Why? Because I felt like it! I don’t need to justify myself to you people!

The Ego-Boosting Survey
This’ll make you feel good about yourself!

What are you best at?
What am I best at? Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m best at anything. I’m really freaking good at writing essays/research papers. Really good. Never lower than an A, if I recall correctly.

Why do people like you?
Haha, no idea. For the few who really do like me, I think it’s because I know who I am, I know what I want, and I deliberately do what I do. But I’m just spontaneous enough to cause some fun.

What’s your best physical feature?
I’ve been hearing it’s my lips, lately.

What’s your best mental feature?
Well, my medulla oblongata is quite an attractive piece of work, if I do say so myself. No seriously…I can take what I know and make all sorts of connections. I’m really good at connecting things and coming to logical (?) conclusions.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever written?
That short story with Andy, Dave, and the reading ban. I just liked the way it ended. Mysterious like.

What’s the funniest/wittiest thing you’ve ever written?
This. Hilarity. Presidents + chatroom, what could be better?

What’s the wittiest thing you’ve ever said/come up with?
Does the “Lucretia Mac Evil + Tear the Pants off the Sucker = Come on Eileen” thing count as witty? It’s funny, regardless.

What’s the best joke you’ve ever come up with?
A father gong (yes, a gong) is approached one day by his daughter. “Dad?” the teenage gong asks.”Yes, honey?” “Um…well…there’s no real easy way to tell you this, but…I think I’m bisexual.”The father gong erupts into a rage. “WHAT?! BISEXUAL?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOUNG LADY? I THOUGHT YOUR MOTHER AND I RAISED YOU RIGHT!! LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!” The young gong runs from the house, crying. As the father gong sits frozen with rage, the mother gong comes up beside him.”I suppose she told you the news about her bisexuality?” the mother asks.”Yes,” the father replies. “But I’m so angry. How could she do this to me after all I’ve done for her?” “I know dear, but there’s nothing you can do. You’ve simply got to let bi-gongs be bi-gongs.”(Get it? Get it?)

What’s the biggest award you’ve ever received?
Probably that Margaret Haggart Writing Award back in 6th grade. Probably not the biggest, but one of the most appreciated.

If you have a Johari window, what are your top traits?
Top how many? Five? I’ll give you five: intelligent, witty, complex, silly, knowledgeable.

Ah, that did kind of help. Ego elation! Ego elation!