Alright. So.
I very soon need to make a decision as to what’s going on with my life next. I’d really love to continue teaching here, but since I’m turning 26 next February and have to make the big switch to my own insurance rather than hanging on my parents’, I need to get a job that allows me to do so.
So here’s what’s what:
Math degree is scheduled for completion in Spring 2014. What shall I do after that?
Well, I’m going to schedule a meeting with Dr. Williams soon and ask him if there’s any chance that my current position could turn into something full time (like…being in charge of intro stats perhaps?). If that’s possible, then I’ll just stay here and, in my free time (what’s left of it, at least), continue to take classes.
If not, I pretty much have to go back to grad school somewhere. Not around here—neither UI nor WSU offer a PhD in statistics (yes, seriously. WTF?). But there are a few schools I’m interested in.
So I’m either going to be here forever or I’m leaving YET AGAIN!
Hopefully I’ll know soon. I’m really not too keen on packing all my crap up again, but what’re you gonna do. Life’s weird.
Okay, sorry. Just wanted to give y’all an update as to what’s going on in Claudia Land academic-wise.
(Like it matters.)
Summer Goals:
- Actually study for the GRE/GRE math subject test
- Rock calculus
- Rock summer teaching
- Go back up to Vancouver and walk the hell out of that city
- Figure out what’s going down next fall as far as teaching goes
- Figure out what’s going down for the rest of my life as far as everything goes
- Hit at least 1000 walking miles
- Thoroughly delve into Antognazza’s Leibniz: An Intellectual Biography
- Reacquaint myself with my old linear algebra notes
- Possibly visit Sean?
- Spend a weekend doing absolutely nothing but Minecraft/drawing/sitting in my basement away from everyone (though I kind of do that last one on most days anyway)
- Research possible graduate schools (AGAIN, UGH)
- A few other things that are private
The Fisher-Yates Shuffle is not a dance
So I’ve been screeching for like the past five minutes because THE FALL CLASS SCHEDULE IS UP ZOMG!
The bad:
Agh, the ONE CLASS I really, really, really wanted to take (History of Math) is not offered.
[frustrationfrustrationfrustrationfrustration]
The good:
Well hell, everything else looks good, though. Regardless of which section(s) I end up teaching of STAT 251, none of them will conflict with the other classes I want to take.
Tentative schedule:
(MWF)
STAT 451: Probability Theory (8:30 – 9:20)
ENGL 492: Advanced Fiction Writing (12:30 – 1:20)
MATH 432: Numerical Linear Algebra (1:30 – 2:20)
MATH 215: Intro to Advanced Mathematics (2:30 – 3:20)
(TH)
MUSA 321: Concert Band (4:30 – 5:20)
I also really want to take HIST 404: History of Science until 1800, but I can’t find the prerequisites anywhere (it’s a special topics class, so who knows) and it also conflicts with Advanced Fiction.
ANYWAY.
Throw one (or two?) sections of STAT 251 in there and we’re good.
But DAMMIT I wanted History of Math.
Bah, what’s with me?
This is going to sound like a super emo post, but I don’t have anything else to say today so you get to hear me bitch about pseudo problems.
I suck at being happy.
It’s not that I can’t be happy. It’s true that I haven’t been truly happy in like three years, but once I started teaching stats and taking classes, I finally felt that elusive joy you feel when you wake up knowing that you have a purpose (or at least can pretend to have one).
But whenever I get to that happiness stage, there’s always a little (often big) voice in the back of my head saying, “why the hell are you happy? Happiness = complacency, complacency = stagnation, stagnation = you’re not trying hard enough you fool.”
Stupid? Yeah, welcome to my world.
But that’s how it goes.
Now I have to find something to fret over obsessively to bring things back from “obscene happiness.”
‘Caaaaaaaaaaaause I suck.
RESOLVE
It’s time for the annual “did I do what I said I’d do at the beginning of the year?” rundown. Get ready for failure!
Last year’s:
SORT OF ACCOMPLISHED: Fix the “issues.” They’re “fixed” insofar as they’re not disrupting my life as much as they were last year. They’re still there, but being busy really, really helps with keeping them at bay.
ACCOMPLISHED: Get a job. Not only did I get a job, I got the best damn job possible for my situation right now. I now know that teaching stats is pretty much what I want to do.
ACCOMPLISHED: Return to acquiring knowledge in a formal setting. Not only did I return to school, but I’m able to take classes while working my awesome job! I really couldn’t ask for more here.
FAILED: Start and maintain a stats blog. I started and maintained a stats class, can I substitute that?
ACCOMPLISHED: Improve with R. All my stupid data analyses have paid off! I’ve also gotten substantially better with SAS thanks to the class I took.
