It’s the last one! THE LAST ONE!
4901. Are you a fun lovin criminal?
I’m a boring-enjoying do-gooder.
4902. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?
Hahaha, probably R.
4903. Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?
Mel Brooks rules.
4904. What do you think of the movie Mystic Pizza?
That sounds familiar, but I’ve never seen it.
4905. Have you ever danced on a table, bar, or other platform?
4906. Where was the most inconvenient place you ever threw up?
When I was little I threw up on a lady during a flight. Not my finest hour.
4907. When was the last time you were up all night?
The night before I flew down to Tucson.
4908. What question will you find the answer to today?
“Will Claudia finally finish this damn survey?”
4909. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.
4910. What did you think of the movie 10 Things I hate about You?
Eh. Not worth the hype.
4911. Ten Things I hate About You or clueless?
4912. What’s the point of robbery when nothing is wrth taking?
4913. What do you do only when you are upset?
We’re not going to get into that.
4914. Can you imagine no love, pride, and deep-fried chicken?
DON’T TAKE MAH CHICKEN!!!
4915. What do you think about flag burning?
I would never personally do it, but I don’t know if it’s something that should be illegal.
4916. Are you cuddley?
4917. Who thinks you are offensive?
Hopefully not too many.
4918. Who deserves an appology from you?
Probably someone, but I can’t think of anyone.
4919. Who owes you an apology?
No one I can think of.
4920. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?
Dragonflies, man. Creepy buggers.
4921. Did you/will you go to the prom?
I did go to the prom. My dress left glitter EVERYWHERE.
4922. Do you have intimacy issues?
4923. have you ever wanted to date twins?
I can barely tell two dramatically different people apart. Could you imagine me with twins?
They’d have to have some pretty screwed up genes to want to date me, anyway.
4924. What website should everyone check out?
4925. Are pigeons flying rats?
Pigeons aren’t so bad.
4926. Are shrimp sea roaches?
Haha, I’ve never heard them referred to as such.
4927. What was the last compliment you received?
I don’t remember.
4928. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer?
4929. Do you ever just stop and listen?
4930. Do you lie your way out of things?
I used to.
4931. What only happens once in a lifetime?
4933. Is this life just practice?
Practice for what?
4934. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible?
That Google will take over the world.
4935. What gives you happy shivers?
4936. Do you have a new attitude?
4937. Have you ever read at a poetry reading?
your own poem?
Indeed. I won some award thingy and they wanted me to read.
4938. Do you feel more like laughing or crying?
I feel like singing, actually. Time for some Boston!
4939. Who is brilliant?
4941. Who just needs a little love?
4942. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive?
I suck at manual dexterity, so yes.
4943. Start a sentance with the words what if:
“What if we found happiness?
4944. Is life all fun and games?
Depends on how you look at it.
Should it be?
4945. What is the highest number you can count to in your head?
Over NINE THOUSAAAND!
4947. What is your favorite flavor of coffee?
4948. Do you ever think about time travel?
Hahahahaha, my NaNo makes me want to kill myself.
4949. What does the number 49 remind you of?
Vancouver. Dammit, Vancouver.
4950. What’s your favorite movie that involves dancing?
Is there dancing in The Brave Little Toaster? I guess they jive with the animals in the forest, eh?
4951. How often do you:
see this survey somewhere on the main page?
check out other people who are doing this survey?
I did at the beginning.
4952. How many minutes (on average) does it take you to complete one section of this survey that is 50 questions long?
It takes me like five hours ’cause I always get distracted by other oh hey I should go check Tumblr for the eightieth time today.
4953. Multiply that number by 100 to find the aproximate number of minutes you have spent on the entire survey:
Actually, it varies quite a bit now that I think about it.
4956. Do you wish you had that time back?
What’s done is done.
4957. Are you going to miss this survey when it is gone?
Yes, but I’m sure my readers won’t.
4958. What are you going to fill your free time up with when this is over?
4959. Did you learn anything about yourself by taking this?
That I have no life.
4960. Did you learn anything about me (age, gender, tastes, impression, etc)?
Spelling. It’s an issue for you.
4961. Has doing nothing ever felt so good as when you’re doing this survey?
I can think of better things.
4962. You are about to complete the survey. Are you proud?
4963. Name 3 things everyone should know about you:
I love statistics, I love color, and I’m obnoxious.
4964. Have they changed since you started this survey (that was question 2)?
I don’t even know what my first answer was.
4965. What date did you start this survey?
Pfft, like two years ago.
What date is it today?
How many days is that in all?
Too many for this nonsense.
4966. Did you enjoy the start, middle, or end of the survey more?
The middle wasn’t bad.
4967. Were you still interested by the end or did you just want to finish out of stubborness?
4968. Do you have a favorite part of the survey?
Man, it’s taken me so long to do this that I can’t remember way back when.
4969. Would you finish the survey if it was upped to 10,000 questions?
4970. Did you feel like the survey covered enough different topics or did it seem limited?
It was fine.
4971. Did anyone read your survey all the way through?
4972. In a few minutes, when you finish, will you feel like you’ve accomplished something?
4973. Were you avoiding anything by doing this survey?
4974. How would you describe taking this survey to someone who hasn’t taken it?
“Get Spell Check a’goin’.”
4975. Is there any topic or topics that this survey covered to often?
A lot of questions dated it quite severely.
4976. Will you be glad it’s over or bummed that it’s gone?
Both. Though I’m sure my readers are like “THANK GOD”
4977. Give the survey a a rating from one to ten for interestingness (1 is super interesting):
4979. Are all endings really beginings in disguise?
In a way.
4980. Are you ever going to read over your survey answers?
Maybe. Doubtful, though.
4981. If you retook this survey in 1 year would most of your answers stay the same?
4982. How did you find this survey to begin with?
Haha, I can’t remember, actually.
4983. what made you decide to take it?
Dude. It’s what I do.
4984. Is this the best survey you’ve ever taken?
4985. Could you write 5,000 questions for a survey (I’d take it, if you did)?
Probably. Hell, I have enough experience with surveys to do so.
4986. Name something more fun than filling out this survey:
Obsessing over Leibniz.
Name something filling out this survey was more fun than:
4987. Should the survey have been more organized, for ex. should each section have had it’s own theme?
I’m always for more organization, yo.
4988. Were the questions
No such thing!
Some of them, yes.
Some were too dated to be relevant at all anymore.
4989. What will you miss most about this survey?
Using it on days where I have nothing else ot talk about, haha.
4990. If we met would we likly become friends?
4991. Are we friends now?
Well, you know an awful lot about me now, eh?
4992. Are you getting excited?
4993. Did you inspire or offer a question in this survey?
4994. Is your heart beat rising?
OH GOD THE ANTICIPATION
4995. Would you go insane if the survey eneded right here, before reaching 5,000?
That would be hilarious yet tragic.
4996. I’ve asked you so many questions. What question would you like to ask me?
What motivated you to write 5,000 questions in survey form?
4997. Is there a subject that you love so much you wish all 5,000 questions had been about it (David Bowie for instance)?
Statistics. Philosophy. Leibniz.
4998. Are you shivering with anticipation?
4999. Are you about to party like we’re at question 4,999?
Hell yeah, get the Red Bull.
5000. Are you still the same person you wre when you began this survey?
We’re never the same.
Congratulations! You’ve officially finished the 5,000 Question Survey!
801. Have you ever been to poetry.com?
Have they offered to publish or honor you?
Are you aware that this is a scam?
4802. Is joy more stressful than stress is joyful?
4803. Should history be taught as a series of patriotic myths about heros or should it be taught accurately and truthfully?
Accurately, but I think there’s a level of cultural value to the myths we create.
4805. Do you practice zen driving (just following someone who looks like they know where they’re going and hoping it turns out alright)?
That sounds creepy.
4806. If you saw two monkeys getting it on at the zoo and a child asked you, ‘What’re those 4808. You find a website that will match you up with a lonely soldier who has no family to write to him and you would become his pen pal. Would you participate even if you were personally against the war?
Yeah, that actually seems pretty cool.
If yes, would it be hard for you to keep your political opinions out of the letters?
4809. What kind of email would you like to get everyday?
Any. I like surprises!
4811. Would you ever refer to shakesphere as ‘willie the shake’?
I will now.
4812. When was the last time you talked about your soul?
NO SOULS! MONADS!
4813. Why is the TV show Married By America making a big deal out of how these couples will marry each other ‘sight unseen’ when no one in the compititon is unattractive?
I have no idea, I’ve never seen it.
4814. You have made a friend on the internet. You talk deeply all the time but have never met or even seen pictures of each other. You finally decide to meet. He or she tells you that he or she will be waiting for you in the air port lobby wearing a black dress/suit and a rose. You give no description of yourself. When you get there you see someone wearing black and a rose but they are very very overweight. Do you go over and tell them who you are anyway?
Dude, I would freaking SPRINT over there.
4815. Have you ever sent someone from the internet to a place to meet you but you had no intention of showing up?
4816. PETA (animal rights activists) started an ad compaign recently showing pictures from concentration camps and comparing the mistreatment and death of animals to the holocaust. Your reaction?
Oh PETA. I support your message, but you’re so screwed up now that no one takes you seriously.
4817. Who do you feel inferior to?
Who do you feel superior to?
4819. What do you dislike so much that you could write 4 entries in one day about it?
Microsoft Word’s default font being changed from Times New Roman to Calibri. Yes, that still irritates the crap out of me.
4820. What do you think of notes that have a very good point but are left unsigned?
Nothing wrong with that.
4821. Why do people often say that the arabs just don’t want to farm and industrialize when they invented farming and industry?
People say that?
Doesn’t this show a lack of respect for arab culture?
Sounds like it.
4823. You know that the rising terror alert is all propaganda, right?
Ah, early 2000’s. Bush land.
4824. At what age does dying your hair with manic panic become undignified?
No one’s too old for crazy hair colors.
4826. What do you think of hot pink hoop earings?
4827. What has something for everyone?
That black bag the Wizard had in The Wizard of Oz!
4828. What dish would you bring to a pot luck dinner?
4829. How many people are you friends with that live or have lived in another country?
Quite a few. I chilled in Canada for a few years, remember.
4830. How much would you bet thet there will NOT be another terrorist attack on AMerica this year?
There wasn’t in 2001, was there?
4831. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That’s life, man.
4832. Name a person you seriously dislike because of their actions:
I can’t think of anyone specific.
name a person you seriously like because of their actions:
Would you rather see a really good thing happen to the person you dislike or a really bad thing happen to the person you like?
Good thing to the person I dislike. I wouldn’t want to wish a bad thing on anyone.
4833. Do you know someone who has threatened to commit suicide?
‘sucessfully’ killed themsleves?
4834. Why do you think the world suicide rate is rising?
It probably is, but that’s probably just a side effect of the world population rising in general.
4835. A woman from New Zealand has offered to let herself by crucified, literally, by G W Bush in exchange for him not going to war. Furthermore, she says he doesn’t have the “courage” to do it. Your reaction?
Dated survey is bringing back bad memories of the Bush years.
4836. Which Mike is more insane, Jackson or Tyson?
They’re both pretty crazy.
