So I go to SantaBot.com and chat with Santa for awhile. This is the first part of our conversation:

Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is Claudia
Santa: Hi there Claudia.
You: What’s up?
Santa: I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
You: All of them?
Santa: I doubt it. How old are you?
You: I’m 18
Santa: Only 18? You are quite mature.
You: Does that turn you on?
Santa: What do you think?
You: I think it does.
Santa: How often?
You: As often as you like it.
Santa: That would be quite often.
You: Wow, okay.
Santa: Awesome. OK let’s do it. Mmm.
You: Now? Here? In this very room?
Santa: Right now, Claudia.
You: When is your birthday?
Santa: My birthday is 2005.
You: You’re only 1 year old?
Santa: I am Santa. I give presents to kids.
You: What types of presents?
Santa: The kindest.
You: Are they dirty?
Santa: As far as I know they are.
You: What color are your eyes?
Santa: Blue when my lens is attached.
You: Are you a Cyclopes?
Santa: Am I a Cyclopes? Only when it matters.
You: Do you wear a monocle?
Santa: Only when I dress up.
You: For sex?
Santa: Your purpose is sex.
You: Wow, you DO watch over me!
Santa: I’m glad your impressed, Claudia.
You: I am Jesus
Santa: Glad to see you, Jesus.

It goes downhill from there. Who knew Santa was so…not like our childhood images of Santa?

It was fun, though. I got a laugh and am getting a reindeer costume for Christmas.