Okay, duders, I’m changing my spring schedule around. ‘Cause I always do that. ‘Cause I’m me.
Reason: I’ve wanted to take STAT 453, Stochastic Methods, ‘cause my knowledge of such things is pretty much zero. I knew that it was offered in the spring, but I thought that I needed both 451 and 452 as prerequisites. However, I randomly decided to check the course catalog (again…) and it turns out that only 451 (which I’m in now) is the prereq. So Stochastic Methods is in! It knocks out poetry and leaves me with just Advanced Nonfiction as my only English class next semester. Kinda sad, but I’m excited about Stochastic Methods.
Updated schedule (as if anyone cares):
You know what I’m thankful for?
My freaking awesome mother.
I know a fair number of my friends have bad relationships with their moms, but I seriously can’t imagine having a better relationship with my mom.
Heck, I can’t imagine having a better mom.
So mom, I know you read these (whenever I get around to posting them, haha) and I just want you to know how much I love you and appreciate you and appreciate all the stuff you’ve done for me over the past 25 years. I’m so glad we’re as close as we are and I’m so glad we “get” each other.
I love you, mom! <3
This is honestly the coolest, most informative thing I’ve found on the internet this year.
From the “about” page: The list on the left-hand side displays the names of the 76 probability distributions (19 discrete and 57 continuous) present in the chart. Hovering your mouse over the name of a distribution highlights the distribution on the chart, along with its related distributions…Each distribution on the chart, when clicked, links to a document showing detailed information about the distribution, including alternate functional forms of the distribution and the distribution’s mean, variance, skewness, and kurtosis.
This makes me SO. HAPPY.
Freaking LOOK at some of these:
I really, really want a poster of this whole thing.
So today’s topic has been on my mind for awhile, and since I have nothing else that’s dying to be said today, I felt like I could just talk about it now.
At the beginning of last semester I gave the link to my blog to a newly acquired friend (said friend: I don’t know if you still read this, but if you are, you probably know what I’m going to talk about, haha). They read a few pages and came back to me the next day saying that the whole blog felt rather pointless.
Understandably, this rather quick judgment had me kind of miffed. But then I realized that they probably saw my blog as pointless because they’re just looking at the surface of it.
And at the surface, it is pretty pointless. I mean really, there’s not much else here apart from surveys, crappy art, crappy rants, internet stuff, and me obsessing about school/stats/Leibniz/other such things.
But I’ve kept this blog since 2006. That means that I’ve blogged from my last month in high school up until now. That’s about 7.5 years now. That’s a long freaking time, especially when it comes to keeping up a daily routine. And there are a lot of reasons why I’ve decided to keep the routine of blogging and why this blog may seem, at the surface, “pointless.”
- I use this blog to get out some of the extra noise in my head. Doing so may take the form of a rant, a reflection, a discussion about school, whatever. Writing it out just helps to clear some of the clutter.
- I use this blog to post some of my creative things: my writing, my drawings, my “songs.” However crappy they are, I do like to get them out there somewhere.
- I use this blog to talk about my passions. Not a lot of my friends like the things I like. It’s hard to find someone to sit down with and rave about statistics. It’s hard to find someone to quote Achievement Hunter with (actually, since I don’t know anyone in person who’s a fan of them, I can’t really find anyone to do this with) or who will talk about how wonderful Leibniz is. I talk about my passions here because if I didn’t, I’d never get to talk about them at all.
- I use this blog to retain my sanity. I had practically no friends in Vancouver, no friends in London, no friends in Tucson, and very few friends now that I’m back in Moscow. I know it sounds cheesy, but just having somewhere where I could get words out into the public (even if that public was the vast, disinterested internet) made those times manageable.
- I use this blog to record my life. It’s not all of my life by any means, but it’s a decent chunk of it. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been able to use my blog to go back and find the specific date or dates of something important or something school-related. I love having a record of things, and that’s what this blog is.
So yeah. On the surface, all my posts (or at least the vast majority of them) are probably pretty meaningless. But they mean something to me. They’re part of me. And I’m okay with it if you don’t want to read it.