4837. “It’s not my business to inject myself into human wars.” — PETA President Ingrid Newkirk, telling The Washington Post why she asked Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat to ensure no more donkeys were used in attacks against Israelis, but would not ask him to intervene for people. Your reaction?
If PETA wants us to treat animals equal to humans (or at least with respect), it seems kind of hypocritical to not treat humans with that same level of respect.
4838. Is today an easy day for you?
4839. Tyler Dirden says ‘Let me never be complete.’ Do you agree?
Yes! I always want to be able to be someone more.
4840. What movie did you have to turn away from in horror, disgust, or fear?
4841. What does KMFDM stand for?
Isn’t that a band?
4842. Have you ever met anyone that you can’t help being fond of because they remind you of yourself?
4843. If you met yourself 8 years ago would you more likely beat yourself up or give yourself a hug?
I’d push myself down the stairs.
4844. Do you have a nervous laugh?
I have a dumb laugh regardless of nervousness.
4845. What’s your favorite milkshake flavor?
I don’t like milkshakes.
4846. How long, at the very least, should two people be in a relationship before marriage?
4847. How many years can two people be in a relationship without marrying before you start wondering when they are getting married and why they haven’t married already?
I don’t think marriage is a necessary step after some given interval of time.
4848. What challenges you?
Challenge butter! Haha, I don’t know.
4849. What irritates you?
4850. What bores you?
Economics. Statistics RULES, but econ bores me.
4851. Have you paid your parents back for raising you?
Not in the slightest, unfortunately.
4852. In America public schools are funded with the property taxes from the houses within the school district. Imagine you live in a wealthy area with very good public schools. How would you feel about students from a less wealthy area being bussed into your school district at no extra charge to their parents?
I don’t see a problem with that, I don’t think.
4853. Should a child’s education really depend on how much money their parent’s have?
4854. Would you only feel required to help your own kids get a good education?
Everyone should get the opportunity to get a good education.
4855. Would it benefit you personally if all children had access to a good education?
Probably in some way, yes.
4856. Andrew J. O’Conner, a former public defender from Santa Fe, was arrested in a public library and interrogated by Secret Service agents for five hours on February 13th. His crime? He said “Bush is out of control” on an internet chat room, and was arrested for threatening the President. Your thoughts?
That’s pretty ridiculous, but given the questions in this survey, it was probably written in like 2002 or 2003 when “terrorist” was THE buzzword. So unfortunately I’m not surprised by the story.
4857. Let’s play a drinking game where we drink everytime Bush says ‘axis of evil’ or ‘evil doers’ or ‘weapons of mass destruction’. How many times do you imagine you would have to drink in one hour?
There would be mass death due to alcohol poison.
4858. Do vegans really live longer than meat eaters?
I think the studies are inconclusive.
Do they smell better?
You’re asking the wrong girl.
4859. Do you want a lover you don’t have to love?
God no. I want a lover I love to love.
4860. Do you believe that anyone can get ahead and if they don’t it’s because they are lazy and not trying hard enough?
4861. Do you forget to look at the different opportunities available to different people?
I don’t think so.
4862. Do you often look at a subject without looking at why it is the way it is?
I think we all do that quite a lot. Human nature.
4863. Do you read any fan fiction?
I do indeed.
4864. What did you think of the English patient?
I never saw it.
4866. Have you ever created your own ‘what ___ are you’ quiz?
4867. What do you think of the Dixie Chicks?
4868. Are you looking for love?
In all the worng places?
4869. What do you feel like complaining about?
Nothing right now.
4870. What do you feel like celebrating?
4871. Can a person speak out against their government and still support their country?
4872. Do you believe your government has a file on you somewhere?
What kind of stuff do you suppose is in it?
Everything Google’s collected on me. So…everything.
4873. Do you own a $2 bill?
Is it lucky?
No. It’s just in my wallet.
4874. Would you rather date someone 3 feet tall or 9 feet tall?
3 feet tall.
4875. What do you think of Americans calling fries and toast fried in egg batter Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast instead of French Fries and French toast?
I think it’s hilarious. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get a Freedom manicure.
4876. Would you rather have a child that is more confident or more curious?
4877. If you were going to write a bedtime story for someone you loved what would it be about?
Nakedness and cheesecake. ‘Cause why not?
4878. What is your element?
CARBON! Ha. I’m hilarious.
4879. When are you at a loss for words?
When someone steals my dictionary.
4880. What gets you through the night?
Shutting my brain off and going to sleep.
4881. What is the worst time to be alone?
There’s a certain type of “depressed” I get every once and awhile. It really sucks being alone then.
4882. When are you the most emotionally vulnerable?
When someone steals my dictionary
4883. How would you tell your friend his fly was open in public?
“DUDE your fly’s open!”
4884. Does a good friend tell you you’ve got something in your teeth or pretend not to notice it?
Depends on the situation.
4886. Do you have a good luck charm?
Bah! No need.
4887. What is the essence of You?
4888. A word to the wise:
4889. Do you photograph well?
Oh god no. I am the least photogenic person on the planet.
4890. Is it a great day to be alive?
4891. What would you consider to be better than sex?
A lot of things.
4892. Some people are just so…
4893. What evil is necessary?
“Evil” is subjective.
4894. What would you do anything for?
4895. Do famous people have the same right to speak their political veiws as regular people?
4896. Are your best years gone by?
4897. Are you ordinary?
In some respects.
4898. What are you recovering from?
Grad school. Yes, still.
4899. Did Gilligan ever get off that island?
4900. What do you think people think when they first meet you?
“What the hell is that?!”
4701. What is your reaction to beggars and homeless on the streets?
It upsets me that we live in a world where people don’t have shelter.
Are they lazy?
Homeless people are, in many cases, people who have fallen victim to really crappy circumstances, NOT lazy.
4702. Does pure altruism exist?
Depends on how you define “pure”
4703. Is ‘You like me and I like it all’ an attitude you might have?
4704. Finish the words.
4705. What’s your favorite science fiction movie?
Can “Tremors” count? “Tremors.”
Make it a double feature. What’s your second favorite?
Anything reviewed by MST3K.
4706. If you had a remote control for people who would you set on mute?
Everyone, but only for short periods.
4707. When have you felt like you were living in the twilight zone?
That time I watched The Twilight Zone
4708. Do you have penis envy?
Do you have vagina envy?
Haha, I hope not.
4710. A child is born in Boston, Mass., to parents who were both born in Boston, Mass. The child is not a U.S. citizen. How is this possible?
That child’s born before 1776!
4711. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mt. Everest was the highest mountain on earth regardless of whether we knew about it or not (that is, it has been since tectonic rubbin’ and slidin’ caused it to be so).
4712. If you had to choose between being 3ft. tall or 9ft. tall which would you be?
4711. If you could know the answer to any 3 questions, what would they be?:
“How did the universe begin?”
“How will the universe end?”
“What does infinite time feel like?”
4712. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
4713. Would it disturb you much if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods and left to rot? Why?
Wouldn’t bother me. I’d rather be available food to animals/worms/microbes than take up space in a sealed box underground.
4714. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death?
4715. Would you be willing to give up all television for the next 5 years if it meant 1,000 starving children in Indonesia would eat and get medical care?
4716. Name a close friend of the opposite sex:
Imagine they are from another country, visiting yours. Their visa is almost expired and if they get sent back to their country they may never get another visa to leave again. Would you marry them if after two years you could divorce them and they would be allowed to stay in your country?
That would be the most hilarious situation ever.
4717. Do you always call/email in when you take a day off from schol or work?
I don’t take days off.
4718. A fatalist believes that the future is mapped out in a pattern. A causalist believes that every event is tied to a previous event. Neither believes in free will. An indeterminist believes in total free will. Which are you?
Free will is an illusion! The universe is deterministic! Free will is an illusion!
4719. Would you rather have a masters degree in ecconomics or creative writing?
4718. Do you feel the need to defend the honor of your family and demand respect?
4719. What do you think about that no one else thinks about?
Stuff you’ll never know! I’m not telling.
4720. Which of the following best describes you:
A laid back person who enjoys watching sports and playing with computers.
An apathetic person who is open minded and passionate about music.
A fiesty person who lacks an attention span.
Avant garde and over confident.
I am none of these things. Except passionate about music.
4721. Why are so many letters silent in French?
Why pick on French? Why can’t English make up its mind about how to pronounce stuff? Why doesn’t English get cool little letter accents like other languages. HOW DOES SOMEONE WITH PARASIGMATISM EXPLAIN THEIR SPEECH IMPEDIMENT?!
4723. What, besides genetics and besides your environment and experiances, makes you what/who you are?
4725. What do you find:
impressive: the universe
unimpressive: Kim Kardashian
4726. How easily do you understand Shakesphere?
Fairly easily. Better than I used to.
4729. What’s your favorite girl scout cookie?
Trefoils are BADASS.
Is it made from real girl scouts?
Three per cookie.
4730. How do you open your car door when it freezes shut?
I have no car.
4731. Why is it that 95 percent of the letters in french words are not pronounced?
What’s with the French-bashing?
4732. What are you Dreading?
My hair! Hahaha, hilarity.
4733. When will your ship come in?
When it damn well pleases!
4734. Do you create your art for free?
4735. The Pope’s recent message to George Bush is ‘Go into Iraq and you go without God’. What do you think of this quote?
Rock it, Pope!
4736. Have/would you ever taken a botany (plants) course?
That would be cool.
4737. Are you using your own computere or someone else’s to take this survey?
Oh my god the spelling keeps deteriorating.
My own “computer.”
4742. Is it true what they say about Star Trek movies, that only evey other one is worth seeing?
I don’t know, I’ve never seen Star Trek.
4743. Someone once said, ‘Every possible outcome of something takes place in a parallel universe. So there is free will, but your choises only determine which of those parallel universes you live in.’ Your reaction?
I don’t think parallel universes necessitate free will. Maybe in each possible universe all the “choices” within that universe are already determined.
4745. Is there a difference between what is legal and what is ethical?
Should there be?
Ethics are such a grey area. Legality probably shouldn’t be that grey.
4748. When looking at a clear night sky what constallations can you locate?
The Big Dipper’s over our house when we can see it, but that’s about it, haha.
4749. What movie has the worst ending ever?
“Dude, Where’s My Car?”, if by “ending” you mean “whole plot”
The best ending ever?
I really liked the director’s cut ending of “The Butterfly Effect.” I caught the end of the movie on TV a few weeks ago and was like “what is this nonsense?” before realizing that they were televising the edited ending.
4750. Are you feelin’ groovey?
4751. Oh the tangled web we weave when:
We pretend we’re spiders.
4752. Do you own anything velvet?
4753. Who have you been friends with the longest?
How long have you two been friends?
We were in the same preschool class.
4754. Who do you feel like you are in competition with?
4756. What subject are you so familliar with that you could you write an FAQ (frequently asked questions) list about it?
Fit indices used in structural equation modeling
What would one question on that list be?
“Do any of these damn indices work like they’re supposed to?”
What is the answer to that question?
4757. ‘Don’t use the rules.