FAILED: Go without dairy for a week. I don’t know why I keep this on as a New Year’s resolution. I love cheese.
FAILED: Go without electricity for a week. See above, but replace “cheese” with “internet.”
MOST LIKELY FAILED: Walk 2,500 miles. I have no damn idea how far I walked this year. Job + school + other job really got in the way of things, but I still booked it around Moscow quite a bit.
ACCOMPLISHED: Continue my 365 Days of Music project. Woo! Three years down!
ACCOMPLISHED: Blog daily. You knew this one’d keep, admit it.
ACCOMPLISHED: Win NaNoWriMo 2012. Not the best story in the world, but not nearly as bad as last year’s.
ACCOMPLISHED: Complete the 5,000 question survey. Finally! Bet you’re all glad to see that one gone, eh?
And this year’s:
- Blog daily.
- Win NaNoWriMo 2013
- Continue my 365 Days of Music project
- Draw at least two new thingies a month.
- Do something with my writing (I’m extending this past Prime because there are a few non-fic doohickeys I’ve got)
- Study for the GRE this time before I take the damn thing (old scores are defunct now)
- Get applyin’ for grad schools again (while simultaneously trying not to have a panic attack)
- Learn as much as possible.
- Revamp and start over with my book list.
- Uh…try not to die? Haha. I don’t have many 2013 resolutions.
I added this
So you may have noticed that I’ve got a new little tab thingy up at the top of my blog.
I’ve decided to make my attempt at 10,000 blog posts a legitimate goal. How interesting would it be to see the progression of a person over the span of approximately 27 years? Even though I’m like the least interesting person on the planet, I think just chronicling about a quarter of a century’s worth of time for anyone would prove an interesting study.
So yeah. Yet another Claudia Goal. Are you ready to put up with my inanity for another 21 years?
SCARY NOTIONS.
So close I can taste it
It’s going to be very difficult for me to leave school again when it becomes time to do so. I know I’ve mentioned this on here before, but in “Ideal Claudia World of Ultimate Happiness”, I would somehow find a way to continue to go to school for the rest of my life. Also, in this world, I’d keep on working my current job, because HOLY CRAP I LOVE IT SO. This was actually the most fantastic semester ever because not only did I get to take a bunch of cool classes, but I also got to teach at the same time.
You know, now that I think about it, even though it’d be a total longshot and would probably never work, I should propose it to the President of the U of I. “I will complete every undergraduate degree you offer if I can keep working as a lecturer to pay for it.” I’ve always said I’ve wanted to do that and then write a book about the experience. That’d actually be pretty good publicity for the University, assuming it was actually a good book (longshot #2). And how cool would it be to study a University by completing every major it has to offer?
I don’t care how outlandish and stupid that idea sounds—it sounds cool to me. And I know I’d run into arguments that would go along the lines of, “well, if you’re actually serious about learning stuff, you don’t necessarily have to stay in school; you can learn things outside of the classroom blah blah blah blah blah.”
Yes, I’m aware of that. Two counters:
1) quite a few of the things offered at a Univeristy are things that, on my own, I probably wouldn’t have either the resources to learn or even just the ability to learn in an efficient manner. Take a foreign language, for example. I’m not too confident about my bilingual ability (assuming I would acquire some) and thus would probably do best in a classroom-type setting. Learning about something else in which I have no background would fall under this category, too.
2) I’m actually one of those people who learns best in a classroom-type setting. I suppose I’m lucky in a way; ever since I entered school I’ve been in an environment that naturally works for me when it comes to actually learning material.
But anyway.
A girl can dream, right?
Haha, sorry, this has been on my mind all semester.
Don’t fear the future
So I met with my advisor today. After explaining that the reason I didn’t take half the classes I’d told him I’d take this semester was because I’ve got the best job EVER, he confirmed that my classes for next semester were good choices.
We also talked about what the heck I’m going to do for the next couple of years. While I’d like to get an actual factual math degree, we both agreed that the more practical (and equally awesome) plan should be for me to fill in my missing math knowledge (the calculus series, the two mathematical statistics classes) and then apply for a stats PhD somewhere. Unfortunately (fortunately? I don’t even know anymore), said PhD, if it were to occur, would not occur anywhere around here, ‘cause neither U of I nor WSU offers a PhD in statistics.
Of course, I’m going to try for the best programs in the country, which I might actually have a shot at considering my old (and TERRIBLE) GRE scores are going to be invalid by next October so I’ll have to retake that (after studying this time, of course).
BUT, I think I’ll have to be here two years, and in that time I think I can actually get a BS in math ANYWAY, so how cool? And I’m glad for the two years, anyway. I’m so sick of moving.
I’m excited. Time to look up schools!
