds

FOUR of my favorite items in my room:
1. My computer
2. This whacked-out drawing I did from several years ago
3. My iPod
4. I think I have a spork in here somewhere

THREE things I do everyday:
1. Put on my glasses.
2. Amuse myself.
3. Wish for olfaction.

TWO things I need to do right now:
1. My Core paper
2. My four other papers

ONE person I want to see right now:
1. Millard Fillmore!!! Seriously though, Anastasia Pennington, my friend from first grade. She and I lost contact loooong ago and I miss the hell out of her.