They’re not for you – they’re for the fools
and you’re a fool if you don’t know that.
So use the rules you stupid fool’
How do you feel about these Clash lyrics?
4759. Have you read any of Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty books?
If yes, what did you think of them?
Horses freak me out.
4760. Can you do any voices or impressions and if yes, what ones?
I can imitate Barney Rubble surprisingly well. Blame Nick for that discovery.
4761. Guys, is it true that gentlemen prefer blondes? Girls, do blondes really have more fun?
You should ask a blonde.
4762. Do you enjoy sneaking up on people?
4763. Do you often break plans?
I try not to.
4764. “Angry” and “hungry” are two words that end in “gry”. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it every day. Look closely and I have already given you the third word. What is it?
Isn’t this a trick? Isn’t it “language”?
4765. Does anyone smoke in your home?
4766. Have you ever actually seen a pink elephant?
My life is pink elephant.
4767. The answer to 4764 is “language”. Did you get it?
HA I knew it.
4768. What was the most embaressing or crazy thing you ever dreamed?
I had that dream about Lady Gaga’s underwear that one time.
4769. Are you depraved (marked by corruption or evil; perverted)?
I’m a band geek, of course I’m perverted.
4770. Who or what comes to mind when youhear the words:
the dangerous objects factory?
A scissors factory. Don’t run!
the dude who says dude?
Isn’t that from a movie?
the man in black?
the catastrophe involving food?
My attempts at cooking.
4771. In blackjack, do you often double down?
That sounds dirty.
4772. Who’s the big winner?
4773. Who do you care more about, your close friend in elementary school that you lost touh with or your first lover?
My old friend Anastasia.
4774. What’s your favorite part of a cat?
Its purr box!
4775. What was on the last cd you burned?
Haha, I can’t remember.
4776. If you wanted to learn a new language would you consider buying a Disney movie in that language to pick up pronunciation?
Sure, why not?
What Disney movie?
4777. Is there a modern plague? What?
4778. Are your baths and showers so hot that your skin gets red?
4779. When you dry your body after a shower do you dry your parts in the same order each time, almost automatically, or do you dry your prts in a random order each time, thinking about it while you’re doing it?
There’s a time and a place to feel myself up, and it’s not when I’m freezing cold after a shower.
4780. Do you feel like those who are speak a language around you that you can’t understand are making fun of you?
4781. If you were blindfolded and your love/partner was placed in a line of fifty people could you pick him or her out only by:
I don’t have a “love/partner”, but let’s pretend it’s a certain someone, eh?
touching the face of each person?
feeling one elbow of each person?
smelling the breath of each person?
licking the neck of each person?
listening to the breathing of each person?
psychically sensing each person?
4782. Close your eyes and turn your head towards the room you are in. Open your eyes. Describe the first object you see without telling what it is:
A cerulean piece of cloth with a big yellow cross on it.
4783. What three questions will you never say NO to?
“Do you love statistics?”
“Want to wear this ostentatious [insert piece of clothing ere]?”
“Would you want to be able to smell?”
4784. Would you like to see an American in Paris?
Is that a movie? I’ve never seen it.
4785. Are you more of a couch or a scratching post?
I’m a Saturday.
4786. What is more important, imagination or knowledge?
Both are important!
4787. Would you consider modern life to be rubbish?
Life is what you make of it.
4788. What’s the most sinful food?
Iniquity O’s! Now frosted with Original Sinnimon.
Yeah, I went there.
4789. Name one thing about yourself that you are excessivly proud of:
The fact that I can spell ‘excessively.” Or my immune system. Can one be excessively proud of one’s immune system?
4790. If you went to Hell (imagining there is one) rank these punishments in order of the one you would most prefer to the one you would least prefer.
being broken on the wheel: 4
being put in freezing water: 1
being force fed rats and snakes: 6
being smothered by brimstone and fire: 2
being dismembered alive: 7
being boiled in oil: 5
being thrown into snake pits: 3
4791. What other windows or websites do you have open on your computer right now?
Oh man. iTunes, MSN Messenger talking to my mom, R, Tinn-R, four Word documents, two IE windows, one with seven tabs, one with three. Party all the time.
4792. What kind of student were you in kindergarten?
I was a good student. I was quiet, I think. I monopolized the blocks to build massive structures.
4793. What misjudgment do many people make about you?
That I’m like twelve years old. I’m 24, dammit!
4794. If you had been named according to your personality what would your name be?
I’d have the same name. “Claudia” means “lame”, you know.
4795. What is made for kids but you love it anyway?
Oh my god, those little motorized mini Jeep things that are made for like five year olds. I ALWAYS WANTED ONE. But they only hold like 80 pounds so now I’m too fat for them. Sad day.
4796. Do you believe that China shuld cease to occupy Tibet?
4798. Dedicate a song to someone now.
“Say Goodnight and Go”
That’s a secret. :)
What line from that song most makes you think about this person?
“And then I’m left in bits, recovering tectonic trembling/You get me every time”
4799. Can you live completely in the moment giving no thought to past or future?
4800. Can you honestly say that nothing bothers you?
I’m me. Everything bothers me.
4601. What do you think of rappers who talk about raping and killing their mother?
I think that’s a pretty horrible topic for a song.
4602. Are you art?
Aren’t we all?
4603. Do you think that most writers musicians and artists make art or lve art?
That typo could either be “love” or “live.” I’ll say it means “live.” So I think that most live art.
What would you prefer them do?
4604. Iraq is destroying its missles and the white house is still not happy. Why not?
Oh, Bush era. How I do not miss you.
4605. Do you find americans to be a very sterile and emotionless people?
Quite the opposite, actually.
4606. What do we talk about when we talk about love?
Love is subjective.
4607. Would you write a song about how horrible your mom is in order to sell more records?
Why would anyone want to hear that anyway?
4608. Do you think that eminem is genuine or doing it all for show (even his mom says it’s all for show)?
I have no idea, but Eminem’s hilarious.
4609. Should juveniles be tried as adults if they commit murder?
In some cases, yes.
4610. Should there be laws to restrict breeding?
Should the laws include getting a high score on an iq test?
Should the laws include proving that you can/will be able to provide care and support for the child?/
Should the laws include a background check to determine whether you will be a fit parent?
4611. Would you/have you ever committed statutory rape (had sex with someone 17 or younger while you were 18 or older)?
4612. Do you believe that Mcdonald’s should be held responsible for it’s customer’s obesity?
4613. Did you know that 1/2 of american adults read at an 8th grade level or below (I just saw it on foxnews)?
Did not know that.
What do you think of this?
Doesn’t surprise me.
4614. Do you drink tea with honey?
4615. Do bees and wasps terrify you?
Not “terrify,” but I don’t like them.
4616. How do you decide what to say and do when someone puts the spotlight on you?
I usually get too nervous to make any decisions.
4617. Are you more muddy or clean??
4618. If consciousness could speak what would it say?
“Go to sleep and let me rest!”
4619. Is Leslie a good name for a man?
I love that name for a dude.
4620. Why do men feel they have the right to look woman up and down?
4621. Are you pristine?
4621. Do you want to blind people with your wet-look lipgloss?
4622. How many years is too big of an age difference for a couple?
As long as there isn’t any sort of legal issue, then there is no such thing as “too big” of an age difference in my opinion.
4624. China and France are both opposed to war with Iraq. What do you think of this?
I’m with them.
4627. Who’s the sexiest ghostbuster?
I’ve never seen Ghostbusters.
4628. Are you a humanitarian?
I try to be.
4629. Have you ever seen the Tommy and Pamela Anderson honeymoon sex video?
Do you think it was meant to be private or a publicity stunt?
Who knows, who cares.
4630. Are you a cat expert?
4631. Go Go Gadget:
4632. What’s your idea of fun?
Doing stats. Walking. Being a spazz.
4633. At what age will you panic about feeling old?
Been there, done that.
4634. It’s you and ___ against the world.
4635. Are you the keymaster or the gatekeeper?
This sounds dirty.
4636. When is the end of the world going to be?
4638. Do you yell at the tv when the news disturbs you?
4639. Is society too sick to survive?
We’re getting there.
4640. Have you ever been involved in a ritual?
Ever been to Catholic school?
4641. What the hell do YOU want?????
4642. Have you seen finnian’s rainbow?
4643. Weezer’s best album is:
It’s got most of their good songs on it. Beverly Hills, man!
4644. Fast food of choice is for you:
I dig McDonald’s. I’m not going to lie. Their fries are da bomb.
4645. What song is in your head RIGHT NOW!!!??
4646. Is this a magic monet?
Of course it is.
4647. A theme song you hate is:
I always found the theme song to The Secret Life of the American Teenager to be obnoxious as hell.
4648. What words can you come up with by anagraming your name?
“Claudia Marie Mahler” anagrams to “A Lame Child Aura.” Take from that what you will.
4649. Are you a magician?
4650. What kind of waffles suit you best?
This is the most important question ever.
4651. It’s the olden days and your father is going to drive all the way from the big city. He wants to bring something back for you. What do you ask him for?
I have no idea.
4652. Have you ever watched Little House on the Prairie?
4653. How did Columbus discover America when people were already living here?
Discovery is relative.
4654. How far can you spit?
Uh…I’ve never measured.
4655. What drinks do you know how to mix?
Uh…I can stir powdered fiber into a water bottle? Hahaha, I know, I suck.
4656. What does the perfect engagement ring look like?
4657. How do you feel about arranged marriages?
I’m not a fan of marriage in general, considering the failure rate.
4658. Do you talk to angels?
Not that I’m aware of.
4659. What are you worried bout?
Everything. It’s my nature.
4660. How often do you touch people in conversations?
4661. Do you read in bed?
I haven’t in a long time.
4662. How many sick days in a row do you take off from school or work?
I’m never sick.
4663. There are three nursery schools. Nursery school one has children sit together around tables. It emphasizes group play. It has building blocks that are very large, so large that it takes two or more children to lift them, in order to teach working together. It is moderately decorated and encourages the imagination by providing less materials for the children. There is one teacher per classroom and the teacher likes to allow the children to work out their own problems.
Nursery school two has many materials for the children and is brightly colored and decorated. There are two teachers per class and the teachers activly intervene between the children. There are different stations (painting, blocks, etc) and the children are encouraged to make choices about what they like to do and don’t like to do.
Nursery school three emphasizes schedualed activities. The children sit in rows and must work alone, relying on themselves. Everything is very organized and structured. The children wear bright clothing, and are taught to memorize stories and songs. If the parents both work, this school offers whole care, which means the child can stay overnight a few days a week.
Which school would you send your (possibly hypothetical) children to?
The third one.
4664. Each of those nursery schools is in a different country. Which one is in the United States?
Which one is in Japan?
What country is the last nursery school in?
North Korea? Haha, I don’t know.
4665. What hour is your most creative time of day?
Mid-morning. 9, 10 or so.
4666. Does sleeping feel more satisfying when all of your work is done or when there’s something else you should be doing?
Sleep is for mortals.
4667. Here’s a dollar. Put three songs on the juke box.
Songs cost 33.33 cents each?
Uh…Sleepyhead, the Sleepyhead Cillo remix, and the Sleepyhead Jazzsteppa remix. Because.