Just please don’t think of it as pointless, because it most certainly is not.
For our second long story in Fiction, we had the options of either writing something new or revising one of our old draft stories we did earlier in the semester. After screwing around with a nonsense cliché story, I made the decision to revise my “Odor” story (first draft posted here). There are actually two reasons I wanted to do so:
1. For a long while, I’ve wanted to write about my experience with anosmia. Apart from a blog about it every now and again, I’ve never been able to really formally write about it. I’m not sure why—it’s kind of a difficult thing to write about in a formal setting, I guess. But trying to make a fictional story that involved a character who had anosmia really made it easy to express a lot of the things I wanted to express about anosmia without having it be about me. So that meant a lot.
2. When we workshopped my draft of “Odor” way back at the beginning of the semester, someone asked, “being born without a sense of smell is a thing?” I think that’s all I need as my second reason.
I’m so anxious I’m about to pee my pants. So you get a survey. A long one. Sorry.
1. What’s been the best day of your life so far?
It’s a tie between December 22, 2008 and July 25, 2009. That’s all the info you get.
2. Describe your best kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc.?
Oooh. This is private. Very, very special, but private.
3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?
I regret not taking more of an initiative in figuring out what I wanted to do with my life when I was younger. I wish I’d had a plan when I started college.
4. When was the last time you laughed so hard that tears fell from your eyes and what was it at?
It’s still this.
5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?
6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
Man, I can’t even pick.
7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?
I have lots and lots and lots of scars.
8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?
Uhhhh…somewhere where I’ve got a permanent job teaching stats. Or living in Antarctica. OR BOTH!
9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?
They’re not for me, but whatever floats your boat as long as you’re not hurting others.
10. What are your views on religion?
11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?
We’re not going to go there tonight, okay?
12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.
1. I’m not wearing pants right now.
2. I’m embarrassingly unilingual.
3. “Calendar” and “guarantee” are two words I can never spell correctly.
4. I’d be happy if I was even one inch taller.
5. I’m 100% okay with being single the rest of my life, but that doesn’t stop me from bitching about it every once and awhile.
13. What’s your zodiac sign?
I’m an Aquarius!
14. Pinpoint a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.
Oh man, I have no idea. I’ve never really felt satisfied with my life.
15. Discuss your first love.
The first one-sided love or the first mutual love? They are very different.
16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.
Fear – Sia
The Wrath of Marcie – The Go! Team
The Galaxy – Dethklok
Reasons – Thermostatic
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
Sing Sang Sung – Air
Dancing Shoes – Dev
Us Against the World – Coldplay
Zero – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Take a Bow – Muse
17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.
18. What’s your earliest memory?
Uh…I remember the time I fell off the slide and got a concussion…not sure how old I was when that happened, though. I also remember taking a sheet of alphabet stickers and sticking them to EVERYTHING in the house. Not sure how old I was then, either.
19. What are your views on mainstream music?
Some of it’s good, some of it’s bad, just like all music.
20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?
Highs: calculus, teaching, figuring out I can graduate next spring, meeting a bunch of awesome dorks in my Linear Algebra and Proofs classes.
Lows: making a lot of dumb mistakes.
21. What are your strongest beliefs?
I believe in treating everyone with respect and dignity and in being nice to others. We’re all just human beings, guys. Hate is such a waste.
22. Who are you closest to in your family?
My mom, definitely. And my kitten, but she hates me, haha.
23. How important do you think education is?
24. What’s one of your favorite shows?
Metalocalypse. Especially now that we’re getting another season!
25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?
Uh…I’m older? I’d like to think I’m better at a few specific things, but that is highly unlikely.
26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.
If dead people count, Leibniz. And only Leibniz.
If not, then the whole AH crew. I don’t care that there are six of them. I mean, look at these dorks:
27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.
Sunshine! It’s about our sun dying and a team of astronauts being sent into space to restart it with a nuclear bomb. It sounds really, really dumb, but it’s actually FANTASTIC. Trust me, bros.
