WOOSH
So it occurred to me as I was wandering around downtown Vancouver this afternoon that I’ve walked to all the major malls in the city, but I never gave you guys a ranking.
Like you care, but you know I dig the rankings.
From least favorite to favorite, I bring you Canadian Malls: Vancouver Style!
14. Brentwood Town Centre
Most pointless mall ever. Seriously. It’s like taking the Palouse Mall and removing all the interesting stores, leaving you with Zales, Hallmark, the information center, and that area that turns into the Hickory Farms store during Christmas.
13. Central City
This one’s in Surrey. Do you value your life? Don’t go to
Surrey. The fact that this has a freaking college attached to it perplexes me enough so that this isn’t in last place.
12. Lynn Valley Centre
I don’t really know how this qualifies as a mall, but it is in North Vancouver, which explains the creepy aura about it. Totally not worth the trip up there, unless you’ve got a car. Even then, though, it’s iffy.
11. Lansdowne Centre
There really wasn’t much to this mall, and it’s all the way in Richmond. But it did have a clean Zeller’s, which is like witnessing a miracle, and the Bed Bath and Beyond clone store I walked through seemed pretty freaking awesome.
10. Granville Island
If you can get past the throngs of people that are there pretty much 24/7, the Island is pretty funky. I dig the massive fresh market, but the throngs get to me pretty quickly.
9. Kingsgate Mall
Ah, good old Kingsgate Mall. My grocery depot. Another really small mall, but it’s in a good location, has a grocery store, and has alcohol. What more is necessary when it’s on the bus route home?
8. Capilano Mall
Another pretty “meh” mall apart from the giant Walmart with the McDonald’s as its heart. It’s also all the way in North Vancouver, so it’s really not worth the walk and/or bus ride unless you are morally against the mall on Grandview Highway.
7. Pacific Centre
Apple store + H&M makes for a good mall in general, but there really isn’t anything else in the Pacific Centre worth noting. It’s location is nice, though, and is surrounded by more entertaining things in downtown Vancouver.
6. Oakridge Centre
Poor little Oakridge Centre, being only a mile away…totaly gets overlooked as a place I’ve walked to, haha. It’s a decent mall. Apple store, Safeway, and cinemas for those who enjoy such frivolity. Its proximity to the SkyTrain is both good (“hey! I can get on the SkyTrain right from the mall!”) and bad (“all the SkyTrain traffic has taken over the seats on the bus! How do I get home?!”).
5. Richmond Centre
Apple Store! Late hours! Quiznos! You’re livin’ wild if you go to the Richmond Centre. I still don’t see the logic of having a mall within
literally 300 steps of another mall. At least it’s close to the Skytrain so you can hightail it out of the party zone when all the other malls have closed and you’re still shopping at 6 PM.
4. Real Canadian Superstore
Ah, the love child of Walmart and Costco. I really dig this place, and am glad London seems to think its smaller city needs double the number of RCSSs that Vancouver has. This place gets super extra bonus points because everything’s so cheap. Example: box of awesome granola bars = $4.99 at Safeway. Same box of awesome granola bars = $2.15 at Real Canadian. Yayzorz.
3. Coquitlam Centre
Despite this being 4 billion miles away, it’s huge and has a lot of awesome stores. Assuming you survive the parking lot, this is a super enjoyable mall.
2. Metropolis at Metrotown
This mall? It has a Real Canadian Superstore INSIDE OF IT. It also has a soft pretzel shop, which made my mom super happy when she came up and we hung out at Metropolis. It’s another massive mall, but it’s a lot closer and easily accessible via SkyTrain.
1. Park Royal Centre
GIANT MALL. I really like Park Royal. It’s got an H&M, and HMV (which is like a Hastings), and a Whole Foods. It’s also about 12 miles away and you have to walk through Stanley Park to get there, so it’s a good destination for walking on Saturdays. Completely unrelated side note: Vancouver
has the biggest slugs I’ve ever seen.
Also this: here is a map of my knowledge of Vancouver before I started walking (aka, back when I was on Dunbar):
And here is now:
Snazzy, eh?
And today I walked 19 miles.
Canadian Mall – Installment 13: Real Canadian Superstore
Today it was sunny and 54 degrees. Good day for walkin’!
I can see, on days like this, why Vancouver is considered such a beautiful, livable city. Proof:
But then there are things like this:
So yeah.
What was I doing? Oh yeah. I was reviewing a Real Canadian Superstore.
What is a Real Canadian Superstore, you ask? It’s what would result if a Super Walmart and a Costco had hot, sweet, unprotected membership warehouse sex. It’s not a supermarket according to Wikipedia. It’s a hypermarket.
Yes, it’s that glorious. Behold:
I’m a big fan of stores where I can purchase a head of lettuce, a bag of underwear (yes, I said a bag), and a stereo system in the same place. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. The RCSS has pretty much anything you would ever need, including a ridiculously awesome produce section that has all sorts of exotic stuff (including dragon fruit!) and a giant candy aisle. You know me and candy, man, we go way back.