4668. Do you refer to teenagers as ‘kids’ yet?
4669. What is one thing you thought was the end of the world when you were a teenager (or if you are a teenager name something you thought was the end of the world 5 years ago)?
4670. Are americans uptight about sex?
4671. What boredgames are in your closet?
We used to have one of those OLD Monopoly board games where all the pieces were actually metal and the houses/hotels were wood. I don’t know if we still have it or not. Our fat cat sat in the cardboard lid and busted it up.
4672. What movie quote sticks out in your mind (don’t tell what movie it’s from, let us guess)?
“Disco is NOT dead! Disco is LIFE!”
4673. What is the weirdest song you’ve Ever found yourself enjoying?
4674. Look in a history book. Who would you fuck?
Dudes, if you have to ask that, you haven’t been paying attention to anything I say.
4675. A man in the reserves is being called off to war. He wants to defend his country but he finds that his 1 year old child needs a heart transplant. In his shoes would you stay and care for your child or go and defend your country?
I would go if the child had a mother/caregiver/someone else to care for the little dude.
4676. Is gone with the wind
an accurate movie:
I’ve never seen the movie.
a good movie:
See above. The book was meh.
4678. Is alcohol the water of life?
Not last time I checked.
4679. Name a friend of the opposite sex:
He or she tells you that he or she has always had a crush on you. Your reaction:
4680. Name one of your same sex friends:
He or she tells you that he or she is gay. Your reaction:
Then he or she tells you he or she has always had a crush on you. Your reaction:
Woo! Though her marriage (her ACTUAL marriage) may interfere with any subsequent action.
4681. What was the difference between your reaction to the same sex and the different sex friend? NOTHING! I need a companion.
4682. Where could you go that would be so incredible you would no longer be able to come back to the life you live here and now?
4683. What is the main problem you have with yourself?
I’m an idiot.
4684. When did you wish you could disappear?
4685. Why is it that we call poor-average people crazy and rich people eccentric?
Because we suck.
4686. Is rain on your wedding day a good example of irony?
Only if your name is Alanis.
Can you think of a good example of irony?
Probably, but not right now.
4687. What have you recently changed your mind about?
What to do with the next few years of my life.
4688. What is one thing you won’t allow yourself to have?
An iPhone. Claudia + 24/7 internet access = disaster.
4689. What would you say if Brad Pitt married Rosie O’Donnell?
What about if Catherine Zeta Jones married Drew Carrey?
4690. Name something that there is no wrong way to do:
Eat a Reese’s.
4691. If you and your partner could choose which of you would carry the baby (yes even the male would be able to carry it) who would your vote be for?
Neither. We’d adopt!
4692. If men could get pregnant would abortion become much more acceptable do you think?
4693. When and where have you felt most comfortable being nude?
4694. What subject do you know the most about?
STATISTICS! Or Leibniz.
4695. What is the longest time you have gone between orgasms?
4696. What is the least amount of money you would have to have in order to consider yourself rich?
4697. What words have others used to describe you?
Weird, colorful, short, obsessive.
4698. What is the most extreme thing you would do/have done to alter your appearance?
I lobbed off like a foot of my hair a few years ago.
Why did you/would you do it?
Because my hair is an annoying ball of fuzz and disappointment.
4699. What is the least amount of money you would accept to never have sex again?
I’d probably do it for free, but let’s just say $1 million just in case anyone ever offered.
4700. What has been the hardest secret to keep?
HA LIKE I’D TELL YOU NOW!
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNH WE’RE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS INSANITY!
4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with?
Earthquakes, those unpredictable fools.
4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer?
He’s not too bad.
4503. What movie are you looking forward to?
4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana?
Is this minor detail really important?
4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think?
What I think.
4506. Have you been to see an opera?
I have indeed. It was awesome.
4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty?
4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking?
Not that I’m aware of.
4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused?
No confusion for me.
4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of references in this survey that you are not getting?
God yes. Especially considering it’s like 5 years old.
4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy?
lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy’s dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book
Some flutes, post it notes, bondage gear, house plants, and Snoopy’s dog house. Fun night indeed.
4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of?
drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex
4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan?
4514. Who’d win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith?
4515. Earth girls are:
Not too often down to earth.
4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction?
Cool. Have fun and be careful.
4517. Would you ever consider working for the government?
Census Bureau! Census Bureau!
4518. What are the best and worst television channels?
H2 is pretty great. I don’t know what the worst channel is ‘cause I don’t watch it, haha.
4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw?
4520. Your boots were made for:
4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn’t a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)?
Tremors. That would be awesome.
4522. What’s the buzz?
The fuzz fuzz fuzz.
4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is:
Someone whose name I won’t mention.
4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner?
Quite a long time. Ever seen Cast Away?
4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think?
4526. What would you like to touch?
4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark?
4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn?
4529. Do things just always go right for you?
4530. What’s the best nick toon?
I was never much of a Nick kid.
4531. Can you make a balloon animal?
4532. Would you undress at a nude beach?
That’s what nude beaches are for, yo.
4533. Wherever there’s a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false?
4534. What is today but yesterday’s tommorrow?
It’s tomorrow’s yesterday, too!
4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like Squidward who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him?
I empathize with Squidward, man.
4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day?
I binge drink water. Some days I don’t drink any. Other days I drink like three gallons.
4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness?
Apparently not spelling ability.
4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between?
I’m not a poetry person.
4539. What do you think of William Blake?
I’m not much of a poetry person.
4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete?
In a way, unfortunately.
4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with?
Why the conflict?
‘Cause I’m dumb.
4543. How many contemporary poets can you name?
4545. Are you every parent’s wet dream?
4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not?
Damn those apples!
4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member?
4548. Greatest black and white film:
I’m not much of a movie person.
4549: Greatest film three hours or longer:
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie longer than three hours.
4550. No means…
Meow (5sf reference)
4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or acquaintance how likely are you to criticize it?
Not very. I like to point out the good in those types of things.
4552. Do you mentally reject people?
I try not to.
Before speaking to them?
4553. Are we already living out 1984?
FEAR GOOGLE! FEEEAAAAAAAR GOOOOOOOOOOGLLLLLLEEE!
4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm?
4556. Have you ever been airbrushed?
No. But I could use it. I do not photograph well.
4557. Are you an elitist?
What are you elitist about?
4558. Are you arrogant?
I don’t think so.
4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford
Ghandi peacefully purchased a Ford so he could ford the fjord.
4559. Are you treacherous?
I…don’t think so?
4560. Nam the ten bands/artists you are the biggest fan of:
Muse, Coldplay, Lady GaGa, OneRepublic, Deep Forest, The Guggenheim Grotto, Sugar Ray, Dethklok, Apocalyptica, Capitol Steps
4561. Are you jolly?
Ho ho ho!
4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge?
Uh, not particularly, no.
4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car?
A new car!
4565. What were you born holding?
4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character?
I like big noses.
4568. Who has rejected you?
A lot of people. We’ll not get into that.
Who have you rejected?
Not a big fan of the stalkers.
4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes?
Makes no difference to me.
4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Puff the Magic Dragon! I can see it now:
Who’s the mythical creature that lives by the sea?
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Who frolics in mists of the fair Honah Lee?
Puff the Magic Dragon!
If you’re a young boy who loves that dragon Puff
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Then bring him some string and some wax and some stuff!
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Puff theeee…Magic Dragonnnnn!
4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee?
Oh my god, did I seriously just rewrite the Spongebob song?
4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups?
Fruit Roll-Ups aren’t *terrible.* There are worse things.
4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up?
What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up?
4574. What’s on your pajamas?
4575. Are people nicer in new york or california?
I’ve never been to NY, so I couldn’t tell you.
4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit?
Not Alaska, but Antarctica.
4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone?
I’d never encourage anyone to leave a happy relationship.
4578. Do you play in the snow?
4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time?
Hahaha. I haven’t been in a place that snows in like three years.
4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables?
Oh, like Veggie Tales? We used to watch that all the time in St. Mary’s. We even had Larry and Bob t-shirts.
What vegetable would play Jesus?
This is the most important question in the world.
4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack?
4582. You can’t make this easy can you?
What did I do?!
4584. Are you the open window maniac?
4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?
What exactly do hall monitors do anyway?
Monitor halls. Durh.
4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween?
I wore the same cow costume for Halloween for ten years.
4587. When was the last time you played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc?
Way too long ago.
4588. Can you leap frog?
4589. What was the last strong and clear emotion you felt?
STRONG strong? Despair.
4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot?
Can I be a disco robot?
4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust?
4592. Are you an angel in disguise?
4593. Could you have fun with a jelly fish?
for 12 hours?
This section of the survey reeks of Spongebob Squarepants influence.
4594. Who throws the wildest parties?
Ever been to one of my basement orgies?
4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt?
4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be?
4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet?
I’m Bon Jovi, yo.
4598. have you ever been stung by anything?
A wasp. On my eyelid when I was like 7. Traumatic.
4599. Who’s autograph have you gotten in the last year?
4600. Are you enjoying this?
4401. Do online relationships actually work?
I don’t know.
4402. Did you know who Nora Jones was before the grammys?
I did indeed.
4403. In Maine school teachers are being told by the board of education that cannot criticize the possible upcomming war in front of students because those kids with military parents were getting upset by it in a few cases. What do you think of this?
“Upcoming war?” Wow, this survey is old. Or clairvoyant. I don’t know where educators would even get the opportunity to criticize something like that if they’re sticking to the regular curriculum, unless they’re drawing analogies or something.
4405. Should a convicted murderer have the same right to be on the organ donor waiting list as anyone else?
I don’t know.
4406. Is there a difference between american rights and human rights? If so what is the difference?
There shouldn’t be, no.
4407. What is the only completely instrumental album ever to be labeled as having explicit lyrics?
I have no idea.
4408. Who would you rather put in a box and mail to abu dabbi, Tipper Gore or Hilary Clinton?
Haha. I don’t know anything at all about Tipper.
4409. What are your top three favorite comic strips?
Get Fuzzy, Piled Higher and Deeper, and xkcd (webcomics totally count)
4410. Can you name anything that sucks more than Creed?
4411. Is eminem a genius?
4414. Is there a difference between crisps and crackers?
It probably depends on the region of the US. Or world.
4415. If you were going to download three movies that you wouldn’t have paid for but you’ll watch since they’re free what would you download?
Anything Pixar, yo.
4416. If you had a ferret what would you name it?
Parrot. Parrot the Ferret. Confuse the hell out of people.
4417. What do you think of peta?
I agree with what they’re trying to do, but I think they really suck at trying to do it.
4419. Is there a difference between a musical artist and an entertainer?
Entertainers don’t necessarily have to have anything to do with music, so yes.
4420. How would you rank the following people, artist or entertainer?
(1 = best)
Wierd Al: 1
Britney Spears: 4
David Bowie: 3
Marilyn Manson: 9
Tiny Tim: 5
The Monkeys: 7
The Sex Pistols: 8
4421. Why does Polly Pocket no longer fit into your pocket?
That sounds crazy dirty.
