Claudia’s Review of the Smilies

Ahoy!

Being bored and at home on a Saturday, I decided to do my own little review of all the different smilies you can use here on your MySpace blog. These are what I think they mean/say/fantasize about. Go!

< Well, this is a given. Smile, grin, be happy. The generic “Meh. I guess it’s cool” smiley.
< Another given. Cry, frown, be upset. Or, because of the color, “I accidentally dunked my head in a bucket o’ paint and I’m sad.”
< “What ‘choo lookin’ at, homo?” At least, that’s what I see. Or, as I have used it, “I hate you, Rube Goldburg.”
< I like this one. Reminds me of me. “I accidentally dunked my head in a bucket o’ paint and I’m down with it!”
< Narcissus, a.k.a. me.
< It’s the happy devil! Is the real devil this happy? If so, I want to know why. Did he just tell a devil-related joke (“Retirement is going to be hell…oh, wait!” kind of thing)?
< I flippin’ hate this smiley! He’s 3D! Why the heck is that?? None of the others are. Self-righteous turd. F-.
< Dork/nerd/geek smiley. I use this a lot. Coincidence?
< Dead but happy. Goin’ to the happy devil, perhaps? Or is he drunk? He’s drunk.
< The Sore Smiley. Represents, “aw, I just stubbed my toe,” or “aw, I just became a quadruple amputee.”
< I don’t like aliens. F-.
< Nummy nummy! I ate a mummy!
< Aww…the luuuuve smiley. Never been used by moi. [insert Sore Smiley here].
< Woosh! Don’t wanna mess with this guy. He just ate a firecracker and is farting from the front. Ewww…
< The continually talking smiley. Or he’s chewing gum in a highly irregular fashion. Or he’s saying, “Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!”
< Oh, you kid!
< It’s Kenny G! (Get it? Get it? That long note he played?…aw, screw it.)
< “Woah! Pull those pants up, Granny.”
< Never used this one. Don’t like it. Friggin’ mollusks. I’m boycotting.
< Wee!
< Flippin. Favorite. Smiley. I love that dirty look. He’s all, “hehe.”
< Never used this one, either. I don’t wear sunglasses and I’m not a peachy color. I’m pale as a paleontologist (Get it? Get it? Oh, screw it again.)
< The “oh…crap.” smiley. “I accidentally dunked my head in a bucket o’ paint and I’m going to get my pay docked.”
< Anatomically impossible, but impossible to resist. I use this an awful lot.
< The “I’ve got a lot of explaining to do” smiley. He’s saying, “The good news is I got all pluses. The bad news is that there’s an ‘F’ in front of each one of them.”
< Ner-her. This one smiles strangely. Have I used this one?
< “Who did what with the what now?”
< The only pissed off smiley I use, cause that 3D one sucks and the fire one’s only for when I’m really mad.
< Yawn. No, I’m listening. Really. Keep talking.
< I’m listening. Really. Keep chickens.
< Another conflustered (hehe) smiley. I like this one.
< Winky winky! Or, “I just lost my glass eye! Retreive it for me, kind friend?”
< The one continuously laughing. He must be near suicide.
< I love this one, too. I use it a lot. He’s purple, he’s swingin’ those eyeballs about, and he looks like me. A lot.
< Last one! Can’t figure this one out. Another anatomically impossible smiley, but I guess they all are, aren’t they? Severed heads and all…