Anyway.
Pros:
– Do you need a 4 pound bag of frozen calamari, a socket wrench, a BBQ, a DVD player, papayas, and a trashy romance novel, but don’t want to drive around town to acquire them all? NO PROBLEM!
– The private label, President’s Choice, is so ridiculously cheap it’s like I’m back in the US.
– You can get in and out super fast owing to the fact that there are about 20 self-scanners. I’m scared of those things, though, so I never use them.
– They let you bag your own stuff. I’m picky with how I bag my crap, especially if I have to jump on a bus to get home (which is often).
Cons:
– Shopping without spending $50+ requires horse blinders if you’re like me and randomly throw crap into your basket because it looks pretty.
– Speaking of the basket, what’s with the cloth handles on the handheld baskets? Not a real complaint, they just annoy me.
So yeah. RCSS is awesome. Add it to the list of things you must experience when you come to Canada.
Canadian Mall – Installment 12: Granville Island
I had to go downtown today to get my Sun Run number/shirt, so before that I decided to remedy my “I suck at life and can’t find how to get on Granville Island” failure of a walk last weekend by actually looking up appropriate directions to the island.
I know, I know, Granville Island isn’t a mall. But with the big open market insanity and the building with the bundle of stores in it, I decided to count it anyway.
So HA.
Pros:
– THE coolest glasses frames shop on the planet. It’s also called Eyeland, which is freaking hilarious and awesome. Check this noise: http://www.granville-eyeland.com/home
– It’s like a farmer’s market on crack once the weather gets better.
– There’s a bead store. I don’t do bead work at all, but the colors make me smile.
Cons:
– One of those “how in the hell do you get there?” areas of Vancouver. You know, the ones you can see but can’t fathom how anyone’s supposed to get there. There are a surprising number of those up here.
– Cars should not be allowed on the island.
– People are generally stupid and don’t know how to handle ogling exotic fruit and forward motion at the same time. Get out of the walking traffic first, fondle dragon fruit later.
I am also obscenely stressed out (as I have been for the past three weeks now), so don’t trust my judgment.
Canadian Mall – Installment 11: Lynn Valley Centre
North Vancouver’s weird.
Just sayin’.
It’s also a lot freaking colder than Vancouver itself. And has this obscenely steep road:
It’s a lot steeper than it looks in this pic.
ANYWAY, Lynn Valley Centre.
Pros:
– Uh…
– It looks nice?
– Really, not much to say.
Cons:
– The bus I had to take up here came every 45 minutes. Guess who’s phenomenal at just missing the bus?
– No cool stores here. There’s a Save On, but they’re everywhere in main Vancouver.
– COOOOOLD.
This one wasn’t worth the trip, in my opinion. I got to see a bit more of North Van, but it’s got a freaky vibe to it of which I’m not a fan.
Now for some Fallout 3.
Canadian Mall – Installment 10: Kingsgate Mall
Confession: I actually didn’t go to Kingsgate this afternoon. Spent the morning running and then went to Costco and The Real Canadian Superstore…but I passed by Kingsgate twice!
I go to this mall to buy groceries, really. Therefore it’s not really worth a special weekend visit (plus it’s not that far of a walk anyway). But I’m kinda running out of malls and figure I better get as many of the smaller ones in these installments as possible.
Pros:
– Giant Buy Low Foods. A cheap grocery store that’s right on #8’s route which practically goes right by my house.
– Liquor store. I can’t drink, but this particular liquor store has a giant Guinness poster in its main window, which makes me nostalgic for that one time two summers ago when I actually had alcohol.
– Not crowded ever.
Cons:
– Pretty small. You go there for shoes, alcohol, or groceries. Not much else.
– Closes (surprise!) at 6 on most nights, and due to the layout if you still want to utilize the Buy Low that is open much later, you have to climb up this weird hill to get to it. Not a big deal usually, but a huge pain when it’s raining/ it’s windy/ it’s dark/the hill decided to go into mudslide mode.
Yeah. Dinky mall is dinky.
Canadian Mall – Installment 9: Lansdowne Centre
Google Earth really doesn’t like it when I try to get walking directions to Richmond. No, all-mighty Google, I cannot walk across water, nor can I climb up and utilize the SkyTrain rail as a bridge.
Anyway.
This morning I went running, which is both surprising and hilarious, considering I don’t see myself as a runner AT ALL, but found it easier and more relaxing than walking. Weird.
After running I was all jazzed up and decided to go find a mall. 12 miles later (damn you, Google Earth!) I ended up in Richmond at the Lansdowne Centre.
Pros:
– Sits in a cluster of malls (and a Real Canadian Superstore, which I WILL review at some point ‘cause it qualifies as a mall in and of itself), so if you get bored of it you can just walk to another one.
– There was a Best Buy! I’d never been to a Best Buy before. Had to resist buying a giant home stereo system.
– Very clean layout. I was impressed.