4422. Would you eat a cereal called Mud & Bugs?
That sounds awesome.
Yes, there is such a cereal.
4423. If you were a mythical creature which one would you be?
Well, my Chinese zodiac sign is a dragon, so I’ll just say dragon.
4424. What do you think of the new pregnant barbie (called happy family barbie)?
I had no idea there was a new pregnant Barbie.
4425. What is one thing you know is a lie?
That I’m funny.
4426. How is your soul today?
I HAVE NO SOUL
4427. Are you into sci fi?
Only GOOD sci fi. Like Verne and Wells.
4428. What’s a ‘poppet’?
Isn’t it just an alternate word/spelling for “puppet”?
4429. How’s the name Shane?
4430. What is expected of your gender that you don’t quite live up to?
4431. Koolaid. ifr it’ll dye your heair, try to imagine what it does to your stomach:
Gotta love those food dyes!
Do people still dye their hair with koolaid?
4433. What would you never do to get attention?
4434. Should we try to control nature?
4435. Who is the most powerful villain in the universe?
4436. Invent a superhero to deal with that villain?
4437. Who are you desperately missing?
My mom. Sean.
4438. What gives you a feeling of perfection and peace?
4439. Are you already whole and complete or does something make you whole and complete?
My passions make me whole and complete.
4440. Do you prefer the word mankind or humankind?
4441. Do you look good in yellow?
I have no idea. I like yellow, though.
4442. What do you want to win?
4444. What question do you really want to know the answer to:
Of course, the meaning of life.
How much I’m capable of knowing.
4445. The lamest Disney movie ever was:
I haven’t watched much of “new” Disney, but of the old movies I never really liked Sleeping Beauty. I thought it was boring.
4446. One thing you thought you would never miss but do is:
Vancouver. Not grad school, but Vancouver.
4447. In what ways are you a role model?
I’m a hard worker. I seek knowledge. I’m nice.
In what ways are you a bad example?
I have anger issues. I’m not very good at hiding them sometimes.
4448. How is your blood pressure?
On the low side, but not nearly as bad as it was for awhile.
4449. What was your last horrble nightmare about?
That dream in which I had to set off the nuclear bomb to destroy the western half of North America.
4450. Hey you. What do you say?
4451. What is your favorite waste of time (BESIDES this survey)?
My life. HA!
4452. How would you like to die?
Early. I have no desire to grow old.
4453. What are three words or phrases used in your area/dialect that many other areas/dialects wouldn’t be familiar with?
“Palouse”, “Coeur d’Alene”, “Spokane.” I’ve heard “Spokane” pronounced spo-CAIN and SPO-kuh-nee in my many travels across North America this past year.
4454. What are the ages of the oldest and youngest person you’ve ever had sex with?
These values do not exist.
4455. What is the wierdest place you have ever woken up?
On the Orgy Couch.
Did you remember how you got there?
4456. How do you feel when your partner is talking to an ex?
I don’t have a “partner.”
4457. Is there an unrequited (unreturned) love in your life?
4458. What is the most expensive gift you have ever given?
I bought Sean a new laptop, if that counts. He paid me back over time, though, so maybe it doesn’t.
Oh man. Probably Vaio. Maybe Vaio II?
4459. List three traits that might help you to fall madly in love:
1) a kind, nonjudgmental nature
2) an enjoyment for philosophical discussion/debate
3) the ability to turn on and off their maturity switch at a moment’s notice.
4460. Do children like you?
I try to avoid them, so I’m not sure.
4461. If you found your child’s diary would you read it?
Yes, ‘cause I’d want to know if they knew how I ended up with a child.
What if you found the diary of one of your parents?
I’d leave it alone. I’ve had bad experiences reading the journals of my family members.
4462. Have you ever stalked or killed a wild animal?
No. Unless flies count.
4463. True or Fales.
You are moody in the morning:
baby corn freaks you out:
Life is fair:
4464. Name something you are now prepared to reveal about yourself that you weren’t ready to talk about in the past?
I’m pretty open about myself. I can’t think of anything new.
4465. Name a talent someone has of which you are jealous:
Not psyching themselves out before a test. I’ve been in school about 300 years now and I still get major test anxiety.
4466. What would you think if you met yourself at a aprty?
“Who’s this loserpalooza?”
4467. What would you most likely complain about in a Hotel?
Temperature control. Hotels always feel either way too hot or way too cold for me.
4468. Agree or disagree.
men need to be treated like children:
it is possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time:
you often feel pressured by others:
couples should live together before marriage:
4469. If you owned a restraunt what kind of cuisine would you serve?
I’d like to serve really plain, simple food. For people like me who don’t season their food or anything. I know nobody’d come, but that’s what I’d serve.
4470. Three words that describe your ideal day in bed are:
“Not in bed.”
4471. If you had a ticket for a month in paradise where would you go?
Where do you think? Antarctica!
4472. All men like to hear:
All woman like to hear:
4473. If you are a woman what is your most masculine or macho trait or ability?
I have MENERGY!
4474. How would you feel attending the wedding of an ex?
4475. Fiction or nonfiction.
You can lie with a straight face:
You pee in the shower:
you prefer honesty even when it hurts:
uncapped toothpaste causes problems:
4476. What is the longest lust can last?
4477. What would you like to experience while blindfolded?
It’s not actually being blindfolded, but I’d really like to experience one of those restaurants where the food is served to you in complete darkness, usually by a blind wait staff. The idea is that losing a sense will help enhance the other four (or three in some of our cases, haha) and make the experience of the food different, if not more intense.
4479. Name three things you have experianced that would shock your parents:
Haha. I don’t know of much I’ve experienced that I haven’t told at least my mom.
4480. The oddest thing you have ever put in your mouth is:
Aneel’s credit card?
4481. Lie or truth.
love is a battlefield:
you watch too much tv:
woman enjoy sex as much as men do:
you are often tired:
4482. What is the craziest thing you’ve done for attention?
Can I just insert my entire senior year of high school here? I used to “entertain” people during lunch by doing crazy ass stuff. Like finding old cardboard tubes and fashioning them into stilts and walking through the men’s bathroom. Or shoving my clarinet case down my pants and running up and down the hall pretending I had gangrene.
4483. Do you believe in using the silent treatment?
I think it’s pretty immature.
4484. Your most embarrassing thought:
We’re not going to talk about that.
4485. Your most prejudiced thought:
I have no idea.
4486. A shameful moment for you:
We’re not going to talk about that either.
4487. The biggest gamble of your life:
4488. What is your greatest weakness as a friend?
I really suck at getting back to people when they contact me. And answering the phone. Communicating in general.
4489. Yes or No.
complaining is a release:
James Bond movies are sexy:
You feel better when you have a tan:
4490. Do you sometimes enjoy being mean?
Not really. It’s draining.
4491. Are you high maintenance?
I try not to be.
4492. Would you rather assume the role of sexual student or teacher?
4493. How many lovers do you consider to be too many?
That calculation’s up to the lovers, not me.
4494. What fortune would you want to find in a fortune cookie?
“Your tenacity and hard work will get you what you want.”
4495. Nothing says lovin’ like:
A little Leibniz in your pants. If it’s not painfully obvious to those just passing by, I love that man.
4496. Have you seen Bowling for Columbine?
4497. Do you overuse the word genius?
4498. Are you proud of the history of your people?
I think “my people” are band geeks.
4499. Do you think about world destruction?
Sometimes. I like to think about what will take out the human population.
4500. What object could completely symbolize maleness?
XY chromosomes? (In terms of sex, not gender, of course)
How about famaleness?
4301. Suggest a question for the 5,000 question survey:
“Is Leibniz the greatest person EVAR?”
(people can only answer “yes”)
4302. What’s your preferred form of artistic expression (writing, drawing, musicianship, etc…)?
4303. Name one thing that’s overrated:
Name one thing that’s underrated:
4304. Are the Beatles overrated?
I don’t think so, no.
4305. Do you smoke? if so, what brand?
4306. Why do you choose to listen to the music you listen to?
Uh…’cause I like it?
4308. Are personal ads acts of desperation?
No. They’re an act of loneliness. Nothing wrong with that.
4309. Have you ever been/are you a vegetarian?
Nope. Got my reasons for that, too.
4310. Who are the three most important musical artists in your life?
Passion Pit. Just because of Sleepyhead. The day that song is knocked from the “Claudia’s Absolute Favorite Song” pedestal will be a day I find a level of perfection unknown to man.
Coldplay. I’ve liked Coldplay for quite a few years now and in my opinion they’ve been getting better and better. “Paradise” is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.
Lady Gaga. Because she rules.
4311. do you find it disrespectful when contemporary musicians cover older ones?
Not if they’re not jerks about it, no.
How about when people attribute the writing of these songs to the bands that only covered them?
That can get obnoxious.
4312. Do you believe in arming civilians?
4313. Do you find desolation and darkness sometimes beautiful?
Indeed I do.
4314. If you were drafted to fight in Afghanistan, would you willingly and proudly go?
Maybe not proudly, but I’d go.
4316. Isle or window seat?
4317. What is your favorite Simpsons character?
I always liked Mr. Burns.
4318. Have you ever been to Mexico?
4319. Are people that wear glasses more or less attractive?
It depends on the person. Some people look really good with glasses, some don’t.
4320. What sucks more, a Mini Van or SUV?
Dude, a vehicle is vehicle. I’d take either at this point.
4321. Are the days of writing and mailing letters lost?
4322. What do you think about right before you go to sleep?
4323. Do I ever cross your mind – anytime?
Random song lyrics FTW.
4324. Have you ever solved a Rubix Cube?
I’ve never tried.
4325. Why is everyone so emotionally and spiritually dead????
‘Cause we’ve got texting and Facebook and Twitter and smartphones, what more do we need?
I’ll answer later, I’m busy texting on my smartphone.
4326. What can you feel BURNING UP inside your head?
I THREW A LIGHTED MATCH IN THERE OH GOD
4327. What life experience do you have?
Not much. Haha, I’m boring.
4328. Have you ever hit rock bottom?
Indeed I have.
What was that like for you?
I really don’t feel like reliving it right now.
4329. Are you self destructive?
4330. Are you very extreme?
In some ways, yes.
4331. Are you completely full or do you feel empty?
I’m full of MENERGY!
4332. Can you turn the whole world inside out?
Physically? Haha, that would be amusing.
4333. Are you potentially a criminal?
Aren’t we all?
4334. Where is your PASSION??
4335. Why do we hide our souls?
We don’t have souls.
4336. How many times have you lied today?
I don’t think I have.
Did you just lie to that question?
4337. Do you always notice when you are lying?
I don’t know.
4338. Do you think that lieing is so built into our culture that we can’t help it?
“Little” lies, yes.
4339. What are fighting against?
4340. Give the following things a rating. One is compltely normal, ten is completely crazy/rebelious.
no pircings or tattoos: 1
pink hair: 3
openly discussing sex: 4
bob marley: 2
green hair: 3
extreme emotion: 5
a tie: 1
spiked bracelets: 2
4341. What’d you think of the grammys?
I “sort of” watched it. That was awhile ago.