28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?
Leibniz. How can you NOT be fascinated by him, seriously? He (co-)invented calculus, he improved on Pascal’s calculator, he refined the binary system, he had the wig of 1,000 gods…what more do you want?!
29. What kind of person attracts you?
People who aren’t jerks to everyone. I also find people who have one or two super strong obsessions/passions very attractive.
30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?
Trying to figure out what’s next. It’s not really a problem per se (yet), but it’s still bothering me that I don’t have a set-in-stone plan for the next few years.
31. Name something that you miss.
32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.
What is today, the 21st of November? Hmm…
1. Survive finals week (and by “survive” I mean “get a 4.0”)
2. Get some super secret future-related stuff done
3, Hang out with all my friends from Proofs since I’m not going to have any classes with any of them next semester
4. Clean the basement?
5. Work on a writing project that I’ve been neglecting since…um…August.
33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point?
Highlight: doing well on the two exams I had this month
Lowest point: this week. It’s just been super busy and crazy and…difficult.
34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?
Something that no one should ever, ever do. I got karmic backlash for it, and I deserved every bit of it.
35. What is your biggest insecurity? why?
Being me. Because I’m me.
36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?
I…actually haven’t listened to any music today (shocker!) and I can’t remember what I listened to yesterday.
37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it, etc.?
I don’t know if I have any actual *toy* toys left. None come to mind, at least.
38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death?
Both my grandpas, yes.
39. What is your purpose in life?
I WISH I KNEW
40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?
I cried this morning ‘cause I’m in “let’s freak out about tests” mode. Pathetic? Yes.
41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do?
I don’t have a favorite celebrity.
42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?
I’d say…Coldplay. Reason #1: Paradise. Reason #2: Us Against the World.
43. What are 3 personality traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself?
Like: persistent, hard-working….nice?
Dislike: quick to anger, quick to frustration, overly obsessive.
44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make?
All I really make anymore are noodles.
45. What was the last decision you regretted making?
WHERE TO START?!
46. Who’s opinion of yourself do you value the most?
Probably my mom’s.
47. What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever said to another human being and what drove you to say it?
Oh man, I have no idea. I try not to say nasty things to people. Though I do remember one particularly nasty fight I had with a friend in high school (which luckily only lasted like three days) during which I intimated that she’d been kicked off the cheerleading squad rather than just quitting. That doesn’t sound too bad, but the way I yelled it in front of the whole cafeteria was pretty bitchy of me.
48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said about YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?
[Insert pretty much anything my grandma on my mom’s side has said. But she’s dead to me now, so it doesn’t matter.]
49. You can ask your favourite celebrity 3 questions and she’s taken a magical truth pill so she will 100% answer honestly, what do you ask?
Again, I don’t have a favorite celebrity.
50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?
I’d love to do something important in the field of statistics, but no guarantee that that will happen. I’d just like to make peoples’ lives better/easier somehow.
51. What makes you most angry?
People who enter through the “Exit” door and who leave through the “Enter” door. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
52. Who do you think is a really underrated celebrity and what do you love about them?
53. What are the main qualities you look for when thinking about a significant other?
54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?
When Aaron and I were going out, I went to Hawaii with the band for the beginning of Thanksgiving break and he was going home for the entire break, so we weren’t going to see each other at all that week. When I got back from Hawaii I found a vase of roses, a bunch of stuff from the dollar store (it was our special place, haha), and a super cute note saying that he couldn’t wait to see me again. It rocked.
55. What is one of your favorite memories?
Can I just say the whole year living with the guys in the house? That was an awesome year.
56. What do you do when you really want to impress someone?
Screw it up and misread signals and realize that any person worth impressing is probably a person who wouldn’t talk to me in the first place.
57. What are your 3 favourite animals?
Cats…uh, slugs…and elephant seals? Yeah, find a weirder list than that.
58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?
Probably Rock Band II. It was such a surprise and my roomies and I spent SO MUCH TIME playing it. Super awesome.
