Okay people, it’s time for the most important week of your lives: from January 29^th-February 4^th is CLAUDIA MAHLER APPRECIATION WEEK!

This week, like all other weeks (duh) runs for seven days and seven nights (it’s almost biblical it’s so amazing!) and involves the worship of me.

Cause I rock your socks.

Actually, we just needed something to fill the awful void of the week surrounding Groundhog Day.

Anyways, here are a few recommended rituals/gifts:

 Acceptable:
~Cash (small bills in an unmarked briefcase preferred)
~Facebook messages
~MySpace messages
~Blog comments (these especially!)
~Some sort of bonfire
~The Sistine Chapel
~Millard Fillmore’s tombstone and/or Millard Fillmore

Optional:
~Human sacrifices
~Carpet squares
~Crappy poetry (a.k.a. any poetry)

Don’t even think about giving me:
~Nocturnal marsupials
~Any form of country music CDs
~Answering machines
~Cuisinarts
~Any comments involving the phrase “OMG WHY R U SO SPESHUL LOL!”
~The plague/syphilis/Tae-Bo videotapes

Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week wanes into International Unleashing of the Alter Egos Week (February 11^th-February 17^th). Other weeks/days of pure insanity include:

~April 20^th…hehe.
~Talk Like A Shakespearean Actor Day (April 23^rd)
~Maggie McRae-Skinner Week (May 6^th-May 12^th)
~Outdoor Intercourse Day (May 8^th)
~And swing it all back around to the beginning of next year: Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week (January 6^th 2007-January 12^th 2007)

Have fun! I know I will.

Note: it is not recommended you take Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week too seriously. Overexposure to Claudia Mahler may cause severe headache, respiratory distress, insomnia, lack of libido, erectile dysfunction, and the inability to play Scrabble. If you are pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant, you probably shouldn’t smoke (but you can still participate in Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week!).