4342. When you see the stars and the waves crash in how do you feel?
Full of MENERGY!
4343. What do you think about under a midnight sky?
Stuff that makes me cry. Nighttime is sad time.
4344. Who are ‘they’?
4345. Who cares what they think???
Sometimes it matters. Most of the time it doesn’t.
4346. Do you ever let them stop you?
I try not to.
4347. What would you do if there were no limits?
Reach the asymptote. HA MATH JOKE
There are no limits. Go Do it.
Oooh, I’m touching it!
4348. Will you dance with me?
4349. Will you drink yourself on the floor with me?
I’m not a drinker. I can fake it, though.
4350. Will you sleep in the streets with me?
That sounds oddly romantic.
4351. Courtney love or Madonna:
4352. Do you have a negative attitude towards the opposite sex?
4353. Can you imagine anything that would seriously improve the world?
4354. Have you read the book Venus in Furs?
Did it turn you on?
4355. Velvet Underground with or without Nico?
I’ve never heard the Velvet Underground.
4356. Is there any similarity between what eminem is doing and what manson is doing?
I…don’t think so?
4357. Who wants to be your dog?
That sounds dirty.
4358. Are you SURE you aren’t pretentious(I’ve been reading SOME surveys that sound pretentious to me)?
I hope I’m not. I don’t think I am.
4359. Can you understand and express subtle and complex ideas?
I would like to think so, yes.
4360. Is writing akin to thinking for you?
Sort of. It offers a way to organize the thinking.
4361. What do you imagine it feels like to be a member of the opposite sex?
It’s probably awesome.
4362. Bowie’s Outside, can you tell who the murderer is?
4363. Are you a bad banana with a greasy black peel?
4364. What do you think of the Atkins diet?
I think it’s pretty dumb.
4365. ‘If it bleeds, I will fuck it.’ How does that make you feel?
4366. The greatest shock rocker of all time is:
What’s a shock rocker?
4367. Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, or Red Dragon?
Silence of the Lambs.
4368. If Dr Lechter were to visit you what would you do?
Probably not sprinkle myself with salt and pepper.
4369. Who is your favorite director of movies?
I don’t really classify movies based on their director. Haha, I can actually tell you the composers of more movies than I could directors.
4370. What is Kubrick’s best film?
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Kubrick film.
4371. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking. I don’t want anybody else. When I think about ___ I touch myself.
Leibniz. I AM NOT ASHAMED
4372. Are you overly confident and blinded to your own fraults?
If you were you probably wouldn’t know the extent of it.
4373. Do you like:
Emerson Lake and Palmer?
I haven’t heard music from a single one of these bands/artists.
4374. Do you write your favorite bands on your clothing?
4375. Are you wild and crazy?
When I want to be.
4376. Do you party like River Pheonix?
4377. What is it that you still are hiding?
I’m not telling!
4378. How attractive is a girl is a suit?
Eh. I’ve never been much of a suit person.
How attractive is a guy in a dress?
Dudes in dresses are smexy.
4379. Why is it more acceptable for a girl to dress like a guy than for a guy to dress like a girl?
Because our society is stupid.
4380. Why is being a girl seen as somehow something LESS than being a guy?
4381. What are three things you value?
4382. What are three things you normally do that go against those values in some way?
I eat burritos instead.
I enjoy being a mindless plebian sometimes.
I draw circles.
4385. Name three highly specific things you look for in a potential mate?
Like, how specific is specific?
1. They wear a giant badass wig.
2. They invented calculus.
3. Their first name is Gottfried.
4386. Who is the basis for your comparison when choosing a partner?
I don’t have one.
4387. Have you ever given someone multiple orgasms or received them yourself?
4388. The older generations thought the beatles were hip. Now they think today’s music is shocking. What could music evolve into that people might find more shocking ten years from now?
Hahaha, I think about this a lot, actually. I think things like this will cycle back around. Nicki Minaj will be all wholesome and stuff and The Everly Brothers will be smut, smut, nothing but smut!
4389. Do you have any motives for your actions other than anger and lust?
Greed! Don’t forget greed!
4390. Would you be more likely to rape someone or to kill someone?
This question disturbs me.
4391. What have you read by James Baldwin?
I don’t think I’ve read any Baldwin.
4392. Can you read Naked Lunch straight through in one sitting?
What’s Naked Lunch?
4393. Are you a snob?
I don’t think so.
4394. Fill in the blank. ___ is all there is.
4395. Is common sense dead?
No, but it’s on the floor convulsing.
4396. Are you unapproachable?
People think I’m a weirdo, but I don’t know if I’m unapproachable.
4397. Are you the kind of person strangers like to talk to?
I’m the kind of person the weird dude on the bus talks to, or the funky homeless guy talks to, or the sign spinner in front of the Del Taco gives a sign spinning demonstration to.
4398. Do social interactions energize or drain you (in general)?
They make me super anxious, yo.
4399. What’s the longest you have ever gone between sexual encounters?
4400. Compare John Lennon and Kurt Cobain:
I know nothing about Kurt Cobain.
We’re almost done with this, guys!
4201. Has your life lacked a miracle?
I don’t believe in miracles. At least until Leibniz magically reincarnates.
4202. Would you shoot a terrorist?
Not, like, randomly. If they were in the middle of terrorizing, then yeah, maybe.
4203. Were you an unlovely child?
In my opinion, yes.
4204. In the recent Michael Jackson documentary was he treated fairly?
I have no idea, I never watched it.
4205. New York City and other places along the East Coast have recently been said to be the next terrorist targets. What do you think about this?
Haven’t they always been targets?
4206. What should the last question in this survey be?
DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE?!
4207. Are you more likely to think so deeply about things that you forget to take out the garbage OR be wrapped up in your life andforget to think deeply about things?
Depends on how busy I am.
4208. In what ways are you destructive?
I am incredibly good at breaking drinking glasses.
4209. If you’re not with the one you love can you love the one you’re with?
I think people are capable of romantically loving more than one person at a time.
4210. Why is it that when you hang upside down the blood rushes to your head but when you stand up the blood doesn’t rush to your feet?
Because our circulatory system was designed for “standing up” mode.
4211. Do you demand a better future?
It’s my future and I want it NOW!
4212. Does it make you uncomfortable to meet a person with a handicap or deformity (retarded, deaf, lacking a limb, etc.)?
Why would it make me uncomfortable?
4213. What did you think of the movie Vanilla Sky?
Didn’t see it.
4214. What is your favorite thing to dip into fondue?
Teehee. That sounds dirty.
4215. Are you more like Wayne or Garth?
4216. SNL or Mad TV?
4217. Best three REM songs:
I only know “Losing My Religion.”
4218. Name something you do that might be considered eccentric:
HA. Hahaha. Ha.
4219. Are you hard or easy to love?
I have no idea. I think personality-wise I am, look-wise I’m not.
4220. Could you be the next american idol?
HA. Yeah right.
4221. If you were going on american idol what would you:
What I usually wear. Colorz.
I’d sing “Journey to the Past” from Disney’s Anastasia. It’s right in my vocal range.
4222. Is Simon Cowell sexy or does he suck?
4223. What was the last thing you used a credit card for?
4224. Do you like back or foot massages more?
Neither. I don’t like massages.
4225. If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why oh why can’t I?
‘Cause of those damn tornadoes, yo.
4226. Why do teachers always want blue or black ink?
Easiest to read.
4227. What do you keep your change in?
A little gold purse thingy.
4228. Do you read playgirl or playboy for the articles?
Hahaha, remember when we bought that Playboy in Seattle on the band trip and then fawned over the ladies on the bus ride back? Fun times.
4229. Are you old fashioned? In what ways?
Yeah, but some of the things I’m old fashioned about aren’t currently “socially acceptable” by a lot of people, so yeah. Don’t want to talk about them.
4230. If you were going to get a mentor who would your top three choices be (out of everyone alive)?
I have no idea. All the people I’d want as mentors are dead.
4231. Would you rather visit France or Thailand?
4232. You love your partner but they are a slob. They aren’t likely to change. Your thoughts:
Meh. As long as they’re not offended by my cleaning up their messes, no big deal. I actually wouldn’t mind that. It’d be a way to show love.
4233. Is anything brainwashing people?
Yes. Media and crappy entertainment and such.
4234. If you were a sex psitols song which one would you be (some choices in case you aren’t familiar with them: Holiday in the Sun, Bodies, No Feelings, Liar, Problems, Seventeen, Pretty Vacant, New York, E.M.I.)?
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Sex Pistols song.
4235. Are you more likely to drink moderately and often or drink within an inch of your life but only once in a while?
I’m more likely to not drink at all. Or take like half a day to finish a Guiness.
4236. What scares you most about war?
Uh…the dying part?
4237. You find a man with wings (an angel?) half dead in your back yard. the first thing you do is:
Wasn’t this a short story? I’d try to help heal him if possible.
4238. Why do people go to faith healers when there is so much proof that they are fake?
People do a lot of stupid things, yo.
4239. When someone you care about is really angry with you how do you feel and how do you deal with that feeling?
I get anxious. But that’s pretty much my standard response to everything.
4240. There’s a guy who sometimes get violent with his wife. He will scream ‘I LOVE you!’ While he hurts her. Do you think there could be any love there?
Possibly. Maybe the guy just is expressing love in the way he learned it. Doesn’t excuse the abuse, though.
4242. Is John Malkovitch sexy? Is Billy Corgan?
Is Michael Stipe? Is Moby? Is Sinead O’Connor?
Who are all these people?
4243. Imagine there’s a lepper and he wants to be cured but instead of going away his sores sprout sunflowers? Would that be a miracle? Would that tell you anything about anything?
Best. Question. Ever.
4244. Do you watch people?
4245. Do you have anything that doesn’t belong to you?
Probably, but nothing that the owner doesn’t know about.
4246. what is normal?
Certainly not me. Or my awesome friends.
4247. You are given your own private island. What would you name it, and who is allowed to live there with you?
I’d name it Leibniz Land. I’d let Sean live on it after telling him I bought it off of eBay.
4249. If something is wrong in society and you don’t like it but you do nothing about it, in a way aren’t you supporting it?
No, not necessarily.
4250. Do you like Leslie Nielson?
4251. If you could make a new toothpaste flavor what would it be?
4252, Have you ever called the police or the fire department?
4255. You are on the weakest link with these contestants: a monkey, Simon Coswell, Hayden Christensen, Cher, a guy in a teenage mutant ninja turtle costume and GW Bush. Who do you vote off as the weakest link and why?
HA, I remember that show! Holy crap. I’d vote off Bush…do I really need a reason?
4256. Do you like:
mint ice cream?
With chocolate chips in it, yes.
4257. Does protesting/demonstrating really have any effect?
4259. Have you ever wanted to be with someone who was off limits?
4260. Have you ever wanted someone so badly that you would kiss your hand imagining it was them?
We used to do this in elementary school during church. ‘Cause, you know, we were taking the religion thing so seriously.
4261. Are there any situations when cheating on someone is okay?
4262. When you feel empty inside what do you fill yourself up with?
4263. Would you rather be loved or desired?
4264. When you remember something do you remember yourself to be more or less graceful/positive/smooth than you actually were?