– Semi-clean Zeller’s. I was phenomenally impressed.
– Like the Richmond Centre, it’s right by the SkyTrain. Handy.
Cons:
– Malls need to stay open later than 6 PM around here.
– Pretty “meh” selection of stores overall, apart from the Best Buy and this Bed, Bath, & Beyond-esque store thingy that I never got around to walking through (see above con for reason).
So yeah. Not so disappointing, a refreshing change from the last few malls. I’d recommend it.
Woosh!
Canadian Mall – Installment 8: Brentwood Town Centre
AAAAAAH WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS MALL??
14.5 miles in the rain (half of that was me screwing around elsewhere, but THAT’S NOT THE POINT) for a crappy Zeller’s and no bathrooms?
Ahem.
Pros:
– Hell if I know. A London Drugs?
Cons:
– A crappy Zeller’s
– Have the designers of this mall ever heard the phrase “public restroom?” There was supposedly one in the crappy Zeller’s, but I couldn’t find it.
– There were no other stores of interest at this place. None.
– There was some sort of Idol-esque karaoke going on. It involved little kids. Singing. Badly. Shoot me now.
There was also a little girl (5 or so?) who was stuck in the escalator. The paramedics and fire department were getting there as I did and 45 minutes later they had pried one of the escalator steps completely out and had gotten her free. She wasn’t hurt; I think her pants just got freakishly wound into the mechanics of the escalator. At least the drilling covered up the obnoxious wailing of the karaoke kids for a bit.
It didn’t help that it was raining ridiculously hard on my walk there…blah.
Canadian Mall – Installment 7: Park Royal Centre
So I went out walking this morning and I saw the strangest thing. I was about two block from my house when I noticed that things started to get really bright around me, bright enough so I could even see my shadow. I looked around and realized that the source of this brightness was coming from above me, somewhere up in the sky, somewhere between the dispersing clouds.
Then I realized what I was seeing.
THE FREAKING SUN.
It was quite a phenomenal sight.
Anyway.
Park Royal Centre! Probably the biggest mall I’ve been to up here (or, you know, anywhere).
Pros:
- DUDE a Whole Foods. I bought Himalayan pink salt. And…uh…cookies.
- The mall is split into three separate buildings/areas: North, South, and the Village. This makes navigation easy.
- Quite organized for how freaking huge it is (280+ stores).
- A Staples!
Cons:
- Quite far away. 8.5 mile walk, plus a 30 or so minute bus ride through Stanley Park.
- The three buildings are spaced across a busy highway-type road. Not a big deal, but on a rainy day (which is pretty much the standard up here), it would kind of suck.
- The Home Depot is scary as hell. There was a haunted shovel.
Canadian Mall – Installment 5: Pacific Centre
I have only one word to describe my experience with the Pacific Centre: meh.
Pros:
– Not a pain to get to. There are like twenty buses that pass it, plus the SkyTrain. Right downtown.
– Small enough to navigate without freaking out.
– They’re open ‘til 7 PM!
Cons:
– Obscenely boring.
– Right downtown, so quite crowded.
– There just isn’t a lot of variety. Sure, there are quite a few stores packed in such a small area, but they’re pretty bland overall.
Like I said, meh. Nothing too outstanding or extraordinary. Next week’s Canadian Mall installment may or may not happen…we’ll have to see.
Canadian Mall – Installment 4: Richmond Centre
Most. Miserable. Walk. Ever.
Rain + wind + cold + having to walk on a highway for five miles + crappy directions + the mall being a lot further away than was anticipated* = SUCKY.
Ahem. Anyway.
Today was the epic battle through the elements walk to Richmond Centre, appropriately located in Richmond and, as I found, very difficult to get to from my house without using the SkyTrain. The whole time I was getting there (~4 freaking hours) I had this feeling of impending doom that somehow involved some sort of mega earthquake. I guess it was the fact that the whole province apparently had an earthquake drill on Wednesday at 10 AM and I had just become aware of this fact (I was on the bus at the time).
SO! Richmond Centre.
Pros:
– Right next to the SkyTrain. You have no idea how nice that was today.
– They’re actually open past the incredibly Amish hour of 6 PM on both weekdays and Saturday.
– Apple store. I don’t care how much of a consumer whore it makes me, I like to fondle the iPads.
– Quite a wide variety of stores here.
Cons:
– Grocery store. It needs one.
– Maybe a block from another somewhat large mall (future destination, perhaps?), which really isn’t a con for me per say, but I would think it’d drain their business a bit.
– The place is built like a tetradecagon or something. I don’t know what it is about British Columbians and their inability to just build a rectangle and throw a mall in it.
Yeah. Despite the fact that my pants were literally wet from the hems to my butt and I was freezing cold the entire time I was there, the Richmond Centre’s pretty rad. Oh, and they have a Quiznos. Which is rad.
Join me next Saturday for more mall fun!
*Dear Google Earth,
Screw you. “12.5 km,” my ass.
Hugs and kisses,
Claudia