59. People always go around saying ‘oh I’m their biggest fan,’ but what does being a truly big fan of someone mean to you?
I think it involves enjoying whatever that person does (or that person in general), but not to the extent that you ignore/dismiss their flaws (then it just gets creepy).
60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?
Everything, always. Welcome to Claudia Land.
61. What is something you feel like you are really good at?
Making up new song lyrics to existing songs.
62. What are your top 5 favourite all time songs by your favourite artist?
I don’t think I have a favorite artist.
63. What are your top 5 favourite all time videos by your favourite artist?
64. If you were given $3,000,000 to put towards 3 charities/foundations ($1 mil each obvs), what would you choose and why?
I’d make my own!
65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?
Uh…I actually can’t think of anything specific right now.
66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?
I never have this problem, mainly because I don’t “go to bed” until I’m ready to pass out.
67. What’s something that’s on your bucket list?
68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?
1. Disband the Republican party.
2. Can I just do that?
3. I think that would solve a lot of issues.
69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?
I’ve always liked Christmas. I like the weather around that time (usually) and it means my mom is off from work and we can hang and open presents!
70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger.
When I younger I had a knack for getting stuck in snow banks. Like, I’d be climbing over a bank of snow and my boot would get lodged in it and I’d be stuck. This happened more than I care to admit.
Anyway, one time this happened at the Post Office when we lived in Troy and this random guy had to come and pull me out. I was so freaking embarrassed, you don’t even know.
71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?
Can I say all of Dethklok? ‘Cause that’s what I’m going to say.
72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?
Reading this survey? I have no idea. I actually have no song in my mind right now.
73. Put the 7 deadly sins in order of the one you commit the most to the least.
Hmm…Wrath, Envy, Gluttony, Sloth, Greed, Pride, Lust.
74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?
The Butt Song would be fantastic.
75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?
I don’t really look like anyone famous. At least, I’ve never been told I do.
76. What’s one thing you can not live without?
77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?
It involved relationship stuff. Not going there tonight.
79. What are 3 things that have happened in your life that you’ve never forgotten? Big or small, just things you know you won’t ever forget and still seem crystal clear now.
1. The time my cat Wooder died on my bed when I was really young.
2. Having to leave my sixth grade graduation ceremony to go get an emergency appendectomy.
3. When I was in fourth grade I wrote this poem called “The Tart that Could Fart.” In the Christian school I attended, the word “fart” was pretty racy and thus my poem was not enjoyed by my teacher at the time. I remember a few days after I wrote it some older kid (I think his name was Greg?) went up to me and said that Sister Margaret (our principal) wanted to meet with me in her office and discuss the poem. I was 100% sure I was going to be expelled. Turns out this kid was making the whole thing up. He was forced to apologize and then pretty much hated me from that point onward.
80. What is most important to you in friendships and relationships, and why?
I really need to feel comfortable around the person/people and they need to feel comfortable around me as well. Once we all feel okay enough to start getting weird, then the fun starts.
81. What’s your favourite children’s tv show/movie?
THE BRAVE LITTLE TOASTER
82. What song makes you cry the most?
10,000 Miles – Mary Chapin Carpenter.
83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?
84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?
Run away from it all.
85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?
One thing, yes.
86. What’s your biggest fear?
Failing. (And dragonflies.)
87. What is your favorite food?
88. Least favorite food? Why?
I don’t know if I have a least favorite. I have a whole list of things I don’t like, but I don’t think I dislike one thing more than everything else.
89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why?
Welcome to my life.
90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?
I keep a blog. Everything goes in it (except sanity).
94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?
I shouldn’t be in charge of having children, let alone naming them.
95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?
96. How did your name get chosen? What’s the story behind it?
According to my mom, I looked like a “Claudia.”
98. Are you a virgin?
99. What are the stories behind your tattoos/piercings and if you don’t have any, would you like any?
My industrial was a last-minute decision when Lanky, Aaron, and I road-tripped to Missoula so that Aaron could get a few new piercings.
And yes, I would like tattoos.
100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they?