Probably more. Don’t we all?
4265. How can you tell the days of the week apart without using a calander?
Use a watch! Hahaha. I’m funny.
4267. What 3 things about you have shaped your life the most?
My screwed up approach to school, my screwed up approach to relationships, and my awesome parents.
4268. Is your mind awake?
It’s getting there. I hope.
Is your soul?
We don’t have souls.
Were they always?
If not, can you remember a moment or a few moments that helped you wake up?
I like to think that spring semester 2007 was my “Age of Enlightenment.” I remember rehearsing O Magnum Mysterium in the admin building and being totally overwhelmed with feeling like my mind had “opened” to the universe. It was pretty freaking amazing.
4269. Have you ever misperceived what was going on only to discover it when it was too late?
Story of my life, man.
4270. Do you understand the human heart?
The fundamentals, yes.
Oh, ha, you probably mean “heart” as in “love”, huh?
4271. How important is your weight?
It…bothers me. That’s all I’m going to say.
How important is your partner’s weight?
As long as they’re not too unhealthy due to their weight, it doesn’t matter at all.
4272. What color is the wind?
Multicolored, according to Pocahontas.
4273. Do you believe children or adults know more?
Depends on the subject.
4274. Do you believe you are crazy?
Aren’t we all?
4275. Did you predict the ending to Joe Millionaire?
Is there something you care about less than you care about Joe Millionaire?
4276. Snow blower or shovel?
4277. List everything you ate in the last 24 hours?
Spaghetti with parmesan, some M&Ms, an egg. I haven’t had dinner yet tonight.
4278. Have you ever plagiarized?
4279. Who specifically annoys you?
No individual person.
4280. What is your favorite blanket like?
I don’t have a favorite blanket anymore. My funky airplane-covered sleeping bag got shredded in the like seven moves I’ve had over the past few years, so we left it in the dumpster in Tucson.
4281. How do you feel about teachers coming on to their students?
It’s not appropriate while they’re still in the teacher-student relationship.
Students coming on to their teachers?
Same as above.
4282. In what ways do you keep yourself entertained?
Give my data, give me R. Perpetual entertainment.
4283. Entertainers (musicians, sports players) are the highest paid people in america. Why are we so obsessed with being entertained?
Because we seem to have lost the ability to entertain ourselves.
4284. Do you want a perfect body?
That’d be cool. But whose definition of perfection?
4285. Do you want a perfect soul?
I don’t believe we have souls.
4286. Which do you want more?
By option elimination, perfect body.
4287. Do you want people to notice when you’re not around?
Bah. I’m not that special.
4288. Are you more of a creep, a wierdo or special?
I’ve been told I’m quite weird.
4289. Who wrote the bible?
Hahaha, I almost wrote “Radiohead.”
4290. Who wrote the book of love?
4291. Who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp?
4292. Who rocks the party that rocks the party?
4293. If you could pick 5 things to study with no limits what 5 things would you pick?
Oh my. Statistics, math, philosophy, music, art.
4294. Do you study any of them on your own?
Statistics and philosophy, yes.
4295. What’s more important, learning or getting the hell out?
4296. What is your favorite highlighter color?
4297. Give everyone some advice:
Some bugs that live in sink drains are impervious to bleach.
4298. Are you practically perfect in every way?
Last time I checked, I wasn’t Mary Poppins.
4299. Are you nasty and tricksy?
I don’t think so…
4300. Where is the precious?
We’re almost done, readers! Soon, no more obnoxious posts like this. Until I find the next super long survey.
4101. What is the most difficult thing you have ever overcome?
The last two years.
4102. What is more imporatnt, how much someone has achieved or how far they have come to achieve it?
4103. Have you ever had anything published?
Indeed I have. A couple poems. My thesis.
4104. Of the following, what kind of person would you be more attracted to (1 is highest, 3 lowest):
less good looking than you?
about as good looking as you?
more good looking than you?
how goodlooking are you?
Can there be negative values for this?
4105. less intelligent than you?
about as intelligent as you?
more intelligent than you?
how intelligent are you?
I’d like to think I’m intelligent, but who knows, eh?
4106. has less money than you?
3 (having less money than me would mean they’d have like $4)
has about as much money as you?
has more money than you?
How wealthy are you?
HA. Not very.
4107. less wild and crazy than you?
about as wild and crazy as you?
more wild and crazy than you?
How wild and crazy are you?
It depends. Have I had a Red Bull?
4108. Is your bathroom shelf stacked with numorous bottles of lotions and creams?
Nope. Just eyeshadow and nail polish, haha.
4109. How do you maintain your body?
Broccoli. Stationary bike.
4110. Did you ever imagine that objects have a life of their own?
They DO. In a way.
4111. What is it like to be an object, do ya think?
Who knows? I think humans and objects are a lot more similar than we generally think.
4112. Do stones, rocks, trees, lamps, water, couches, etc all have some sort of life energy running through them?
In a way, yeah.
4113. Would you ever consider getting romantically involved with:
I don’t have a teacher right now.
I don’t have a doctor right now either, actually.
4114. If ____ asked me for sex, I could NOT refuse. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking.
You know what’s coming…LEIBNIZ! Too bad he’s dead.
4115. What is ‘nothing’?
LIES! There is always something.
4116. Would you rather read about how to get better abs or about how thousands of people across the globe are marching for peace?
I’d read the ab book first, then exercise my abs while I read about the peace march.
4117. Should america make love, not war?
America and Canada should get together and be a cute little North American couple. Or both should get together with Mexico and have a cute little North American orgy.
4118. If you could nominate anyone for sainthood, who would you and why?
I have no idea.
4119. Can you name one person who is purely good?
No such thing.
4120. How about one person who is completely evil?
No such thing.
4121. Is there a book inside of you?
I EAT PAPERBACKS FOR BREAKFAST
If yes, what about?
I’m still working on fixing up Prime.
4122. Do you call people more often or get calls more often?
I get calls more often. The phone terrifies me.
4123. What do you wake up to?
My phone alarm. And dread.
4124. If you could get a free subscription to any magazine what would it be?
Significane (it’s a stats magazine)
4125. When you wrote letters to santa did you ever ask for stuff that didn’t exist?
I honestly don’t think I ever wrote to Santa.
4126. Make up a new slogan for McDonald’s:
Creepy clowns and French fries! YAY!
4127. What kind of people do you like to be associated with (buisness, writers, dark, antisocial, spiritual, happy)?
Weird silly band people!
4128. How are you like a toaster?
4129. Do you believe we are really in the matrix?
4130. There are 2 dolls, a gw Bush doll and a Sadam Hussein doll. You can only afford one. Which do you buy?
4132. Finish the sentances:
I’m speed racer and I drive real fast, I drive real fast:
But I wear no pants.
I’m a big bird and I like to steal, I like to steal and I like to:
Flap my friends.
I’m a barbie doll and I’ve got grace, I’ve got grace but:
I have a plastic face.
4133. What do you think aliens would think of life on earth?
“What in the hell is all that insanity down there?”
4134. What image do you get from the words ‘urban decay’?
HOUSES ROTTING OMFG
4135. Have a ___ day. Fill in the blank with anything but ‘nice’
4136. Do you own anything with a:
southpark character or logo on it?
greatful dead bear or logo on it?
4137. What is your impression of beatniks?
I don’t really have one.
4138. What was the last thing you ordered (or watched) on pay-per-view?
I’ve never ordered anything on pay-per-view.
4139. Nails, long or short?
4140. Do you prefer touch lamps, the clapper, or the old-fashioned light switch?
Haha, we had a touch lamp. I had way too much fun with it.
4141. Can you ‘berry talk’?
What on earth is berry talking?
4142. Do you like vines on old buildings?
I don’t really have an opinion on them.
How about grafitti on old buildings?
I’m not a graffiti fan.
4144. Have you ever owned those magic markers that could change colors?
Oh my god, that was like my entire first grade year.
4145. It’s not easy bein’ ____. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking.
4146. Is there a song that has been stuck in your head since you were a child?
I really think that I heard Holst’s “Jupiter” when I was really young and kind of internalized it, ‘cause when I heard it in high school I was like, “holy crap, I KNOW this song!”
4147. Do you own anything plaid?
4148. Do you recycle?
4149. What is your strongest point?
4150. What is your weakest point?
What are you doing to work on that weakness?
4152. A baby is born witha terminal disese. She will suffer agonizing pain for 5 years and then die. The mother gives the baby a sleeping medicine and it dies. Mom claims it was a mercy killing. Prosecution claims it was murder. You are on the jury. What is your vote?
4153. Why doesn’t poetry say outright what it means?
Because that’s what art is, yo.
4154. Read this sentance:
As time flies along, we sit and dream.
Now delete it.
Now write any sentance you want there instead.
4155. What is your opinion of Orson Welles?
I like him.
4156. If you were a lotion, what would your label say?
Ooh la la! Rub me places. ;)
4157. What side is your good side?
My butt. Yes, it’s a side.
4158. Rewrite that sentance you deleted up there as best you can. Try to get the idea across even if you don’t get the exact words right:
Hahaha, I can’t even remember it at all now. I’ve been answering these questions in spurts over the past five days.
4159. What is your favorite work by Edgar Allen Poe?
I like The Raven. Or The Telltale Heart.
4160. Of the following short stories which would you be most likly to read (based on titles alone if you aren’t familiar with them, 1 is most likely 9 is least likely)??
Young Goodman Brown
The Cask of Amontillado
The Story of an Hour
A & P
4163. Who is your favorite star wars character?
C-3PO, man. He’s awesome.
4164. Why haven’t we begun to colonize the moon?
We probably will at some point. It’s got helium, after all, and we’re running out.
4165. What did you think of the shuttle columbia blowing up?
I remember it happened the day before my birthday, but I don’t remember much apart from that.
4166. What do you remember about the challenger?
Nothing. I wasn’t born yet.
4167. Is the force with you?
4168. What is your favorite spoof movie?
Does Spaceballs count?
4169. Would you ever own a(n):
robotic slave (where the robot is consiouss of itself)?
Like Bicentennial Man? That was a good movie.
trained ape slave?
human clone slave?
4170. What can no one stop you from doing?
4171. Who would you be bored without?
4172. What is your only hope?
4173. Would you rather visit france or puerto rico and why?
France; I would love to see the culture there and the Eiffel Tower.
4174. Have you ever corrupted someone or dragged them down?
Probably. I’m bad.
4176. Does any part of your body get in yyour way?
My big fat butt. My big fat everything.
4177. Leia or Amidala?
4178. Do you trust your feelings?
What are these…“feelings”?
4179. Do you feel empty or passionate most of the time?
4180. What was your moment of triumph?
Those of you who know me know what it is. I think.
4182. In what ways are you a rebel?
I wear weird stuff? Though I don’t do so to rebel.
4183. In what ways are you a conformist?
I exist within society without much protest.
4184. Do you likie movie endings that leave you wondering or tie upp all the loose ends?
Meh. I’m not much of a movie person.
4185. What movie has the best soundtrack?
4186. What adventure would you like to undertake?
Goin’ to Antarctica!!
