Brought to you by the random, semi-coherent paragraphs scrawled out in my sketchbook. Because 17 hours is a long-ass shift.
“…and this is just a FRACTION of the savings you’ll see!”
Oh yeah? Well what if the “fraction” of savings you’re seeing is something like 9.99/10? That’s a pretty big ass fraction to be saying this is JUST a fraction. It just seems stupid.
“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”
Says who? The one-eyed guy? The blind masses? Maybe the one-eyed man doesn’t want to be king. Maybe he just wants to steal the blind’s stuff and skip town.
“In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man can sure get away with a lot.”
“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”
And also fucks over a lot of optometrists. I wonder if this hypothetical world is the land of the blind. So how’d that one-eyed man escape this? Maybe everybody came to their senses in the middle of poking this guy’s eyes out—“wait…we need a ruler here! This guy has an eye, let’s let him do it!”
Why do all these sayings involve blind dudes?
“Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.”
Yes they can. Ever have someone scream “TACO TIME!” in your ear really loud?
Excruciating. I don’t have an eardrum anymore.
“It’s like shooting fish in a barrel!”
I can’t even describe how inefficient and messy that sounds like it would be. Why would you shoot the fish? For sport? Out of boredom? Because they mocked you? What are they doing in the barrel, anyway? Why wouldn’t you just bowl the barrel over if you wanted them dead? I think that would be more fun. “It’s like dumping a bunch of fish out of a barrel and not wasting any bullets!”