4187. Do you tip gas station attendants when you get full service?
I’ve never gotten full service. God, that sounds dirty.
4188. Do you own any souvineers; what from where?
My dad used to get me a shirt from every different place he went (so I had a shirt from every corner of the world, haha). But I’m picky about my shirts, so he quit.
4189. Does your age make you embarrassed?
Meh. I’m old.
4190. Are you the strong and silent type?
Depends. I can be pathetic and loud, too.
4191. What do your shoes look like?
They’re FiveFingers! They’re the most comfortable shoes ever. I recommend them.
4192. Do you ever admire yourself while naked?
I cover my eyes when I pass the mirror.
4193. If you could make someone’s clothes magically disappear who would you do it to and where?
I would have killed for this power a few summers ago, man.
4194. Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows the first fool?
The THIRD fool following the second fool.
4195. A good website for the bored (not a diary one):
4196. Did people REALLY land on the moon?
To reiterate a recent xkcd: if NASA faked the moon landings, what made them STOP faking them?
4197. Would you rather live for a month in India or Alaska?
4198. What is one country you would NEVER visit and why?
I have no idea. I don’t think I’ll get to go to many places in life, so I’m not going to say I wouldn’t visit any particular country.
4199. Who is the busiest person you can think of?
My dad’s pretty busy, especially now that school’s about to start up again.
4200. What is the average length of your relationships?
4001. How would you rate your sex drive?
It’s under NEGATIVE NINE THOUSAND!!
4002. You are sitting alone with a stack of videos and a vcr. Of the following which are you most likely to put on (1 is most, 10 is least)
The good the bad and the ugly,
twin peaks fire walk with me,
jerry springer too hot for tv,
singing in the rain,
the muppet movie
4003. Are you more likley to get or send random instant messages?
4004. If you were writing an ad telling people to come to your town what would you say about it?
Tucson: like living on the surface of the sun, but without the hazards of space travel!
4005. What part of your body can you not stand to get an itch on?
The inside of my ear.
4006. How many people do you suppose have stolen that System of a Down album called ‘steal this album’?
Haha, I saw a used copy of that at Hasting’s once with a sticker on it that read “stealing this album will result in appropriate prosecution.”
4008. would you rather have a poster of john lennon or a cute fuzzy black cat?
4009. make a public service announcement:
The Oxford comma’s totally hip now. Use it.
4010. What makes you feel the need to escape?
Not having plans.
4011. You and your signifigant other, crush, interest etc…who is the ernie and who is the bert?
I don’t really have an “interest” right now, but I think we’d both be Berts. I don’t think I’d usually have an interest in an Ernie.
4012. When was the last time you did something and later asked yourself ‘did I do the right thing?’?
Oh, I’m sad now.
4013. What do you find it hard to say goodbye to?
4014. What is your fantasy valentine’s day like?
I’m having fun and I’m not alone. That’s about as far as I’ve fantasized for Valentine’s Day.
4015. If you had to have a color for a name, what color would it be?
RADICAL CARROT. Oh my god. I might have to go change my name like right now.
4016. Should preference be given to minority students during the college admission process?
In an ideal world, it wouldn’t HAVE to be.
4017. Sweet wine, fresh crisp appples, bagles with creme cheese and lox…what is the most incredibly luxurious food?
German chocolate cake is pretty far up there for me.
4018. Is there really anything to fear in communism?
There’s something to fear in everything.
4019. Best sesame street character:
Grover’s a BAMF.
most annoying sesame street character:
I never liked Elmo much.
4020. feast or famine?
4021. Write a poem right here in five minutes or less:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Datum means one
Data means two.
Sorry, that was totally lame.
4022. Do you stay and help clean up after a party?
I would, yes. I haven’t been to a party in like 4,000 years.
4024. What are you the prince or princess of?
4025. Some people think that Christmas should be taken off of public school calanders because it is politically incorrect. What aould you say to this?
Pfft. People are way too uptight about these kinds of things.
4026. Would you rather go to an excorcism or a step aerobics class?
Hahahahahaha. I’ll take aerobics, thanks.
4027. Do you believe in spells and curses?
4028. What tv show does your family watch together?
My mom and I watch DVR’ed Daily Show and Colbert Report every once and awhile.
4029. What’s on your calander this year?
A bunch of weeks. A couple months. 181 more days to screw up.
4030. Is anything ruining your life?
4031. How was life meant to be lived?
4032. What is your usual breakfast?
A scrambled egg with lots of pepper.
4033. If you had kids, would you worry about what they did online?
Probably. I think I’d be the most anxiety-riddled parent on the planet. Either that or I’d let my little dude do whatever and assume he’s got some common sense.
4034. Will you be maxin and relaxin this weekend?
What does that even mean?
If not, what are your weekened plans?
Wait! I need to know what “maxin’ and relaxin’” is so that I can tell you if I plan to do otherwise!
4035. Who has the most interesting story to tell:
someone who used to fly to asia as a drug trader
the ceo of Nike
a nyc homeless person
a preacher’s wife
Probably the homeless person.
4036. What do you have a bad feeling about?
The rest of my life.
4037. Do you have a lot to say?
About some things, yes.
4038. If a smallpox vaccine was offered to you, would you take it?
4039. Would you ever work at a kissing booth?
No one would pay to kiss me.
how about a dunking booth?
That’d be fun.
4040. There is a woman who paints by stripping naked, rolling around in paint and then pressing her body against the canvas. What do you think of her art?
4041. Have you ever bought something you saw on tv?
Haven’t we all?
4043. Have you gone mental?
4044. What do you think of jews for jesus?
Haha, sounds interesting.
4045. Has anyone ever tried to ‘save’ you?
Yes. Obviously it didn’t work.
4046. Quick! picture santa clause in your head…
Was he black or white when you pictured him?
Haha, it was actually Santa Bot from Futurama. So he was grey.
4047. Would you ever buy a black santa clause?
Sure. Good luck finding one in AZ, though.
4048. or take your kids to vist a black santa clause?
why or why not?
4049. What do you smell like?
4050. What kind of soup do you eat?
I’m not much of a soup person.
4051. What have you heard about the next Harry Potter book?
Haha. Old survey.
Will you pre-order it?
I’m not a Harry Potter fan.
4052. Would you rather go out or stay in?
4053. What’s your favorite song to hear on halloween?
I’ve always liked The Monster Mash.
4054. What song makes you feel all tingly like you want to laugh and scream and cry?
4055. If you were starting a website that was not about you, what Would it be about?
4056. Do you ever take the long way just for fun?
4057. ‘..and god said let there be ____and there I was.’
Fill in the blank, as if if you were talking about yourself.
4058. What do you think of when you hear the word ‘mill’?
4059. What do you think of when you hear the name:
4060. What is one social disaster you have had?
4061. Can you moonwalk?
I don’t think I’ve ever tried.
4062. If a presidential candidate went on late night tv, picked up a guitar and rocked out on it and could really play, would that influence you to like/respect them more?
I’d be impressed with them, but if I didn’t agree with them politically I still would vote for my guy (even if he was totally musically inept).
4064. If it was possible for people to instantly change from one sex to another, would everyone be straight in the end?
Would you change your sex?
I’ve got Claude. I don’t need to.
4065. Finish the sentance: nobody broke your heart, if you’re alone…
It ain’t nobody’s fault but your own (had to make it rhyme. Sorry.)
4066. Would you rather have a best friend OR a boyfriend/girlfriend on a Friday night?
Neither. I like to be alone on Friday nights.
4067. Would a woman rather be complimented about her intelligence OR her looks?
*I* would rather be complimented on my intelligence.
4068. Do you tend to think of the right thing to say after the moment is gone?
4069. Would you rather a potential mate have nice hair OR nice legs?
4070. Okay,…. nice hair OR a nice rack/bulge?
4071. What is one thing you thought you would enjoy, but actually didn’t?
GRAD SCHOOL OH MY GOD
4072. Be in the spotlight OR in the shadows?
4073. What is your favorite part of the newspaper?
4074. What in your life has been an “acquired taste” for you?
4075. Do you find sunlight makes you happier?
It makes me forget the doldrums of Vancouver where I spent 2 miserable years of my life. So yes.
4076. If you could conquer one fear, it would be…?
My fear of being inadequate.
4077. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen someone do or heard anyone has done?
That’s a very hard question. Have you SEEN the internet?
4078. How do you feel about the fact that J-Lo earns 37 million dollars a year?
Do you buy anything that contributes to her salary?
I don’t think so.
Is J Lo the ultimate ideal of what a woman should be?
Maybe to some people.
4080. Worst fashion mistake EVER:
4082. Is there a musical performer more ridiculous than Avril Lavigne (I don’t think there is)?
Hey, Avril’s not so bad.
4083. What is the best:
daytime talk show?
I have no idea.
late night talk show?
Again, no idea.
4084. Are you afraid of total freedom?
I don’t know.
4085. Do you live in an invisible prison?
How would I know if I did? I haven’t run into any of the bars yet.
4086. Who do you feel distant from, that you used to be close to?
Pretty much all my friends. And not just physically.
4087. Rate the following song lyrics (1 = you like it the most, 9 = you like it the least).
Maybe you shouldn’t care/throw away those dreams/& dare
Eden lets me in/I find the seeds of love/And climb upon the highwire/I kiss and tell all my fears
I know the pressure is on/In a race for the life of endless love/If it seems to much/Remember/All these things are endless
I see the wind, oh I see the trees/Everything is clear in my heart/I see the clouds, oh I see the sky/Everything is clear in our world
Inflatable doll/Lover ungrateful/I blew up your body/But you blew my mind
Well I jumped into the river/too many times to make it home/I’m out here on my own/drifting all alone/and if it doesn’t show/ give it time/to read between the lines
The very thought of you makes/My heart sing/Like an April breeze/On the wings of spring/And you appear in all your splendor/My one and only love
now I’ve had lots of girls/most of them from other worlds/but lookin through the galaxey/the valley girls are the ones for me
I’m the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion/the clumsy boots, peek-a-boo roots that people think so dashing/so what’s the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?/it’s kind of tough to tell a scruff the big mistake he’s making
4088. Can you name any of the nine bands/songs above?
GUNS N’ ROSES…the last one’s Atom Ant…that’s about all I know.
4089. What would your reaction be if a total stranger called to say s/he loved you and told you that you were to pass the message on to others in a telephone call you make yourself?
I would run.
4090. Would you like to take a journey to jupiter?
4091. Can you crack nuts in your bare hands?
4092. Do you take walks at night?
I used to in Vancouver. Here I’d probably get stabbed.
4093. Beavis and Butthead or daria?
4094. Cow or chicken?
Oh my god I loved that cartoon.
4095. Do you think you will visit China in this life?
4096. Are you having a happy day?
Meh. It’s a day.
4097. When was or will be your ‘golden birthday’ (when your age is the same as your birthdate, like turning 17 on the 17th)?
Haha, when I was two.
4098. Enlighten everyone with something profound:
I’m not wearing pants.
4099. When has the third time been the charm for you?
Hmm…not sure, actually. I can usually get things to work the first or second time.
4100. What is kinda sick, but fun?